Ass Kisser

Can you guess who the ass kisser is? Me, of course! I made good on my promise and made Fab a Liz Phair page called “I Love Fab”. See it up there with the other pages? It has Liz music and Liz pics. I think it’s safe to say that Fab likes that page.

So I totally kissed Fab’s ass, but I had a reason. I have been waiting for this Sunday FOREVER. I practiced at Snackie Radio. I honed my skill at simultaneous chatroom and phone convos at The Jester Show. Now, I get to SHINE on Pointless Drivel Live. Um, I may still not be able to do chatroom and phone simultaneously though. It’s all the fault of my piercings. See they scratch the screen on my cell phone so I can only hold the phone to my right ear and since I’m right handed I can’t really type in the chatroom and the phone’s really small, the size of an egg really… ummn… yeah. I’m kinda not good at being on BTR shows and chatting in the chatroom at the same time. I guess I need a Blackberry or a Treo or Skype or something. My Samsung Stripe is clearly not cutting it in the Blogosphere.

Well, it’s here… the day that I am to be on Mr. Fabulous’ BTR show, Pointless Drivel Live. This is a very special day for me. For one, I’ve been waiting patiently for my turn on this prestigious show. For another, I can’t fucking get to Fab’s website anymore and I’m missing all the comments and fun. I’ve been deprived since Friday. (I saw the anal sex picture Thursday night, but couldn’t on Friday morning.) I get a white screen with “done” at the bottom. I’ve cleaned every fricking thing on my machine. I’ve defragged and updated and scanned and I even downloaded Safari for Windows. No Fab. Except in Feed Demon. But that means I can’t leave my scintillating and long winded comments! GRRRRR.

Now, using Safari to try to get to was an interesting thing. Safari doesn’t give me his site, but it does give me an error: Safari can’t open the page “”. The error was: “unknown error” (CFURLErrorDomain:302). Googling that error got me nowhere too. I’m gonna email the error to my tech and ask nicely if he can tell me what the hell happened and how I can get back to one of my favorite places on the net. If someone else knows the answer to this dilemma please email me at winter at winterheart dot com. (I’ve tried accessing his site with Firefox, SeaMonkey 1.1.9, IE7, and Safari for Windows. I’m on XP SP3 with an AMD Sempron 3400+ with 1 GB of RAM and I have Time Warner broadband. And yeah. I know I need another GB of memory.)

My ass kissing will be in full force at 4 pm Pacific/7 pm Eastern time. Here is the link to Pointless Drivel Live. Be there or be… dead. HEH.

Also, don’t forget to listen to the rest of the Rocking Sunday Radio Talk Block:

Secondhand Karl at 2 pm Pacific/5 pm Eastern with Blogography’s Dave 2. Then it’s Snackie Radio at 3pm/6pm with Pointless Drivel’s Mr. Fabulous, and after Fab’s show it’s Turnbaby Talks 5pm/8pm with a discussion about women. All absolutely riveting shows that YOU should NOT miss!

Happy Three Day Weekend Sunday to those of you who are off tomorrow!

Humpday Hotness

I grossed out my teen. I told her I got Snitter for my Twitter. She thought I was talking dirty. “Ewww! Mom! TMI!” I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m more techie than my kid. In this day and age, that is saying something. Sure, she can out-text me, but I can spend $200 and get on the internet without having to buy a computer that some guy named DELL made. HA! Take that, teenager! Let me see you BYOMM! (Build Your Own Monster Machine.)

Since it is humpday, and I’m still entering my freaking horses for Derby Fever, I give you humpday hotness. First up is Liz Hurley. I heard Dave likes her. I like her too. She is pretty damned gorgeous. If I was a man she would give me a woody. I’m not a man and she almost does it for me. Dave has good taste. Oh, and the hotness that is Dave will be on The Jester Show tonight, talking while under the influence of drugs.

You know, all women should be allowed to grow old the Liz Hurley way. Think of how happy and peaceful the world would be if we all grew old in a beautiful way. We would all be too busy boinking each other to fight… Well, we should all be too busy boinking each other anyway. Nothing like sex for making you too tired to fight. Oh, Liz. You should be the head of NATO. Really.

Next up is the very yummy Brazilian Alexandre Verga. What is it with Brazilians? In this pic, Alex totally looks like he’s telling me he’s gonna get nekkid for me. ALL the Brazilian models look out of their pics like that. They have a market on the come hither and let me boink you look.

Alex and his brother Rafael cause much drooling among the female population of the world. Who would have thought two brothers could cause so many heart attacks. I mean, seriously, they are more likely to give you a coronary than a steady diet of Big Macs. I think Alex is the big brother. And if Rafe is the “little” brother, I really wanna find those pics where Alex bares all. Cause, ya know, I’ve seen Rafe naked. It almost melted my monitor. No telling what kind of damage naked Alex pics would cause. It might be worth it too. Naked Alex… the cost of a new monitor. Hmmmn. I wonder if I could work that in as a tax deduction somehow. I prolly could. As an IT person, all my computer stuff should be a deduction. Heh.

One last thing before I take off to try to finish entering some horses. I keep seeing this 100 things stuff everywhere. I keep wondering if I should try it. Then I think… no way. I already tell you peeps way too much about who I am. However, I think I shall start opening myself up more. Starting next Wednesday, if anyone sends me a personal question or two, I shall answer them when I post Humpday Hotties. My email addy is winter at winterheart dot com. Enjoy the gorgeous flesh and I hope your Wednesday is full of humping!

Freaky Pictures in My Documents

I tried to find something in My Documents this morning. At the office, I am the whiz at finding things on the network. Multiple drives and users… I can find it. At home, I get a little lost. Well, not lost really. More like confused. I’m looking in my Pictures folder and the collection of stuff in there astounds me. Where did all this freaky stuff come from? Here’s a selection of what met my eye when I tried to find a new wallpaper this morning.

This is my kid on the phone. This pic is about 3 years old. She’d just gotten her hair done for Winter Formal. She was on her dad’s cell talking to her dad’s grandma in Florida. Winter Formal was a big thing so the PITA had to tell GM all about it. Note the shirt. I love it. Have a nice day. Dump your boyfriend. She doesn’t wear that shirt anymore. *sigh* She’s had a boyfriend, Invincible Morrison, for over a year now. I like the kid. He’s a throwback to the 70’s I swear. But he’s good hearted and sweet and cool. Can’t ask for a nicer boyfriend. Especially, when my kid’s had some freaks for boyfriends.

This was taken from my cell phone when I was trying to get out my driveway after a big Santa Ana windstorm. A tree had lost multiple big branches and blocked the street. Someone who had come before me had pulled some of the branches over to the dumpster, but there were still some in the road, and between the parked cars. The odd thing was, none of the trees at work went down. The cemetery is designated an arborteum because of the number and variety of trees we have. Usually, a big windstorm brings down at least one tree or lots of big branches. Not this time. That was a first in my 8 years there.

This is Naomi. She’s the PITA’s best friend. She bought a neon light. This picture made Shiny squee. I hate squeeing, but I knew the sign would make Shiny squee so I was braced for it. Both Naomi and Shiny are in love with Avenged Sevenfold. I like them. I would not squee for them, however. I would squee for Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx.

This is from Tommy’s Monday Mayhem newsletter that I get because last year I signed up for about 5 years on his website just to get the goodies. I have yet to receive the hoodie with the horns and it’s been a year. I am not receiving any replies to messages I have sent regarding this. If anyone has any clue how I can get my hoodie after a year of being be given excuses or being ignored, please do clue me in. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t squee over Tommy. I’m fucking pissed about the hoodie. I want that hoodie! Give it up people at! I paid you over a hundred freaking dollars for stuff! I want my HOODIE!!

I do have this nice pic of Nikki in my Pictures folder though. I’d still squee for him. Internally. I don’t think I have it in me to do it out loud. He makes my heart go much faster than a stairmaster would. I read his book The Heroin Diaries and I have to say that the man is a genius. An addicted genius, but he’s hot too so… Squeeee! I dunno. I’ve just always had a thing for him. He has no problem telling all the secrets of his life to the public. Kinda like me and this blog. Only I never ate out a girl on her period and walked back to my apartment looking like an axe murderer. LOL

These are my toes. I used to only use red polish on my toes. I tried purple once and really liked it. So I posted this pic at Zanctuary’s message board, knowing full well that Darrie (the guy who owns the board) HATES feet. We put a big ass message on there warning him of toe pictures. What does Darrie do? Look at the feet and run screaming from the thread. We warned him, but apparently he cannot help himself sometimes. He must look at things he was told not to.

This is the green machine. I built it in September. Damn. I was afraid I couldn’t do it. I mean, for 9 years Rott has been the computer builder in the family. Since he’s away currently, I had to do this myself. I was shitting bricks all weekend, but I took my time and tried not to freak out and VOILA! I am typing to you now, courtesy of the Green Machine.

That’s the bra I wear to work. I passed this picture out in the horse racing sim’s chatroom. OMG. I think I caused a stampede or a riot or something. For chrissakes! It’s a BRA. Not boobage! You can’t see a nipple at all. Well, maybe the shadow of one. I’m not sure. It’s a blurry cell pic. But still. C’mon, guys. It’s a BRA. Sheesh.

This is where I live. The general area. I made this because of the Libertine. He showed the exit on the freeway near where he lives. So I Google Earthed myself. I have a buttload of other freaky pics in my folder that kept me from finding a new wallpaper. There’s a pic of my kid’s high heeled sneakers. A pic of my Dooney purse and accessories. Pics of the monsters. A pic of Jen’s cheerleaders (awesome boobage for those of you who do not know Jen.) A pic of a goat. Well, the goat pic is for Shiny. I have a pic of Shiny in that folder too. The goat is freaky. Shiny isn’t. According to Darrie, Shiny is hot. I just wuvs her cuz she thinks I’m awesome.

Happy Hump Day peeps! If you beg nicely. I’ll post more freaky pics from my folder!