Shed Some Light

Rott had some store credit at Home Depot so yesterday he got me a new desk lamp. It’s a cute thing with a tulip shaped shade made of plastic so if the babies knock it off, it’s not gonna shatter. When I turned it on, I was shocked at how dusty my desk was. All that dirt hidden by a lack of light. Ew. Time for Motley to do some Swiffering and cleaning with antibacterial wipes.

Love the lamp though. I was working on a book trailer video for author Melissa Mayhue and the light just made all the difference when working late at night. My eyes weren’t straining and I wasn’t getting tired as quickly. That Rott can sometimes be a very smart man. I’m just really glad he got me the lamp.

In the last week, I’ve become a lot more hopeful about life in general. I will be the first to admit that I can be pretty cynical about people and the world we live in, but sometimes things happen that change your view. So last week someone did something incredibly nice for me. Like unbelievably nice. The kind of nice that I have not seen in many, many years. You know who you are. You know what you did and I owe you the hugest hug ever if we ever meet.

Having my faith somewhat restored in humanity helped make a lot of things a lot less of a chore and I felt very productive this weekend. Did some cover art and romance trading cards for clients. Finished Melissa’s trailer. Did some more work on my trailers for GayRomLit. And I had some nice fan mail. Not just about my work in general, but specifically about Scrambling and Ride the Lightning. I love fan mail. It’s one of the reasons I keep writing.

In other news, I’ll be guest blogging in support of Scrambling at KT Grant’s on Thursday. On Saturday, I’ll be at the OCC RWA chapter’s birthday bash. It’s a really nice meeting and luncheon at the Embassy Suites. On Sunday, I’ll be blogging for the chapter on cover art at the Slice of Orange blog. The following week I will be off to New Mexico with James Buchanan for GayRomLit but I’ll still have some guest blog posts going up – Louisa Bacio’s on the 16th and HC Brown’s on the 18th. And we welcomed some new authors over at Flirty Author Bitches so make sure you check them out soon.

Anyway, I’m rushing to try to make some money so I can get my promo materials for GayRomLit. So far, not many bites. I may have to go to NM with very little in the way of “swag.” I had a lot of ideas for inexpensive stuff, but life kinda put the kabosh on it all. I have to print my scrapbook pages (on purple paper) and dig out what little leftover swag I have from last year and pray that maybe I’ll get a couple of commissions so I can order my romance trading cards for my Air Force pilots and NFL players. Cross your fingers for me!

Now, how about some inspiration for this Monday morning?

That’s the newest cover from Winterheart Design for MLR Press author Jambrea Jo Jones. Jambi loves it so all is right in my artistic world! Have a great Monday!

Mixed Emotions

The weekend was fraught with the title of this blog post. There’s shit going on at home. There’s shit going on with websites. There’s shit going on on Facebook. And damn it all…there’s just shit going on in this world.

Top of the charts: One of the Ellora’s Cavemen was murdered early Sunday morning. It’s shocking and such a loss for the staff and authors at EC. And imagine how his friends and family must feel. I mean, the guy was only 27. He purportedly died in his best friend’s arms. At least he wasn’t alone, but still. 27.

At 27, I was having a shitty year. I could have died and probably very few people would have known it. It was a really bad year. But this guy…he had everything going for him. Who the fuck ever took a gun to a club and used it during an altercation should be strung up. I mean c’mon. If you’re that pissed, you punch someone, not shoot them. What does that say about the shooter’s respect for life? The whole thing makes me angry and sick to my stomach at how low so many people who call themselves humans truly are.

Next up: My house. I hate poisonous snakes. I hate the  909-ers who bottle neck my road. But I don’t want to sell or lose my house. But I think my old man has given up. When that happens, I never win. And I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think I just need to walk away from him and all his problems and neuroses that cost me money and years off my life because of the stress.

And I’m really tired of being broke. I might love him but I’m really tired of being broke. Sometimes I dream of what my life would be like if I had no one to support but me. Man, that’s weird. I’ve never had no one to support but me. I’ve supported other people my entire life, no breaks. I don’t think I’d know what to do with myself.

There’s other stuff. Stuff I don’t have the energy to bring up cause my gut is churning and I need to eat a fistful of Tums. You don’t have to leave me a comment and say you’re sorry I’m going through this or feel this way. I know most of you are generous people and you do feel sorry that my life is shit. I’d rather you go tell someone to check out my books. Not buy them. Just check them out. I’m not trying to make a sale here. Just trying to put myself in front of possible new readers. If they look at my stuff and are interested enough to buy, that’s awesome. But I have a hard time telling people to go buy my books. I guess I’m not a good salesman.

I need a nice photo for inspiration today. Something to help me get through the day. I can’t even say week. Can’t look that far ahead.

Isn’t that pretty? I want to be there. It’s too fucking hot here. I look at that and I could just cry I want to be there so bad. Who gets 105 degree heat in September anyway?

Okay my lovelies. I must go to work. If you want to know what I’ve been reading that I liked, I have a fresh new Valentine Review that I put up yesterday here on this blog. If you want to see where I’m guest blogging about pro sports and bullying and being gay in the NFL check out my pal Tara Lain’s blog. And tomorrow on the 2nd Alix Rickloff invited me over to Blame It On the Muse to talk about Scrambling. Wait until you see that blog post. There’s a port-a-potty in it. LOL

Happy Monday!

 

Photo courtesy Stock.XCHNG

Coming Down

It’s 4 am and I’m up because I’m coming down. People who live with long term illnesses like asthma or diabetes often live on medication for the majority of their lives. It’s rare that they aren’t on anything at all. And when they’ve been on drugs for a long time and are taken off of them, weird things can happen to your body. Last week I was taken off all my asthma meds and given five days of prednisone. Steriods. Each pill is a smaller dose than the one before it so your body is weaned off of them. However, that first day with nothing leaves me with a very unhappy body.

Now, I fully understand withdrawals. Anyone who knows me knows that I live with a recovering addict. I’ve seen a lot of things related to drug use in my thirteen years with him, most notably withdrawals. And I’ve been on steriods before so I know coming down from them can sometimes leave me feeling really sick. Every time that I’ve been sick on coming down has been because I was taken off of all my asthma meds. Coming down from steriods when I was still on my other meds wasn’t too bad. Some nausea and headachiness and that’s about it. Coming down from steriods when I’ve been taken off of everything leaves me spinning.

So I’m sitting here at the moment because the pounding thunder of my head woke me. When I sat up in bed, I felt the nausea hit me. I know the sweats aren’t far behind. And I don’t know which is worse, the nausea or throwing up, which is what happened to me the last time I was in this situation.

I’m going to get a bottle of water and start the hydration process which does help flush everything out of my body. And I’ll have Rott get me ginger ale for the nausea. I’m reluctant to take anything for the headache and thus far it’s painful but not unbearable so I’ll forgo the Tylenol until I can’t take it any longer. The longer I hold out, the better off I’ll be, I know from experience.

I half expected this to happen because I’ve done this before, but I wasn’t sure how menopause would affect withdrawals. My body reacts oddly to some things now. Apparently though, this one thing hasn’t changed, which leaves me with a single observation. Coming down sucks major ass.

Anyway, I’m off to hydrate. My eyes hurt looking at the monitor anyway. I’ll leave you with a yummy Marcus as I usually do. This is another retro Marcus that I posted some years back.

That photo should help my Monday feel a little better, drug withdrawals or not! LOL Happy Monday people!

Flu Shot

Yeah, I got one last week. The nurse wouldn’t give one to a co-worker with a cold. She said the shot lowers your immune system and if you have a cold you’ll get worse.  Well, that explains all the people who get sick after they get the shot. Their immune system must have already been low and they must have already been sickening.  The shot just hastens it. Or if your system is just weak, whoever has a bug can give it to you much easier after you have the shot.

So my co-worker with his cold stood next to me and found out he couldn’t get the shot. I sat down, got the shot and obviously breathed in his germs or something because voila! I have a cold. Sniffles, sore throat, croaky voice, cough, and a fever. Unpleasant to say the least. And I’m joking about my co-worker getting me sick. I’ve been run down for weeks because of stress. I’m sure it wouldn’t have taken much to get me sick after the shot took me down another peg or two.

Rott has been feeding me vitamins, Power-C vitamin water, soup and cupcakes all weekend. Okay, the cupcakes were my idea. This morning, I still had the fever. So I’m up for a bit checking my work email to make sure nothing needs my attention from home (yes, I am the computer geek who can get on the network from home) and then it’s back to bed and maybe some downtime with Z.A. Maxfield’s Book of Daniel. I need to read that one.

Anyway kudos to all of you who got your shots and didn’t get shot down. This is the first time it’s happened to me.  I rather think I’m gonna lose my voice. Some of you are probably thinking that’s a good thing and you might be right. 😉

Here’s a Marcus and then I’m off to bed to let the babies pile on me.

He looks uber healthy there. I need healthy so I’m hoping the photo rubs off on me. *snort* Have a better than I’m having Monday!

I Want My Mommy

I’ve had some pretty painful things happen to me in the past. Broken things, twisted things, torn things. I’ve been on pain meds and rocked myself to sleep while in an incoherent daze from pain. I’ve survived some painful stuff and yet, I find myself in a horrible whiny state this morning, felled by a simple stomachache.

I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do anything except eat a handful of Tums, drink a ginger ale and go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. I feel like a total six year old moaning about a tummy ache. But the damn thing is awful! It’s not the sharp, throbbing pain of a broken bone. It’s not the tight pounding of a migraine. It’s not the set my bones on fire flare of arthritis. It’s just a slightly nauseous, slightly achy, bad egg burp tasting tummy ache. It’s gross and the nagging quality of the churning ache is annoying and exhausting.

Why such a simple kind of pain would seem worse than the time I severely cracked a couple of metacarpals in my hand is a mystery. A broken bone should be worse than a stomachache, shouldn’t it? Maybe it’s because as children, stomachaches totally felled us. As an adult, when you get a stomachache your brain drags up memories of past stomachaches and makes you feel as if you can’t get over this without your mom’s soothing touch and words of comfort. Maybe you need a mouthful of chalky pepperminty Pepto Bismol, the stuff your mom gave you when you were a kid. It’s like half of the discomfort of the stomachache is the fact that your mom isn’t there to make you feel better.

So I’m just gonna whine in my head to myself until the tummy ache goes away. I’ve got no Pepto nor mom to soothe the damned thing. I’ll eat a couple more Tums and grab an ice cold Coke or ginger ale before I leave for work. The icy, fizzy soda will probably do the trick and settle my stomach, but I’ll still feel cranky cause yanno…I have a tummyache and I want my mom! LOL Adults can be such big babies, can’t we?

Hopefully, Marcus helps rid me of the stomachache. Never underestimate the beauty of the Marcus. He can do a lot for an ailing soul.

I feel a bit better now. It might be the Tums or it might be Marcus. Either way, I’d best toddle off to the office. I’m getting back a job I gave up to someone else a few years back now that I have some great help in my part of the department. There is nothing like having competent co-workers to make your workday smoother!

Have an awesome Monday everyone!