Bittersweet Symphony

‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You’re a slave to money then you die
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
Where all the veins meet yeah

I love that song by the Verve. They were kind of a one hit wonder with it, don’t you think? The lyrics are pretty true though for someone like me who lives paycheck to paycheck and is ever at the mercy of a landlord. I have a week’s reprieve. We’ll see how things go next weekend. Meanwhile, the lyrics still hold true. Until the cost of living is more manageable or I get some kinda huge promotion or raise (yeah, right) those lyrics are my life.

All I really want out of the stupid ass politicians is some kind of overhaul of the income tax system. It’s just not fair when I have to pay the same amount of taxes as a person who makes the same amount of money as I do, but who lives in bum fuck South Dakota where the cost of living is half what I have to pay. Not just rent but gas, utilities, food… everything. That person is living well with enough money to have a savings account. I’m struggling to pay the bills. And yet I have to pay the same amount of taxes as bum fuck SD. Sure, I don’t have to live in CA, but neither does bum fuck have to live in SD. All I’m saying is that the cost of living should be taken into account. Either that or the government should regulate it all so it costs the same for everyone everywhere. Pffft. That would take care of a chunk of haves and have nots, wouldn’t it? LOL

Yeah, yeah. I oversimplified and I forgot this index or that theory. Whatever. Things are just not equal or fair in this country and that’s not what the founding fathers wanted. I don’t really wanna get into the politics of stuff. It’s not me. I’m basically just disillusioned with it all anyway. I don’t really care who wins the election because I’m pretty sure it’s all gonna stay the same for me and my wallet and bills.

So, back to the Verve. I made a video for The Bar. It’s pretty cool and it uses that song so I’ll toss it on here in a minute. I got into a discussion on one of the author loops last night about copyrights. I tossed in a few cents because people at the Bar have taken to slapping a copyright onto the end of their posts. A couple of people do it. Me? Not a chance. I do have that URL registered with Numly which then generates an ESN number for me with my name for anything I post, but I don’t bother to slap the copyright onto every post. Why? It’s not really necessary for one. The Bar is a closed forum. No one can get there but a registered member. If there’s thievery happening it’s because we let someone in who wasn’t honest. As for the other Bar members worrying that I’ll steal their stuff so I can get published… if that’s what they think, I can take my characters and go home. All they have to do is say so, and I’ll write every one of my characters off the story. I think the other writers are all smart enough to know that. Although if they’re worried about me stealing their stuff, then maybe they aren’t that smart after all.

Ok, enough bad juju stuffs. Here’s a Marcus and then I’ll post the Bar video. Oooh, that Marcus. He should be on the cover of all the hot books. Oh, yeah. I don’t know what the hell that is he’s wearing here, but he’s just sizzling.

And now, here’s the Bar video. Marcus is in this one too!

If anyone is interesting in reading the Bar story email me at winter at winterheart dot com. Have a great Monday!

Is It Friday Yet?

I have some things to blog about, but I’m a little fuzzy headed so I’m sure I’m gonna forget some of em. Actually, Vixen gave me a Beacon of Light award, which I’m gonna talk about another time. That is a warm and fuzzy thing and what I’m gonna talk about isn’t all warm and fuzzy. I’m a little tired. Okay, a lot tired. My mattress is popped again so between that and other things, I’ve not been sleeping more than a couple of hours a night. I’m giddy from lack of sleep so after I blog I’m heading to bed.

First off, I have to say that reading 3 days worth of blogs in my feed reader upset me. You see, I’ve seen a few blog posts across the PRB about friends treating friends like enemies or worse. The people that I know who are blogging about these things are not pointing fingers. They aren’t placing blame. They aren’t being vindictive. (Oy. I almost said the C word. Told you I was tired.) Yet, the people on the other side of the disagreement or break up are doing or saying things that make the people I know, feel bad.  Do you know how that makes me feel, tired though I am? Like an angry fucking lion. No wait. I need something meaner… Like an angry fucking teenage girl! Yeah, that’s more like it.

I have yet to find the reason why one person would stab another figuratively in the back. It’s got nothing to do with Darwin, or the survival of the fittest, or anything remotely related to anthropology be it biological or cultural. I just wanna yell at people “Whya gotta be so mean?” I’ve had my mean moments, everyone has. However, when people attack someone who was once their friend, the sting is harsher. The cut deeper. We trusted these people once.

However, instead of doubting yourself or feeling bad about the break, choose to put it behind you and move on. Dwelling on things that suck the positive energy out of you is not a good thing. I’ve said before that I jettison people that do that to me. I can’t live like that anymore. It stifles my creativity. It shackles my heart. And it plays merry hell with getting laid. So don’t do it. Believe me, when you get to my age and you realize there were so many more things you managed to do and be because you chose to rid yourself of negative people, you’ll wanna thank me.

Next, is a return to my rant on common courtesy. People do things against the people who were their friends because they are egocentric and lack common courtesy. Maybe you never heard them lack it when you were friends, but the sentiment that says it’s okay to stab someone in the back is the same one that drives people to ignore common courtesy.  I just don’t get how people can not care about this. When you lack common courtesy no matter how gorgeous you are physically… you’re ugly to me.

Ack. I think I’m too tired to make sense and I’ve lost my point somewhere. Oh, wait, it’s this: When friends bust up and one talks shit, it doesn’t matter if the bust up was half your fault or all your fault… at that point, it’s all their fault. That’s my point. Is it Friday yet? I’m tired…

Since I’m about to pass out, here’s some programming notes:

If you haven’t been to please stop by. I have video trailers, a downloadable story, a blog about writing, and more. Oh, and The Divine Madness gave me permission to use their song, so the trailer on the front of Lex Valentine is final. Show me some love so I can get back to writing and make one of these open call deadlines. On a related note regarding the vids, I’m on the hunt for free or low cost stock images of people kissing, embracing, in lingerie, shirtless, anything that could invoke the notion of hot sex and/or love. I’m gonna email a few musicians to see if I can secure their permission to use their songs so I can make ‘official’ vids for my stories. I’m not hopeful, but you never know.

Next, since I didn’t post yesterday, Happy Belated Birthday to Karl! We loves Karl much here at Sunlight Sucks, so please stop by his blog and see his birthday dares.

October is a big month here. After all, my birthday is on Halloween, I write vampire characters, and I work at the cemetery. There is no other time of the year that you will find this blog dressed in anything except it’s usual colors. However, in October, we will go dark. You’ll see in a couple of weeks. It will stay dark until Nov. 2, the day after Avitable’s party.

I had to change the Bar’s URL and remove the link to register with. I was tired of getting a dozen spammers every couple of hours. It’s inconvenient and it’s annoying. Even after I removed the link to register with, they were still registering their bogus names so I took drastic measures and added a word to the URL.

Work is exhausting me. Mostly, it’s the people not the work itself. I can’t seem to find a measure of peace there.  The distractions are just driving me nuts.  Somehow I’ll survive this. I’ve done it before so I’m crossing my fingers that it will work itself out.

Okay, that’s enough from me. I’m too tired to make any sense anymore. Have a great Friday and I’ll see you over the weekend, either here or at Lex Valentine.

Menage a Meh

This is a rant about writing. Not my writing, but other people’s writing. It’s not about one author in particular either. This is something I’ve seen a number of writers do. You see, I have a slew of books about menages. Two guys sharing one girl and sometimes the guys are into each other too. My problem is that no matter how you slice it or dice it, the emotions of the characters in a threesome always seem to be the same.

Typically, in these books, you have one guy who is more dominant than the other. You have a woman who is kinda submissive (or downtrodden or unsure of herself, you get the picture). The woman is always drawn more to one man than the other. One of the men is always more drawn to the other guy than the girl (or some variation on that.) The sex scenes are always hot. I can’t find fault with that, but it’s those characters! Gah!

First of all, I don’t think a woman has to be all that cutesy and submissive to be in a menage. I’d rather see the woman in the threesome be a spunky, snarky, professional woman who could kick both the men’s asses. (A Hellohahanarf, for example.) I guess I don’t connect well to the sweet and deferring type. As for the men, why does one have to seem more “gay” than the other – meaning more into the other man than the woman? After a half dozen of these books where the elements are sorta similar, I’ve found that no matter how much I like the hot sex scenes, by the end of the book, I’m skimming because their dialog (and where the story is going) sets my teeth on edge.

I know what you’re thinking right about now. You’re laughing at me thinking, “Bitch, just write it yourself!” Okay, maybe I will someday. But that doesn’t mean that perhaps authors need to try a different tack when writing this genre. Personally, I’d like to see the spunky, snarky heroine take on a business colleague. They discover they’re both hedonists who’ve had multiple partners in the past. They aren’t looking for a relationship as in move in together and live HEA. They’re looking for a sexual relationship that isn’t a one nighter. Somewhere at the start of their sexual relationship, they meet a guy… oh, maybe an athlete of some kind. Someone who at first glance isn’t cerebral like them. He joins them…

I want to see it be all about how the two hedonists take this guy who’s always been straight and turn him into a hedonist too. Three strong characters. No mushy ass love story. No submissive anything… well, except maybe some sex play with restraints. Characters who are hot, sexy, intelligent, strong, and amusing. Equals in every way.

Gah. Maybe it’s the mushy stuff that just doesn’t translate well in a menage for me. I never see menages as being about love. I see them as being about sex. So I guess that’s where they fall down for me. The last menage I read was smoking hot… but by the end I was saying MEH because all the mushy stuff kinda turned down the heat to uh, nonexistent.

I suppose this is why I write. I read something that doesn’t satisfy me so I have to make my own. Even at the Bar, there are some characters whose HEA I can’t leave alone. In last night’s Lex post, at the end, she’s slipping her hands into the back of Alaric’s jeans so she can grab his ass. She rubbing the zipper on those jeans until his dick is hard. I have those two constantly fucking. Just because they’re happy now doesn’t mean the sex stops. For them, nothing much stops them from doing it. Yeah, yeah. They say “I love you”, but in their post last night it was more like “I loooooooooooove you” and “Yeah, I fucking loooooooove you too.” Not mushy. Amusing. Definitely, not sweet enough to set your teeth on edge. I like that a whole lot better.

Have a happy not too sweet humpday!

That Does It

Yep. That does it. The Comic Curmudgeon or whatever his name is, has like a bazillion votes on the Hot Blogger Calendar. And Wil Wheaton? He’s a celebrity. He’s already in calendars. I’ve decided fuck it. I’m gonna make my own calendar at Cafepress. Motley is May. And I want all the hot gays in it. And Hilly. And Dave. And Karl. I want all the cool people who are so very beautiful to ME in it. The people who are not about the votes, but are about all the other things in life that are important.

I’m opening up my Photoshop as soon as I get home from work tonight. A 2009 Better Than Hot Blogger Calendar. Yeah. That’s it right THERE.

No chocolate pudding photo. I misunderstood Dave. When he said he wanted chocolate pudding and hot pirate wench photos… I thought he meant chocolate pudding photos and hot pirate wench photos. He just wants to eat pudding and look at hot wenches. Semantics. They’ll kill ya everytime. Or at least make it so that you put your foot in your mouth via Flickr photos.

Happy long weekend starts at 5 pm Friday!


First of all, let me thank Hilly for letting me guest post at her site yesterday. It was a lot of fun and the Cupcake Girls photo amused me all day! Also, I found Certifiable Princess’ comment so funny I had to check out her blog. And I totally laughed my ass off. She’s a lot like my bitch Mary, so I put her in my feedreader and on my blog roll.

It’s Monday and I feel short on time. I’m sitting here in my towel trying to put together a Marcus Monday post for you and I’m running late. It’s been unbearably hot in my house. I’m not sleeping well. In fact, I’m all out of sorts this morning because I didn’t hear the alarm when it went off at 6. I heard it when it went off again at 6:15, which totally threw me into one of those “moods”. I don’t sleep very soundly so I usually am awake by the time the alarm goes off. I went to sleep so late, and slept so poorly that when I did hit the zone, it was early morning and I missed the alarm by 15 minutes. Have I said I hate being late?

Now, I feel off kilter. I dislike that too. I’m sure I won’t stop feeling panicked until I’m at my desk at the office sucking down Starbucks Caffe Verona. Thank god for a nice dark blend of coffee. At any rate, I don’t remember what I was gonna talk about this morning or which picture I was going to use. Maybe I was gonna tell you all how Jen the Redneck Romance Writer has been encouraging me lately. The woman is amazing. She’s a great cheerleader. She got me to sign up for this Yahoo group of authors from Liquid Silver Books. They were tossing out hot book excerpts most of Sunday.

For some reason, this was like a burr under my saddle. All day, I kept thinking, I can do that! So I went to Liquid Silver and looked at their submission guidelines, and pulled out that freaky dream I had that ended with little red monsters… and I started working it into a piece for their Quick Silver line. The hero has a pussy sounding name, but the heroine’s name is… Jen. HEH.

Oh, yeah. I remembered what I was gonna write about! All those excerpts were from published or about to be published authors. Then there were two excerpts that shocked me to the core. The woman who posted them acted like she was just like any of the other authors there. However, the quality of the excerpts was so far below the others that I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

The writing had bad grammar. It had bad punctuation. It had no capital letters. The excerpt was written badly too. I kept thinking to myself, “rough draft” just to give the writer the benefit of the doubt. Then I checked out her website (not a real website but one of those popular places where you have friends and post stuff) and found a post of hers where she said she’d submitted this work to a bunch of publishers and one was interested. Now, I really had to go rinse my mouth out.

To say I was shocked is pretty mild. I mean, we have Bar writers who write in the same unpolished style as this woman, but at least they know when to use a capital letter! I think I got a little pissed. How could a publisher be interested in something that was so poorly put together that I had difficulty following it? It read like someone was on the phone gossiping to a girlfriend!

In the end, I just figured that the woman was blithely spinning along acting as if she was one of the authors in the group, when she wasn’t yet published, and that everyone was sort of ignoring her and her bad writing to be polite. I mean, I hadn’t seen anyone reply to her the way they had to the published authors. So I ended up feeling sorry for her. I wouldn’t have had the balls to post an excerpt from the Bar in a group where the excerpts were supposed to come from published authors. Some people are just oblivious, I guess. It just ended up being a surreal thing.

Anyhoo, here’s a Marcus to enliven your Monday if you’re female or gay. You straight guys may have to wait until Wednesday for some heat. I think I have a naked Keeley Hazell in my photo collection for you. Hmmmn.

Oh, yeah. In anticipation of me getting my shit together with this writing thing, I updated to look more like an author site. *sigh* Yeah, I’m gonna do this. How can I not with such great cheerleaders as the Bar writers, Susan from West of Mars, and Jen in my corner?

Have a great Monday!