Weighing In

Judging and being judgmental are things we all do no matter how much we say we are not like that. We all make judgments based on the things we know, our personal experiences, and more. Sure, we can all say that we shouldn’t judge each other, yet we all do.

“Did you see her new hair color? It’s just not appropriate for a woman her age!”

Simple little gossipy statements like that may not mean anything to you and your friends as you whisper them over the lunch table, but they are a judgment. I’m not gonna tell you I don’t do stuff like that because just like 100% of the rest of this world, at times I do. Sure, maybe it’s only about the color of Lindsay Lohan’s panties that she’s flashing to the world this week and it’s not gonna hurt her if I think hot pink thongs look like shit on her… it’s still a judgment.

A friend of mine who had been the a victim of a crime was treated rather cruelly and unfairly the other day. The person who treated him that way? Someone who had been the victim of the same crime. However, this person played the judgment game. They weighed what they knew of the crime perpetrated against them against what they thought had occurred to my friend, and they sat in judgment, deeming themselves to be a bigger victim than him. They basically told him that it didn’t matter what had happened to him because what had happened to them was so much worse.

I have to admit to being rather shocked when I discovered this. How can you negate the feelings of another like that? How can you sit in judgment on them and brush off what happened to them as nothing because you don’t feel it was as bad as what happened to you?

You would think that they would find a commonality to bond them together rather than this person completely dismissing what had happened to my friend. I saw that as the height of selfish egoism. That person was just as cruel as the people who had hurt them and the people who had hurt my friend. My friend has risen above what was done to him and tries to find good in everyone. This person has not. They have allowed what happened to them to color their words and actions with cruelty wielded in the name of self-righteousness mounted on a flaming sword of vengeance. It was obvious to me that they felt they had the right to weigh something that cannot be weighed in order to pass judgment and find others wanting when ranged beside themselves.

I wonder that I have back teeth this morning. I ground them that much. You can’t weigh the damage done to a soul or to emotions. However, you can measure the breadth and depth of someone’s heart. My friend’s heart is as big as the sky. The person who sat in judgment on what had been done to him… well, my judgment, based on their words and actions, is that theirs is the size of a pebble, and just as stony.

I removed myself from their presence and I feel a lot better about it now. My friend will bounce back and forgive. The other person… they don’t appear to have learned that sort of graciousness and serenity yet. Despite my aching teeth, I do sincerely hope they do some day.

Now, we can all sit in judgment on a Marcus this morning. A Monday without Marcus is not a good day in my house, I can tell you.

markusschenkenberg1

The next time I go to a hotel, I’d like to look out at the pool and see that. *sigh* Ah, well. Not likely to happen I suppose.

Have a great Monday peeps!

wintersig

Who’s a Ho?

I am a pimping ho at Midnight Moon Cafe today. Not only did I pimp myself out… I pimped out Karl, Marty, Gooster, Vahid, Hilly and Becky. All for the sake of selling books about TVC (throbbing vampire cock) and SDC (swelling dragon cock).

Well, I have to admit it’s not so much the selling thing that I like, it’s the fans of the stories. I like it that people like and read what I write. I don’t get scads of traffic here, but with the books, my writing gets exposed in a lot more places. I like giving people stories they enjoy. I love it when they adore the same characters that I do. And it’s nice to be able to take a snippet of a friend’s personality and turn it into a character that lots of people read and fall in love with.

I can’t tell you how many people loved Karl with a K in Hot Water. They loved his snarky humor. I got so many comments on Corey in Hot Water that I decided to give him his own story Sunstroked later in the series. I don’t think I would have come up with such vivid characters if it hadn’t been for Karl and Gooster’s real personalities making an impression on me.

Next up is Marty who is the fairy godfather in The Pixie Prince. Cobblestone is releasing that book tomorrow. I can’t wait to see what the readers have to say about Marty. Ride the Lightning, which is Vahid the black dragon’s story, will probably be out in December. I have a feeling our own Vahid may have women beating down his doors even more than they do now once this book is read. (Note to Vahid… buy a bullwhip. The character has one… the ladies love it.)

In the fall and winter I’ll be getting to the sequels to The Pixie Prince which include a story about a Hilary and one about a Becky. I’m hopeful that Cobblestone will take them. Meanwhile, I’ll just do lots of pimping and hope to get more readers so more people can also find out about my friends and their blogs. I know there’s a whole phalanx of women who come through here to click the link to Gooster’s site. Okay, maybe the hotties he posts are the main draw, but I bet they read his other posts too!

Now, hie yourselves off to Midnight Moon Cafe and leave a comment. I’m giving away more books there. 🙂 Have a great Thursday… oh! And wish me luck that I get to see Stone Temple Pilots on the 4th. Cross all your fingers and toes… Loves yas!

wintersig

Remembering…

I remember how I used worry about Motley when she was little. Fear was always close to the surface. Today, I’m thinking of Dawg and what I posted last year and what he’s had to live without for two years. And my heart bleeds for him.

showinglove1

memoriam1

Hug your kids today. Please.

wintersig

Himself

I’m not sure how it happened but New York Times bestselling author and pop icon Neil Gaiman got hold of my Flirty Author Bitches post about the babies. Apparently, he has a half a million followers. I can believe it. My bandwidth usage tripled in the space of a few minutes last night and I couldn’t even get on my own site. All the tweets and re-tweets are keeping that level of hits up there.

This morning I have a few thoughts about all of this. I remembered how the grass roots blogger efforts got Lisa of Clusterfook a trip to Disney World with her girls. I know from her email to me during the fundraising, how much that trip meant to her. I knew that there was power in the tweets and blog posts and blog radio shows in this community. I knew that grass roots efforts could yield solutions and so much more.

Help is being offered and I sincerely appreciate it. So does Motley (Nikki). We still need more help, but I can see that @neilhimself’s re-tweets have made a difference. I think the re-tweets of ordinary people can help too. There is a lot we can accomplish when we work together and pass the word. I’ve seen it happen before as in the case of Lisa, and I know it can happen again to help keep my babies safe.

Motley and I thank every one of you for your love and support and friendship. Those of you who check out Socially Dead for her Twilight spoof posts and leave her encouragement. Those of you come here and check out my Marcus Mondays and read my rambles about my life and my writing. Those of you who found us because of a celebrity’s post on Twitter. All of you have value to us. And you’ve all made a difference in our lives and hopefully the lives of the babies.

The Flirty Author Bitches post is called Mobilizing and I would say we’re headed to the freeway soon. The cause has movement. We just need to keep up the momentum until everyone has a safe home.

Thank you all. I can’t even express how wonderful you are. To save even one is a miracle. To save them all… well, we aren’t there yet, but I am beginning to have faith. Your tweets were just as responsible for turning on the light in my darkness as @neilhimself’s. I just have no words (although I’ve just typed a buttload of them, haven’t I? LOL) for how much this means to me.

Many hugs and MUAHS!

wintersig

Sharsies

I was gonna do a Tuesday tune cause I had a song in my head all day that day. Of course, I was in a groove and wrote 6K so I didn’t have time to come over here and babble and post the song. Then yesterday I was busy posting hotties at Flirty Author Bitches. (They were pretty hot too, male, female, F/F, and M/M.) Today, on a Yahoo group, the wife of a friend posted a link to an article about him in their local paper. Well, to be honest, she’s my friend too, but I don’t talk to her like I talk to him. He and I shoot the shit about the oddest crap… databases and tech stuff… Geek-Speak.

At any rate, I wanted to share Garr with you. Cause I love him. And I love you. And you’ll love this song he wrote about his son. This music is hot. So is Garr. But don’t tell his wife I said that. 😉

See the Sun – Garr

Have a great Friday Eve!

wintersig