All Marcus, All the Time

How I came to be a skank is a strangely circuitous story. See, I have this thing for Marcus Schenkenberg. To me, the man is the most beautiful man in the world. I love his chest, his hands, his dimpled chin… just everything. He is the epitome of male beauty to me. I was obsessed with the man long before the Bar came into existence.

So here I am writing in the Bar and the day comes when Jen offers me Alaric Kohl for Lex Valentine’s mate. (See the post entitled The HEA.) Her inducement to me is to tell me that Alaric is embodied by Marcus Schenkenberg. I have to admit, that was a stroke of genius on her part, enticing me with Marcus. Of course I couldn’t resist.

Not long after that Jen invites me to this message board called Zanctuary or Z as we call it. The women there call each other skanks. They give each other skank names which I think have to be earned in some devious manner. So, very quickly it seemed, I was tagged as the Skankenberg. My response to this was to make skank avatars for everyone! I’ve had various versions of my skank av but this one was the first incarnation.

So now everywhere I go I have to use a Marcus av at some point. At JR Ward’s BDB MB I’m posting pics of Marcus in a kilt… or I’m posting about him at the Dark Muse Society. He’s even on my Yahoo Instant Messenger this week. It’s an av with Marcus and the little giraffe beanie Jen sent me for Christmas. Giraffes being synonymous with Marcus now because of Alaric. (Alaric’s mom makes him take dancing lessons even though at 6’6″ she says he’s a big giraffe.)

So now I’m a skank with an obsession with Marcus Schenkenberg, an attachment to a fictional character named Alaric the Asshole aka the big giraffe, and a collector of giraffe items. All because I think the man has the most beautiful chest and hands and um… everything ever. A skank with a giraffe fetish… not exactly what I thought I’d be at my age but what the hell. I’m enjoying myself drooling so just pass the tissues and laugh at me. It’s all good… and Marcus… he’s just too damn good.

Til next time. Laters peeps!

Anderson Cooper I Love You

Why is it that everyone assumes that you watch TV? My boss comes out of his office and says, “Hey did you see such and such last night on the History Channel?” When I say no, he kinda looks at me blankly. The same thing happened today with one of the Bar writers. He mentioned a character from Stargate Atlantis and I said, “No clue. I don’t watch TV.” One of the other writers had to use a character from a novel as the analogy – Adrian the Betrayer. Ok, Adrian I know. Ronon from Stargate, big blank. I wonder if I’m missing some character opportunities here by not watching TV series.

Now, it’s really not fair of me to say I don’t watch TV because I do. I can show you the cable and electricity bills that prove it. I just don’t watch the big 3 networks nor do I watch series television. I used to but it all bores me now and I get antsy sitting looking at the tube through all the commercials and stuff. I watched pretty much the entire Sopranos show over the years. The last two seasons were hard for me to sit through though.

What I watch is TVG. I’m a horse racing idiot. I love it. Sometimes I like it on in the background while I’m working so I can look over and watch all the really good races and the interviews which are often informative or funny. I love Matt Carruthers. He cracks me up. But no one else I know, except the simmers at derbyfever.com, even know who he is.

I watch the Weather Channel too. I like the storm and disaster stories. That’s me rubbernecking like an idiot ogling a car accident on the 22 freeway. That Jim Cantore… hot. Dude is way hot. The other thing I watch is CNN. I am nuts about CNN. I think I got addicted to it during the first Gulf War when they were broadcasting through the bombing. It was amazing. One of the high points of television’s history to me.

Truthfully, while Larry King is ok and Wolf Blitzer is too, I hate the morning program at CNN. I miss Soledad O’Brien. I hate Kieran Chetry. She couldn’t even say the name ZOE correctly on the New Year’s Eve show! God, I cringed. What a MORON! She was distracting me from my main reason for watching… Anderson Cooper. God I love that man. His sense of humor, the way he pokes fun at himself… but the dude is smart. Way, f-ing smart. I don’t mind the grey hair either. Heh… he has more than me! Woot!

All the speculation about whether he’s gay or not… who gives a shit? I sure don’t. I just love the man. I don’t care who he has sex with as long as I can turn on CNN and see him smile at me. And I really think he’s one of those people who cares about his viewers in the sense that he doesn’t see us as cattle but as people who watch him to become informed. I honestly don’t think he has a fat head about himself. I love him so much I even have an Anderson Cooper wallpaper… he’s in a red CNN jacket being buffeted by Katrina. The high point of my love for the man, that I would put him on my desktop. What can I say? If you make it to my desktop you are golden.

So really… I watch TV. I just don’t watch the stuff YOU watch. I watch a little football sometimes. I watch Speed Channel sometimes… usually the Craftsman Truck Series cuz it’s on after TVG Quarters is finished on the weekend. You know, Jen even got me to watch an entire episode of Men In Trees once. Ok, I fell asleep for about 15 minutes in the beginning half because it was boring and Scott Elrod wasn’t in that half hour much. I even tried to watch that Moonlight vamp show because Victor Webster was on. My co-worker Linda keeps saying the vamp is so fine… but pffft. Vic just blew him away for looks. I will watch Victor Webster any day. Um, except that day… I only managed about 15 minutes. Then I got antsy and bored and changed back to CNN.

I guess I have a You Tube attention span these days. I can watch the Mean Kitty Song over and over. Hey little Sparta… And Gunther… too f-ing funny! Do NOT mention the jar of dirt one to me though. I’m not that big a Johnny Depp fan. Ok, I’m done. I guess I just wanted to say that I really do watch TV. It’s just that I would be a lot more interested in the medium if there was an Anderson Cooper channel.

Laters peeps!

The Man Who Was Left Behind

The picture above is Andrei Andrei. The one below is me and Paul. Don’t you think Paul looks a little like Andrei? Paul’s the man I had but couldn’t have. He’s the one I left behind. I think I left something behind with him too and it wasn’t my Nagel or my sheets from Neiman Marcus or even the half a gold heart on a chain… I think it was a little piece of me. Ah, well. Such is life.

From Hell to the Cemetery to a Blog

Well, here I am. I think. Wait… if I think then … I am. Ah, fuck it. This is an experiment. A writing/research kind of experiment. You see, I’m a writer. I write fiction. Mostly these days I write in a story called The Bar. It’s a paranormal cyber serial which means it’s an online soap opera story with vampires, werewolves, and just about any kind of creature you could imagine including *cough* humans. The story is told on a message board in posts. Sometimes in first person and sometimes in third.

I’m not the only writer at The Bar. Currently, there are seven of us and one is a man. We’re a diverse group. I’m the oldest and I live in Southern California. I think Alysse is the youngest. She lives in Hawaii. Then there’s Darrien. He lives in Scotland. Laurie in Wisconsin. Avalon in Spain. Mary in Arkansas and Jen in Indiana. Alysse, Dee and Laurie are all in their 20’s. Mary and Jen in their 30’s. I am the old woman in her 40’s which leads me to the reason for this blog.

See, I was looking for hot men to be the physical representation of characters in The Bar Story. I came across this hot Romanian model named Andrei Andrei. He’s got a blog.  I started reading his blog for shits and grins one day. His English is pretty good. I was surprised. I started watching the videos he posted and really liked the last one which was from a music video shoot in Lebanon. The music sucked ass but the video… which was all him and some girl, possibly the singer… was HOT! Damn he is fine! So I did something I rarely ever do… I posted a comment. My comment said he looked hot in the video and if he ever wanted a sugar mama in Southern California to look me up. Once I’d posted the comment it preyed on my fertile mind. I kept wondering what if…

What if a woman… an ordinary woman who aspired to be a romance writer… began haunting a male model’s blog? What if she was fascinated with him and his life? What if he was amused by her comments and the bits of her personality he could discern from her posts? What if he went looking and found her blog? What if he was secretly falling for her and she for him? What if he somehow got her address and showed up on her doorstep one day? Not looking for a sugar mama but looking for the woman whose blog posts had enthralled him. What if she was 15 years older than him, shy and not beautiful? Would he still love her? Could he win her? Would he want to?

So I guess being a webpage builder and writer but not a blogger I decided I’d better figure out what the hell it was like to have a blog. You’re supposed to write about what you know so this is my research project. I doubt Andrei Andrei will come by and read it and fall in love with me and show up on my doorstep but it’s a nice daydream for about 2 minutes. I’m too old for the hot young things now but I can look at them and remember what it was like to be with one. Besides, Andrei looks like a piece of my past and a man I had to leave behind.

Whoever said that being old and boring means you were always that way? I wasn’t. I have a past. A murky one with spikes of high romance and lust and lows of depression so dark and deep it’s a wonder I survived to type this here today. I went from Hell to the Cemetery (where I work now) to this Blog. If my teenage daughter reads this she’s gonna roll her eyes but at the same time she knows… Mom lived. I tried not to let life pass me by. If living meant grabbing the ass of some hot young man… well then, I guess I’ve lived. Righteously.

Laters peeps. Until the next time…

Just click if you’re interested in The Bar Story.