Fake Horses & Pornfest

I love Trotter. He always makes me laugh. In a different way than Irish because, God and the sim knows, they have completely different styles of humor. Trotter is a friend from the horse racing sim game I play. Trot’s wise with a dry sense of humor and a frank appreciation for women. I whined in the sim chat that no one was commenting on my blog. Trot says, “Where’s the pics?” We all thought the same thing… Trot wanted nekkid women which reminds me of pornfest. So I decided I would talk about Trotter today. Trotter, the sim, and pornfest.

Pornfest is a creation of my S.O. Rott. Rott hooked up all the TVs in the condo to a porn feed from his DVD player. You can see porn in virtually every room in the house – he calls it Pornfest. Of course, when my kid was younger he could only do Pornfest when she went to her dad’s for the weekend or when we were gone for the day at work and school.

I used to tell the story of Pornfest in the sim chat room and most of the guys were complimentary. I mean, c’mon… what man isn’t into porn? The only ones I’ve ever met who didn’t like it were the holy rollers. And they prolly did too but just wouldn’t admit it. Just because you believe in God or Jesus doesn’t mean you can’t get turned on by people having sex.

Trotter is unabashedly male. I can smell the testosterone through the computer, I swear. He’s low key about it… not like Vett and his Girls Gone Wild attitude. No, Trotter is suave and uses his dry humor to advantage. I always think of him as the James Bond of the sim. Shaken, not stirred. Although I suppose in Trot’s case he’s stirred, not shaken! LOL So if Trot’s Bond, I guess that makes Irish Felix Leiter. Felix is the CIA agent who is Bond’s pal. He’s the Jerry Lewis to Trot’s Dean Martin. They are both hot as hell to the sim females although some of them refuse to admit it and prefer to hit on Greg. Heh.

Greg’s charm not withstanding, all the women seem to acknowledge Trot as the man about town (and the sim) that he is. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one disagree with him in the sim chat. Unless we’re talking sires and breeding. EVERYONE disagrees about THAT. It’s the universal cause of discord because no two people agree on breeding except the Super guys from Del Penn. I’ve never seen such fighting as the simmers do over breeding fake horses. Breed this one over. No, don’t. This is a good breeding. No, it’s not. Dixie Union is a good sire. I’ve never had the urge to use him. And on and on. I know, if you’re reading this and you’re not from the sim you’re going WTF is she yammering about?

The people from the sim are as fierce about it as others are about porn. Some people can’t live without at least a little porn entertainment in their lives. The simmers can’t live without their fake horses and the whole sim lifestyle of breeding and training and betting. Okay, some of the simmers can’t live without porn either. Like Trotter insinuating that he wouldn’t comment on my blog unless I posted pics… meaning naked ones. Maybe I’ll post a naked Kelly Monaco just for him this week. LOL

I guess we all have our obsessions. Mine is Marcus. Ok, and the sim. *sigh* Okay, Pornfest too. You got me there. Now I’ve confessed to everything. Well, maybe not everything. Heh. Time for me to go. The hot grocery delivery guy is due here anytime with my food! Just another little obsession of mine… like the fake horses and pornfest. Only this obsession breathes. Heh Heh.

Laters peeps!

Monster Invasion

The monsters in my life invade everything. My day, my night, my absolute everything. You see, the monsters are 2 feral cats and an arrogant kitten. My boyfriend tamed some feral kittens and that’s how I ended up with Swirly and Dum Dum (aka Dummy)Feral Cat. Otherwise known as the Feral Brothers.

The boys are about a year old now and in the past two or three months have gotten bigger and filled out. Okay, Dummy has gotten bigger and filled out. Swirly is still a skinny little thing afraid of his own shadow. They are very loving especially Swirly who likes to sleep with me and burrows under my hand as I sleep so I’m touching him. Dummy, so named because he’s a “big dumb guy” is a little more independent and lackadaisical. That’s Swirly with the big scared eyes.

The first thing anyone notices about Dummy is that he is beautiful. Exceptionally so. I just can’t get over how he turned into a big thick muscular butterball from the tall lean kitten he was before. I mean, I thought he was done growing he was so big, but oh, no! Overnight he seems to have become a big ass tom cat!

Now, added to this mix of the Feral Brothers is my daughter’s kitten, Neko aka Neko Monster aka Miss Sparta. This kitten is an attention whore and she has more energy than both boys put together. She causes a LOT of trouble! The boys were comparatively mellow until she came. She is wired out of her skull! If you’ve ever seen the Mean Kitty Song about Little Sparta the Mean Kitty on You Tube then you have seen Neko in action. She is just like Sparta.

These three monsters invade everything I do. Eating, sleeping, reading, working on the computer. Whatever it is that I am doing one or all of them will invade and mess with me. Usually, Neko Monster is the ring leader. I wonder how I’m gonna survive. I can’t eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom without the monsters. They sleep on my head, my legs, my stomach, my hands. They curl up around my feet if I’m on the toilet or sitting at my desk. They grab my legs when I get things out of the refrigerator. (They especially like the whipped cream can.) My life is a walking nightmare thanks to them. But I’m stuck. They’re so cute and lovable. I hate them and I love them. They make me laugh and they make me want to use them to make a field goal.

So I yell and curse and throw things at them… and let them sleep on me and eat off my plate when I’m done. Then I hear them purr and I know I couldn’t ever do anything really mean to them. Well, at least until the next time I try to put on my work shoes only to find a dried up cat turd they’ve been playing hockey with.


All Marcus, All the Time

How I came to be a skank is a strangely circuitous story. See, I have this thing for Marcus Schenkenberg. To me, the man is the most beautiful man in the world. I love his chest, his hands, his dimpled chin… just everything. He is the epitome of male beauty to me. I was obsessed with the man long before the Bar came into existence.

So here I am writing in the Bar and the day comes when Jen offers me Alaric Kohl for Lex Valentine’s mate. (See the post entitled The HEA.) Her inducement to me is to tell me that Alaric is embodied by Marcus Schenkenberg. I have to admit, that was a stroke of genius on her part, enticing me with Marcus. Of course I couldn’t resist.

Not long after that Jen invites me to this message board called Zanctuary or Z as we call it. The women there call each other skanks. They give each other skank names which I think have to be earned in some devious manner. So, very quickly it seemed, I was tagged as the Skankenberg. My response to this was to make skank avatars for everyone! I’ve had various versions of my skank av but this one was the first incarnation.

So now everywhere I go I have to use a Marcus av at some point. At JR Ward’s BDB MB I’m posting pics of Marcus in a kilt… or I’m posting about him at the Dark Muse Society. He’s even on my Yahoo Instant Messenger this week. It’s an av with Marcus and the little giraffe beanie Jen sent me for Christmas. Giraffes being synonymous with Marcus now because of Alaric. (Alaric’s mom makes him take dancing lessons even though at 6’6″ she says he’s a big giraffe.)

So now I’m a skank with an obsession with Marcus Schenkenberg, an attachment to a fictional character named Alaric the Asshole aka the big giraffe, and a collector of giraffe items. All because I think the man has the most beautiful chest and hands and um… everything ever. A skank with a giraffe fetish… not exactly what I thought I’d be at my age but what the hell. I’m enjoying myself drooling so just pass the tissues and laugh at me. It’s all good… and Marcus… he’s just too damn good.

Til next time. Laters peeps!

The HEA

So I write. If you know me (and if you’re reading this I suppose you do) you know I write. Some days the Bar consumes me. Other days I’m kinda meh about it. When I started at the Bar I created a character named Winter after my online name. I had a whole backstory put together in my head about her. A mate, a daughter, her mate’s best friend and bodyguard, her mate’s two cousins… So I had a cast of characters to draw on and include in the story as I went along.

In the beginning my people were slightly self contained although I did my damnedest to work them into the existing story and have their storyline become part of the whole. They really began to take hold however once I started matching them up with other writers’ characters. I think the first was matching up Winter’s daughter Rhiannon with Jen’s character Tobias. Then I created a rock star vampire named Carlisle. Along with Carlisle came some peripheral characters one of which was her assistant/manager Alexandria. I’m not sure exactly how it happened but Alexandria – Lex – has become my signature character.

Lex’s backstory is horrific and involves abandonment by her father, abuse by her mother, being orphaned, being mated, then a stint in a Nazi concentration camp where she was raped repeatedly in an effort to make her reveal what she is (a vamp), the death of her mate, years of wandering a post WWII Europe, starving and being abused. Then she’s found by Carlisle and her life changes for the better. Eventually, she meets Carlisle’s new brother-in-law Johann and tries to have a relationship with him.

Laurie, who writes Johann, wasn’t feeling Lex for her character so Jen mentioned she had a character, Johann’s cousin Alaric. She said Alaric had an intended mate but they weren’t sparking did I want to put Al and Lex together? What happened when I said sure became an explosion in the Bar story. Al and Lex blazed to the forefront of the story and so did Al’s jilted mate. Somewhere in all of that… Lex became my favorite character. She went from dying to a woman who has everything. She’s easy to like because obviously, she earned her happiness through all her suffering.

Well, Alaric and Alexandria had the first Bar wedding but by no means the last. Their story gave birth to the inclusion of the deities in a much bigger way in the story. They’ve proven that you can have your HEA (Happily Ever After) and still be a front burner in the story. And it doesn’t hurt that the model and actress chosen to physically represent them look so hot. They look so hot together you look at the Photoshop picture and wonder why they aren’t seeing each other in real life!

Yeah, I know. I live this stuff way, way too much. But the truth of the matter is that if you can’t do that, you can’t articulate these characters. I think the ones you “feel” the best are the ones who are written better, who become the characters readers like the most and identify with best. Lex gave in to her desires and made an effort to make things work out for herself. She gave up wallowing in self pity and hopelessness and took a hand in her own destiny. Alaric stopped drinking and made a conscious choice between his intended and a woman he felt in his heart he could love more than anyone else. They risked a lot… the wrath of friends and family… and they caused pain… to Alaric’s intended mate and to his cousin Johann … but in the end everyone and everything came out better for the two of them taking control of their fates. It was a happy ending that hasn’t ended. They have a series of happy endings every time they overcome some other bump on their road of life.

When I look at that Photoshop pic I wish real life were as easy as the writing often is because then I would write a scene where Marcus Schenkenberg falls for me. Heh. The man has the most beautiful chest on the planet and his hands are gorgeous. So I guess writing about Lex with a guy who looks like Marcus comes really easy for me. If I looked like Kelly Monaco, who represents Alexandria, I would be trying to find a way to put myself in Marcus’ path. LOL

The mechanics of writing – the grammar, the vocabulary, the structure – are easy to learn. They teach it to you in school. (Thank you Mrs. Hodgins!) The power and the majesty, as they say, that a writer imbues in the characters is all rather dependent upon how much you want to let these people live inside your head. I must have a lot of room in there because I’ve got a whole cast of characters living in that space!

Since I talked a little bit about Marcus Schenkenberg this time, maybe next time I’ll talk about how I came to be a skank, or rather the Skankenberg.

Laters peeps!