Save My Brain… Win A Prize!

My brain is overloaded and I am frustrated. I have been looking everywhere for the guy in this video. I saw an Air France commercial with a guy who looks like a skinny version of Marcus Schenkenberg. Shiny and I looked and looked for info on who the actor/model is. The longer I looked, the more tweaked I got. I HAVE to know who he is! In fact, I now need this info so badly, I’m willing to put up a prize for whoever can find out who this is, with proof that he’s the dude in the commercial. So posting in comments that it’s Joe Blow the model won’t cut it. Show me a link to a story with pics or a website, something, anything, that proves your submission is the correct dude. If you find the Marcus look alike you will win this prize: A lovely Bar t-shirt! Oooooh! It has fangs…

Here’s the video, your only clue:

Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, it’s time for a Tuesday tune. This band was popular in Southern California in the 80’s. They partied with all the best bands of the era, Motley Crue, Ratt, etc. The lead singer’s name is Jizzy Pearl. He used to have a website with webcams from every room in his house. LOL The people from the chatroom used to hang out in chat and watch Jizzy. It was hysterical some nights because he’d be falling down drunk and do weird shit. Mary, this should be one of your theme songs. I’m posting this for you, cause they say the F word every other line!

Now, for some eye candy for the women. Well, for Mary. This is a wallpaper. There is no pretty boy face to see here. Nuthin’ but carved male muscles… all grungy like, and so real you can smell the sweat. I have to say he doesn’t do much for me. I need a face with eyes that devour me. So all of you who, like Mary, enjoy an anonymous hard body that looks like it could take a licking and keep on ticking… click on this for the full size and download to your desktop.

One last note and then I have to go come up with a plausible excuse for begging off jury duty. Tuesday night I have a fluffy appointment. My hair has gotten so long I can tuck it into my pants in the back. The ends are ratty and stringy and not healthy. So I’m going to get it cut. If I’m feeling really brave, and let them talk me out of my hard earned dollars, I will get it colored too. If I do this and I like it, I’ll have the PITA take a pic of it for Wednesday’s blog. Thanks for reading!

Roaring Into Another Marcus Monday

Yes, it is Monday again. I’m almost glad that it’s Monday. This past weekend was a doozy. First up, here’s our Marcus picture for the week. Now, I know I went a little overboard with pics last week and Marcus was in every post I made. However, in my defense, the women all liked him, and the men didn’t pipe up and tell me to stick Marcus where the sun don’t shine. So this week, to keep we women moving forward in a positive manner, here is Marcus on a motorcycle. Such a manly pic. Almost as manly as the one where you can see the head of his um, you know, through the wet white swim trunks. Just thinking about that pic makes the day go better for me. Today’s pic just adds to the enjoyment.

Now that I am suitably sedated by Marcus, I’ll tell you my tale of weekend woe. I’m watching the giraffe purse on eBay, remember? The auction ends at 4:20 pm Pacific time. Well, at 12:30 I go out to the bank to pull out some lovely refund cash. I’m waiting in line watching this guy roll across the floor in his office chair. I start thinking about my 10 year old beat up office chair at home. Then I start thinking of how my back’s been out for several days, aided and abetted by the broken back on my desk chair. I decide to walk across the bank parking lot to Office Depot and get a new chair once I’ve made my withdrawal.

Turns out Office Depot is now closed. It’s moved to a new location. So I get in the car and head out to Staples. You’re thinking, what a boring set of errands. Why is she telling us this shit? Heh. Did I mention it was supposed to rain? Did I also mention that since I was only going to the bank and then home, and it wasn’t raining when I went out, I left the house in flip flops with no jacket? You’re laughing now. I can hear it.

At Staples, I get a chair for $50. Black leather even. Didn’t even take much time. The clerk rang it up, wheeled it out to my car, and wedged it in the backseat. That’s when my weekend turned to shit. I got in the car and it wouldn’t start. Fuck me. So I call my kid and tell her the car won’t start. I tell her I’m gonna wait a few minutes and try again. After all, the dumb thing’s been acting up a little recently. Twenty minutes later, still not starting. So my kid calls a couple friends to come and give me a jump.

The PITA and I are yakking about the eBay auction, and I’m eyeing the time with a jaundiced eye. 2:10. Not long after that Aaron and Ashley show up. Forty minutes later, after waiting for the car next to me to leave so Aaron can pull his Explorer up to the Intrepid, and after the kids have fumbled the jumper cable thing a couple of times, a nice Joe Citizen comes along and resets the cables, revs the Explorer’s RPMs up, and voila! My Intrepid fires right up.

Now it’s almost 3 pm. The PITA tells me not to come home. She says the smart thing to do while the car is running is to go replace the battery. I’m whining that I want to go home. Did I mention that all through the jumper cable thing, it was fucking pouring rain? It’s stopped at this point, so I look at my flip flops and sigh. I hate it when an 18 year old is right. So I drive to Pep Boys. It’s now twenty past 3, and the Pep Boys guy is telling me it’ll be an hour to an hour and a half before my car will be done.

I grit my teeth, start walking across the parking lot to Marie Callender’s, and pull out my cell phone. I give the PITA my username and password for eBay and have her pull up my watch list. The giraffe purse has less than an hour to go, and it’s still at the same price. I heave a sigh of relief, and go into the restaurant. Half an hour later, I’m picking at a Frisco burger and drinking coffee to get warm. My phone goes off. Text from the PITA. The purse is up to $223. Well, shit. At this point, it’s not really a bargain anymore. If I have to pay $5 more than the current bid, I might as well have bought a brand new set from Dooney and Bourke. I tell the PITA to forget it.

As I’m walking back across the parking lot at the same time the auction is ending, it starts to rain. No jacket. Wet slippery flip flops. Fuck me. I see my car being backed out of the bay as I approach. I pay and get in the car to drive home. When it fires up I find the silver lining to my cold, wet, miserable weekend. My car didn’t pass smog because of 1 single thing. The check engine light was on and no one knew why. I’d been resigned to spending a grand for the mechanic to trace the problem through the electrical system. When I started the car, the check engine light was off. It stayed off the whole way home. Fuck me again. But this time in a good way.

The PITA carried the office chair in for me and put it in front of my desk. I huddled in it, wearing my fleece jammies, trying to get warm, while I thought of that stupid $100 battery. There are times in life when you say, “I’ll be damned.” Sometimes you say it when it’s not really worth it. This time it really was.

Okay, the Marcus Awards for the past week shake down this way: Mary was a busy bitch and earned 5. Matt earned 4, but he gets an extra Marcus because he gave me a COW. Nicholas didn’t give me grief for being fluffy so he ended up with 5 as well. So 5 Marcuses each for Mary, Nicholas, and Matt. Jason from Gorilla Sushi admitted that his computer has the same name as mine! WOOT! I am not alone! Two Marcuses for Jason along with Shiny, Susan, and Mr. Fab. Our one Marcus award winners are: LadyRose, Darla, Karen, TwoPugs, Shawny, Tempest Knight, Denise, and Kaige. Feel free to post the Marcus on your blog!

BTW, did you realize yet that Marcus’ photo was taken on my bed? Heh heh. Where else would a Marcus belong? Have a happy Marcus Monday!

Confessions of a Secret Fluff

Twelve steps work for some people. I don’t think it would work for me. I mean, I don’t think anyone would take me seriously if I got up in front of the group and said, “Hi. My name is Winter and I’m secretly fluffy. I have an obsession with… designer handbags.” I am fluffy. Girlie. Googly eyed over some really feminine things. I never used to be like this. I used to be a much more hardy soul. As I get older though, I find myself liking some of these freakishly feminine things. Things that are distinctly… fluffy.

Now, I promise not to post my kid’s baby pics or give you a TT with 13 reasons why I love my old man, but c’mon. I’ve subjected you to my purple toes already! So you know I like to do the pedicure thing. Well, I’ve graduated. I now do the pedicure AND manicure thing. I even buy my own OPI polish so I’m not using the salon’s watered down stuff. I have a thing for OPI’s Russian Collection. Currently, my fingers have on Russian Navy and my toes have Affair in Red Square. I have Siberian Nights, Midnight in Moscow, and Catherine the Grape too. Manicures and pedicures are fluffy things. You do not give a shit about my manicure and pedicure, do you?

Well, I’m copping to the mani/pedi thing only as a preface to showing you how serious my illness truly is. I came home yesterday wiped out from more than 10 hours at the office without lunch and nary a break. I checked and lo and behold, my refund has hit the bank. CHA CHING. What did I, in my exhausted state, do? I went to eBay. I went to eBay and typed in 3 little words. DOONEY AND BOURKE. $86 and a matching star purse and wallet later, I left eBay and went to… uh huh, you guessed it… I checked out the price of the giraffe print purse I’ve been lusting over for months. I checked out a cool bracelet. I put them both in the shopping cart and almost had a coronary. The cart was almost $300 once tax and shipping was slapped on. Holy Handbags!

Okay, I saved the cart. I did not check out. That was the first non-fluffy thing I’d done since I got home, if you discount sitting in front of the computer in my underwear and a ratty Eddie Bauer t-shirt. I went back to eBay… and found that same giraffe print bucket purse WITH a matching wallet going for less than the price of the brand new giraffe print purse. I put in a bid and someone promptly topped me. After that, I put the item on watch. I’ve been watching since last night. The auction ends tomorrow. I have not yet decided to buy the purse. Even though it is used, if it goes for less than $200 it is a steal. So, I’m watching.

While I’m watching tonight, after yet another 10+ hour day with no lunch break, I find a Dooney bracelet. This one has charms on it… fucking PINK charms. Ooooh. The one in the cart at Dooney’s website doesn’t have charms and is $55 + Tax + Shipping. This one is less than $50, has free shipping and no tax. At 3 minutes left in the auction, I’m a click fiend. The bracelet is now mine.

So, do you think that has satisfied my girlish obsession for awhile? Nuh uh. I’m still watching the giraffe purse. I still lust after it more than I lust after Matt-Man’s knobby knees and tented boxers. I lust after it more than I lust after Marcus. *GASP* That is like the ultimate fluffy confession. That I want a giraffe print designer handbag more than Marcus Schenkenberg. I suppose it’s because the purse is attainable, and Marcus, to my everlasting dismay, is not.

I am mostly sardonic in nature, but deep inside me there is a fluffy feminine girl who buys designer purses, paints her toenails purple or red, loves getting a manicure and pedicure, and… wants a Tiffany padlock pendant. *sniff* I’m sorry. I know you all thought I was above that girlish squeeing behavior. Go ahead. Feel free to call me a poser. I feel like one. Take away my Dooney camera bag purse with the rainbow candy colored zipper. I deserve your scorn. Maybe I’ll make up for it by giving Mr. Fabulous a cleavage shot in a Frederick’s of Hollywood black satin corset to post for his cleavage contest. After all, no self respecting fluff, who adores Victoria’s Secret, would buy her corset at Frederick’s. I, however, wouldn’t think of buying it anywhere else but the last bastion of skanks and sluts. I guess there’s hope for me after all.

Thursday Thirteen The Fourth aka 13 Screws

I wish I could be as glam as Nicholas and come up with 13 famous people I’ve met. I might be able to because I have met a number of well known musicians like Henry Rollins and the guys from Poison. I don’t think being stepped on by a member of Marilyn Manson’s band counts. At any rate, I didn’t wanna think that hard today. With my back out, I am cranky and need to get blitzed, so I can’t think. So here is an easy list for me… Thirteen people I would screw if the opportunity arose. This is not in any preferential order. Just the order in which I thought of them…

Thirteen People I Would Do

1. Marcus Schenkenberg – Yeah, you are all thinking this is just another ploy of mine to get Marcus in my blog. HA! You’re only HALF right! The other half is the part where I tell you that looking at the man makes me have to change my panties. I don’t care what anyone else on the planet says about Marcus, I like to look at him. I wish I could touch him. I’d probably faint if I ever met him, but damn, he is the epitome of male beauty to me. I could stare at him all day long. Oh, wait! I do that already. He’s on my desktop. Heh.
2. Ian Somerhalder – He’s young, he’s hot. He looks like he’d be up for a threesome. He looks like he’d be up for a fun hour or three with an older woman. He looks like he would be up for anything and everything. There is not much to not like about the way this guy looks. His eyes scream sexuality.

3. Kelly Monaco – The one woman on my list. Her body gives me the shivers. She has the most awesome set of boobage. I dunno, I’m not into women, but her naked pictures slay me. I think she’s hotter than hot. I wish I could post a naked pic of her here. Then you would have a better idea of what I’m drooling over. I have this pic of her in a fur hat in the snow… yowza. You know what the cold does to naked women’s boobage, don’t ya? Uh, huh. It’s a niiiiice pic. *shivers*

4. Andrei Andrei – This guy reminds me of a guy from my past. He seems like a pretty nice guy too. His blog posts are interesting. His English is pretty good and he’s the reason I’m actually blogging. I started commenting on his blog and then I got this idea for a story… and the rest is history. Andrei is also really nice eye candy. I have to admit to having a preference for the videos he’s been in rather than the still photos of him.

5. Paul Diaz – The guy from my past. I guess a part of me never got over him. I wish I knew where he was and how he was doing, even if I didn’t get the chance to screw him again. LOL He was certainly one of a kind and I always had fun with him. We would finish each other’s sentences, which felt really odd at the time, but is something I’ve come to realize is not the way things usually are between two people. Oh, well. Searching the net for him has turned up absolutely nothing, but I suppose it’s better that way, eh?

6. Victor Webster – Now this is one that’s really different. I’ve seen pics of Vic with hair on his chest and pics without. Without hair, Vic doesn’t ring my bells too much. With hair… oh, baby! I’ve never been much of a hairy chest girl either. The only men I’ve ever thought were attractive with a hairy chest are Tom Selleck and Rott. And now Vic. This is my all time favorite pic of Victor. The hair on his rock hard chest… the look in his eyes… Help me, I’m meltiiiiinnnngggggg…

7. Anderson Cooper – Yeah, I’d screw him. Even more than that, I’d wanna have dinner with him and talk all freaking night. The man is smart and funny, and he just totally rattles my cage. I’d want to hang out with him endlessly. He’s pretty decent eye candy although he doesn’t think he’s very attractive. I know there has to be a ton of people out there of both sexes who think Anderson’s got it going on. What’s really funny is that I would totally screw him, just to get to talk to him! LOL

8. Andre Coelho – His eyes completely turn me to mush. Yeah, he’s hot, but it’s the look in his eyes that makes my knees wobble. These Brazilian models have really got the sexuality thing happening. They all look into the camera like they are in lust. Maybe they are. Maybe they come from poor backgrounds so the money they make as models totally gets them hot. Whatever it is… they need to keep on doing it. I had the hardest time picking a photo of Andre cause they are all luscious…

9. Nikki Sixx – Nikki is so totally uninhibited sexually that he’s pretty much the only man older than me that I would ever seriously consider having sex with. There’s an intensity about him that just reaches out and grabs me. He doesn’t do anything by halves. I would think that translates to a sexual experience beyond compare. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve always been into his music and thought he was cute. My crush on him just got worse when I read his book.

10. Raffaelo Balzo – An Italian actor with a smile that just lights me up. All the pictures of him smiling are the ones I like best. He looks like he would be up for anything. There’s just a total joy of life in his smile that lights up his whole face. Okay, it doesn’t hurt that his body is incredibly hot. I’ve had this guy on my desktop with his shirt off, lying in the surf… he’s made for wallpaper. My wallpaper. LOL

11. Tommy Lee – No, it’s not about his fire hose. Geez. I’m not really a size girl at all. Bigger isn’t necessarily better for me. Tommy is one of those guys who doesn’t care so much about whether a girl is tall or short, fat or thin. I know, I know. He’s been with a bunch of hot babes. But read The Dirt and Tommyland and you’ll find that he’s also had a string of ugly girlfriends. He also doesn’t mind if a girl is overweight. I keep thinking I’ll buy a gardenia scented perfume just to have on hand in case I ever meet him because he said in Tommyland he loves the scent. He said gardenias make him horny and he’d do any woman wearing that scent.

12. Dermot Mulroney – Another one with intense eyes. I also like the sound of his voice. I bought the Wedding Date just because of him. I can’t stand Debra Messing and the neurotic characters she always plays. But Dermot… oh man, I put up with Messing to have Dermot. He’s especially good in that movie too. No, not the part where his backside was naked, although that was an especially good part. He’s intense, sensual, perfect. Abso-fucking-lutely perfect. Rawr. I so envy Catherine Keener…

13. Darrie from Scotland – The skanks who read my blog know who he is, but the rest of you don’t. Darrie is half my age, flirts with me and makes me feel good because he’s nice to me. His girlfriend is hot too and she’s the nicest person ever, so of course I would never actually screw Darrie if he showed up on my doorstep. Wouldn’t try, wouldn’t do it if he offered. But, if there was no Nik (his GF) and no Rott (my BF) and no reason NOT to do it, and he wanted to… I’d do him. Just because he’s sweet. Okay, maybe a little cause he’s hot.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

And there you have it. 13 people I would screw if the right opportunity presented itself. I must be getting old. I never used to have these kinds of fantasies when I was younger. I was too busy being a slut to dream about having sex with hotties. Happy TT everyone!

Freaky Pictures in My Documents

I tried to find something in My Documents this morning. At the office, I am the whiz at finding things on the network. Multiple drives and users… I can find it. At home, I get a little lost. Well, not lost really. More like confused. I’m looking in my Pictures folder and the collection of stuff in there astounds me. Where did all this freaky stuff come from? Here’s a selection of what met my eye when I tried to find a new wallpaper this morning.

This is my kid on the phone. This pic is about 3 years old. She’d just gotten her hair done for Winter Formal. She was on her dad’s cell talking to her dad’s grandma in Florida. Winter Formal was a big thing so the PITA had to tell GM all about it. Note the shirt. I love it. Have a nice day. Dump your boyfriend. She doesn’t wear that shirt anymore. *sigh* She’s had a boyfriend, Invincible Morrison, for over a year now. I like the kid. He’s a throwback to the 70’s I swear. But he’s good hearted and sweet and cool. Can’t ask for a nicer boyfriend. Especially, when my kid’s had some freaks for boyfriends.

This was taken from my cell phone when I was trying to get out my driveway after a big Santa Ana windstorm. A tree had lost multiple big branches and blocked the street. Someone who had come before me had pulled some of the branches over to the dumpster, but there were still some in the road, and between the parked cars. The odd thing was, none of the trees at work went down. The cemetery is designated an arborteum because of the number and variety of trees we have. Usually, a big windstorm brings down at least one tree or lots of big branches. Not this time. That was a first in my 8 years there.

This is Naomi. She’s the PITA’s best friend. She bought a neon light. This picture made Shiny squee. I hate squeeing, but I knew the sign would make Shiny squee so I was braced for it. Both Naomi and Shiny are in love with Avenged Sevenfold. I like them. I would not squee for them, however. I would squee for Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx.

This is from Tommy’s Monday Mayhem newsletter that I get because last year I signed up for about 5 years on his website just to get the goodies. I have yet to receive the hoodie with the horns and it’s been a year. I am not receiving any replies to messages I have sent regarding this. If anyone has any clue how I can get my hoodie after a year of being be given excuses or being ignored, please do clue me in. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t squee over Tommy. I’m fucking pissed about the hoodie. I want that hoodie! Give it up people at! I paid you over a hundred freaking dollars for stuff! I want my HOODIE!!

I do have this nice pic of Nikki in my Pictures folder though. I’d still squee for him. Internally. I don’t think I have it in me to do it out loud. He makes my heart go much faster than a stairmaster would. I read his book The Heroin Diaries and I have to say that the man is a genius. An addicted genius, but he’s hot too so… Squeeee! I dunno. I’ve just always had a thing for him. He has no problem telling all the secrets of his life to the public. Kinda like me and this blog. Only I never ate out a girl on her period and walked back to my apartment looking like an axe murderer. LOL

These are my toes. I used to only use red polish on my toes. I tried purple once and really liked it. So I posted this pic at Zanctuary’s message board, knowing full well that Darrie (the guy who owns the board) HATES feet. We put a big ass message on there warning him of toe pictures. What does Darrie do? Look at the feet and run screaming from the thread. We warned him, but apparently he cannot help himself sometimes. He must look at things he was told not to.

This is the green machine. I built it in September. Damn. I was afraid I couldn’t do it. I mean, for 9 years Rott has been the computer builder in the family. Since he’s away currently, I had to do this myself. I was shitting bricks all weekend, but I took my time and tried not to freak out and VOILA! I am typing to you now, courtesy of the Green Machine.

That’s the bra I wear to work. I passed this picture out in the horse racing sim’s chatroom. OMG. I think I caused a stampede or a riot or something. For chrissakes! It’s a BRA. Not boobage! You can’t see a nipple at all. Well, maybe the shadow of one. I’m not sure. It’s a blurry cell pic. But still. C’mon, guys. It’s a BRA. Sheesh.

This is where I live. The general area. I made this because of the Libertine. He showed the exit on the freeway near where he lives. So I Google Earthed myself. I have a buttload of other freaky pics in my folder that kept me from finding a new wallpaper. There’s a pic of my kid’s high heeled sneakers. A pic of my Dooney purse and accessories. Pics of the monsters. A pic of Jen’s cheerleaders (awesome boobage for those of you who do not know Jen.) A pic of a goat. Well, the goat pic is for Shiny. I have a pic of Shiny in that folder too. The goat is freaky. Shiny isn’t. According to Darrie, Shiny is hot. I just wuvs her cuz she thinks I’m awesome.

Happy Hump Day peeps! If you beg nicely. I’ll post more freaky pics from my folder!