Hump This

Happy belated birthday to Jason X from the User Pool. Remind me to give you a link to my private naked Kelly Monaco slideshow! If you readers don’t know Jason, you need to check him out. His blog is very funny. The satire is incomparable! I shoulda known he was a Taurus…

Speaking of birthdays, Friday is Motley’s birthday. She has a fistful of Knotts Berry Farm tickets and no ride. Apparently, Motley’s bestie went to the doctor today. He told her she has anxiety and gave her drugs. Now she can’t go to Knotts for fear of getting too excited. Hmmph. There’s one kid who won’t be having sex anytime soon. Everyone stop by Socially Dead on Friday and help make Motley feel better about being 19 and not having a ride to Knotts. Hmmmn. Maybe Jason needs a day off from the User Pool and could go…

Alright, here’s something you can all sink your fangs into this Wednesday. Bite it, taste it, hump it until it’s wet and limp! THAT is Keeley Hazell. I wonder if I coulda gotten away with showing her boobage. Aw fuckit. Go here to see her tits.

If boobage ain’t your thang, I give you Nacho Figueras. Polo star extraordinaire. The face of Polo Black cologne. And now, the face of Mr. Fabulous, a darkly mysterious character in the Bar Story.

Mr. Fabulous has already had his entrance in the story, but it was fleeting. He comes to the Library, where the Blood Mistress reigns over the annals of the vampire world, and basically has her bowing and scraping and kicking out the other people in the Library. They get a glimpse of him and that’s it. The Blood Mistress’s first post features this mysterious Fabulous. He’s devious. He’s powerful. He’s handsome. He probably has a big dick too. Why else would he be so arrogant? Hee hee. His storyline is still in the works so there could be some major twists and turns ahead.

Before I sign off today, I want to talk hardcore with you. Yes. My 100th post is very close. And yes. I have noticed something about the comments on the 90+ posts thus far. One, you people like sex. If I post sex stuff from the Bar, you are all here slathering over it and drooling in the comments. Two, you people like freaky. If I post about cemetery stuff you are all fascinated in that rubber necking at a gruesome accident where a motorcyclist was decapitated on the freeway way. Lots of comments on the sex and the cemetery. Oooh. Now, that’s a catchy title!

I don’t know that you like hotness. You don’t comment on Wednesday hotness. So what’s wrong with this picture? You like sex. You like the cemetery. You don’t like the half naked celebs? I bet Dave didn’t even notice when I had Liz Hurley naked on here. I don’t think anyone did. Not that her tatas were hanging out anyway. It woulda been a MUCH better Humpday with naked Liz tits. Although, come to think of it, I do have naked Liz tits… Liz Phair. Maybe I will post those next week.

So what is it that you like? Sex? Freaky stuff? Freaky sex maybe? I’ll have to work on that last one. Not sure how to work it into this blog theme. If you like freaky sex you shoulda read my Pink Chair Diaries post. It was a little freaky and a lot hot. I’m not asking for comments. I’m just trying to get a handle on what you all like so I can accommodate you in the next 100 posts. After all, we can’t all be fucking Fabulous… although you know you want to.

See yas manana for a Half Nekkid Thursday and maybe even a Thursday Thirteen too!

Humpday Heat

So I wrote six thousand words on Sunday and I submitted it to the Pink Chair Diaries… and they accepted it! *does the Snoopy dance* Can you tell I am excited? My nipples are HARD, I tell you!

In honor of my six thousand words and improved emotional state, I have hotness today. First up is Megan Fox. Shinygal used her as the physical representation of her character Victoria at the Bar. So far Vic hasn’t been in the story much, but soon she’ll be ramping up.

Megan Fox

Next we have an athlete from Finland. At least, I think it said he was a track star from Finland. I was so busy drooling, I don’t remember much of what I read. His name is Lauri Kalima.

Lauri Kalima

Have a great Wednesday and if you get the chance, read the Were & the Chair and leave a comment. This is my first big endeavor outside of the Bar and I’m more excited than you can imagine. Wuvs yas!

Hungover Marcus Monday

I’m not really hungover, but I have that exhausted feeling that you get when you’re hungover. Not that I have any real experience with hangovers. Even when I drank too much, I never woke up with the pounding headache that announces a hangover. I would, however, wake up exhausted. Yesterday, while all the TC08 people were making their hungover ways home, I wrote six thousand words. That’s a lot, as any writer can tell you.

On Saturday, amid all the TC08 Flickr photos and Tweets, I was reading the Pink Chair Diaries. I decided I wanted to submit a story. The guidelines say approximately five thousand words a submission. So I spent some time Saturday night figuring out my plot. Sunday morning I made my banner and started on the story. At about 10:30 Sunday night I submitted it, all 5988 words of it. Hopefully, I’ll have a URL for the story soon. I’ll post it here when I do. The majority of those 6K words was all about sex, so I know you’ll all like that.

Today’s Marcus photo is one I saved for just such as day as this. He looks plastered. He either didn’t know or didn’t care that someone was giving him the rabbit ears. I don’t care. This guy’s hot even when he’s drunk and acting stupid. He can have all the tequila shots he wants from my cleavage. I figured that after all the drunken TC08 pics, I should post a drunken Marcus. It just sorta fits the theme of the aftermath of TC08.

Before I list the Marcuses, did you notice the other little pic in the upper right corner? The little giraffe labeled Alaric? My friend Jen, who sent me Marcus, sent me a new giraffe. So I created the Alaric Award. I’m thinking this award must be given for something to do with either kissing or drinking or maybe both. Alaric Kohl, the Bar Story character, is a drunk for the better part of the story. An asshole, but funny at times, a total poker shark, and… a drunk. When he meets Lex, he sobers up. He’s still an asshole sometimes, still cleans up at poker, drinks but doesn’t get drunk… and is always looking for an excuse to kiss his woman. I’ll figure it out eventually and post the criteria for the Alaric.

As for the Marcus, Marty was the man this week with 7. I think that’s only because Mary was busy having a baby. Hmmmn. Fab has 6. Othurme has 4. Mary and Matt got 3 each. I think Matt’s just been busy though, not off having a baby like Mary. Although if he was, we gotta get him on Springer or at the very least the Tyra Banks Show! Karl, Jason X, and Metalmom each have 2. I know MM and Karl were busy at TC08 which is why they haven’t been by much. As for Jason… his mojo was back so he was busy getting some. He was REALLY busy this week. If you don’t believe me, head on over to The User Pool to see for yourself. Next Monday is our next recap. We’re almost to the end of this round.

While I was busy with my six thousand words, the PITA went to Rip-offland. She should have pics and video over on Socially Dead at some point this week. That’s it for Marcus Monday. I’m taking my 6K word self to bed now. Enjoy your week!