What Was I Thinking?

Umm, yeah. I registered for the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention. Do you know how much money that was? And how much the rooms are? And the parking? And all the stuff I have to buy (like a suitcase) because I don’t travel? And all the promo stuff I have to get?

Good thing this convention is deductable for me. Still, please don’t tell Rott how much I spent…

Actually, he has a fair idea. He already ix-nayed on the parking for 5 days at $35 a day.  “Oh, no. You can pay ME half that and I’ll drop you off Tuesday and pick you up on Sunday!”

Yeah, right. I’ll buy gas which means he better drive me in the Infiniti and NOT the little Honda. If I gotta be chauffeured, I want to be seen arriving in the luxury SUV. Never mind that it’s 8 years old. It’s still an Infiniti.

And idiot that I am…I have to be ME. I can’t just get a black suitcase. I have to get a giraffe print one. I can’t just get a black sleeve for my netbook (I’m not taking the full giraffe print laptop case I already have because I’m not taking all the accessories.) I have to get the giraffe print one. I can’t just carry my giraffe wallet by its leash. I have to get a new Dooney letter carrier bag that I can sling across my shoulders. Giraffe print, of course.

I didn’t get new pajamas. They didn’t have giraffe print ones. *grumble, grumble*

Damn it. People are gonna remember me. Even if it’s to laugh at my giraffe crap.

And did I tell you that I get to sign books? The print ones and cover flats for the ebooks? I DO! Two days in a row! OMG! I will totally feel like a real author then. But I think I need to figure out how to sign my pen name…

This is like a new world for me. I’m excited and scared to freaking death. And the money…*moans* What was I thinking? Do you know what I could do with the money? I could buy a new washing machine and a new battery for the Infiniti, both of which died last week. But no. I had to indulge myself. My ego. Well, my author ego really. Not that I have much of one to indulge but by the time this convention is through I’ll either have a little bit bigger one or what I do have will be reduced to rubble.

Have I mentioned I’m a complete wallflower who is terrified of meeting new people? Hilly remembers how I am. I would never have faced Dave Diego without her. But here I am willingly facing the firing squad of hundreds of people on my own.

Someone told me I would be okay once they slapped that name tag on me that says, “LEX VALENTINE, AUTHOR.” And maybe that is the crutch I need to lean on to make it through. I need to remember that even though I am pretty much low on the totem pole of authorship and pretty much unknown, there are SOME people out there who will recognize my name. I just have to keep remembering that I had the balls to walk up to New York Times bestselling author Allison Brennan at the Orange County RWA meeting and she made my year by looking at my name tag and saying, “I know who you are.”

Maybe that’s what I was thinking when I whipped out my credit card and paid for this convention.

Now, how about a Marcus that I don’t need my credit card to pay for?

Oh yum. God, he makes my Mondays easier. Despite what I spent this weekend. *winces*

Have a great Monday everyone!

Paranormal Party

Those of you who came around my blog last year may have noticed that I didn’t put on my Halloween costume this year. Last year I had a grayscale version of this template with red blood dripping fonts.  I’m not sure why I decided against putting it on this year. It requires a tweak or two of the CSS and it’s nothing I can’t do but I just didn’t feel like doing it. Might have something to do with the fact that I don’t feel like having a birthday this year.

Yes, those of you new to my blog may not know that Halloween is my birthday. Paired with working at the cemetery and writing paranormal creatures like vampires and ghosts, you can imagine the raised eyebrows I get. At any rate, despite the goodies I’ve already received for my birthday (I’ll get to that in a moment) I’m just not feeling it this year. And no, I’m not telling you what number it is either.

Love-Me-Dead-200Yesterday was Gay Day at Ethan Day’s Yahoo group and I received a little pressie during the party. Love Me Dead released at MLR Press. So, now you can buy my ghost story. Just in time for Halloween. Or you can head over to lexvalentine.com and click on the News page for info on my birthday contests and maybe you will win a copy or win an autographed copy of Fire Season or the Tales print book.

With Halloween only a few days away lots of Yahoo groups are having Halloween parties. Paranormal parties are always kinda fun cause all the book excerpts are vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and other paranormal creatures.  And then there are all the cemetery and dead related jokes. You know the ghost crying ones, Booooo hoooooo! *eye roll* I’m gonna do a few cause I have this new release and I wanna pimp Fire Season in print too.  But other than some promo, I’m not doing any paranormal birthday party. Nope. No birthday this year despite being offered the chance to see Alice Cooper on Saturday. I just am not in a birthday mood.

Currently, I’m still plugging away at Ride the Lightning, which is an intense and sad story. No throbbing vampire cock here. It’s all dragon. I think I’m even gonna have em mate in dragon form. Just as a twist to the other books where the dragon-ish stuff was kinda limited. Once Lightning is done, I’ve got some Christmas stuff to write. One’s a freebie so you’ll all get your shot at it.

On the home front, things have been a bit better. I hate to talk about for fear I’ll jinx it.  Usually, my life in the personal arena is one step forward and two steps back.  At the moment, it’s baby steps. Really tiny ones.  I can’t even say I’m cautiously optimistic at this point.  It’s just better this week than last week.

Now, it’s time for my favorite part of any week, a Marcus! Oh, yum! You can click on this. It gets bigger. Heh.


I hope you all have a great paranormal party aka Halloween. Have a drink or three for me in honor of my birthday that I don’t feel like having wouldja? *wink* Happy Monday!



One of Rott’s favorite bands of all time is Judas Priest. I know Priest, but not nearly as well as Rott does. He does a great impersonation of Rob Halford, knows all the songs, all the lyrics, every freaking note… I’m old and my memory doesn’t work as well as it used to. I shove a lot of stuff out to make room for more current stuff. I don’t listen to Priest so much anymore, so of course I barely remember how some of the songs go.

You’re wanting to know where I’m going with this, aren’t you? I have a point… oh, yes I do.

Well, my kid has always wanted a Nintendo, PS, Wii… some kind of gaming console. She has for YEARS. Have I given in and purchased one? Ever? NO FREAKING WAY. Her experience with things like Guitar Hero are at other people’s houses. While she was gone for two weeks at her friend’s house last month, she played Rock Band a lot. So she’s pretty good at it. Which was totally a saving grace when we went to Hilly’s only to be faced with Rock Band.

Motley was excited. I was dismayed. I suck at games. I’ve been playing the horse sim game for years, and I still suck at it. As you can guess, they got me to play Rock Band… a little. I was just lost with the game, but apparently I was the only one who knew any of Judas Priest’s You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’. I mangled it, mostly because I just don’t remember all of it. Oh, and Jester and UMB made me laugh a lot so I couldn’t sing. Laughing is forgivable. Just sucking… well, not so much. Heh.

Anyway, the Tuesday Tune is Judas Priest, cause yanno… YOU might have to sing it when you’re playing Rock Band and you wouldn’t wanna fuck up without the excuse of Jester making you laugh, now would you?

Judas Priest

Have a RottNRoll Priest loving Tuesday!

Late Date

Yes, my Monday morning date with Marcus is late. I am still recovering from a weekend of debauchery fun at Dave Diego on Saturday and with Hilly, Karl, the gays, and Othurme on Sunday. The past few years have been so rough on me emotionally that I have forgotten what it is like to truly have friends and have fun. I am more grateful than I can convey for the friends I have made here in the PRB.

Since it is Monday, and since I took today off, I think I should post a couple of luscious Marcus pics just because one can never post a surfeit of a man who looks like this one does. Besides, I can never make up my mind. I think every photo of him makes my heart go THUD.

Before I post Marcus, I do want to pimp out a couple of things. First, everyone should keep checking Flickr for all the Dave Diego photos. I believe Jester is uploading some today. Me, Karl, and SJ posted some, but we weren’t the only ones there, so I’m sure more photos are forthcoming. Second, I’m going to be participating in the Great Interview Experiment over at Citizen of the Month. If you haven’t done this yet, you should. Neil has lots of reasons why listed on his blog, but really, it’s just a fun thing to do to get to know other bloggers. Much better than a meme IMHO.

Now, here is my favorite celeb to round out my Monday.

Watermelon, anyone? I’m not a fan of melon, but I could stand between those thighs and eat me some…

I love a man in a towel. Can I be the guitar? He can strum me all night long…

Another set of daydreams inspired by Marcus. I love Mondays. Now, maybe I’ll go play some Solitare with the Blogography cards. They have a really nice texture to them. I’m in love with them too. Talking to Justin on Twitter about a party bus where we play Rock Band and poker with Dave’s cards has me itching to look at the cards again.

Happy party bus Monday to everyone!


You know it’s gonna be a good day when you haven’t had a call from your honey in a month, and then you get two right before/as you’re leaving for Dave Diego. I was all choked up just hearing his voice. It was the icing on the cake, even before I got the cake!

Anyway, I can’t do a recap. I’m not sure I know how. Karl is a master of them, so I think I’ll leave it to him to do that. What I can give you are the impressions I have from the day. This is the cream that rises to the top when I think of Saturday…

For someone with bad knees and uncontrolled asthma, who doesn’t walk much because of both, I walked more than I have in about a year. I’m hoarse this morning from all the cig smoke everywhere. I had a few moments at the art show where I thought I was gonna have an asthma attack from all the smoke. I was drenched in sweat from all the walking (which played holy hell with my hair). My knees are only a little sore this morning. But my twatting hand hurts like hell! WTF?

For someone who doesn’t drink, I had two. Had a nice Cuervo margy at the pre-event party. Then, after dinner, the ever so wonderful Vahid bought me a Jack and Coke. Whew. The J&C tasted awesome. I miss drinking those, but doubt I will go back to being a big drinker.

Jester and Dave are the same height. Motley and Uncle Monkey Boy are the same height. Karl and Othurme look like they are the same height. No one was the same height as me. Everyone was taller or shorter. I guess 5’5″ isn’t so bad after all. It made me rather unique in this group.

I was unique in other ways too. Hilly, Karl, and Motley all wore green. I wore pink. Jester and UMB didn’t wear green. Jester said it was because he hadn’t gotten the memo.

I might as well have not spent 30 minutes ironing my hair. Between the dampness from sweat, the humidity, and the wind, my hair ended up a big fluffy, frizzy, wavy poof by the time dinner arrived… it looked just like it did when it air dried after my shower that morning. Go figure.

When we changed venues because Nicky Rotten’s had a $10 cover charge, we walked across the street to Whisky Girl’s. Karl mesmerized the hostess with his oozing charm, and she let us have this huge corner booth. This turned out to be an amazing success. Whiskey Girl’s not only had mac n cheese as a side item, they had TATER TOTS! YUM! Dave, of course, had tater tots with his veggie burger, which they were NOT out of.

I am clearly an ass for not reading Vahid. The man is one of the nicest, sweetest, funniest people you will ever meet. His blog goes in my feed reader today.

Uncle Monkey Boy has an awesome manicure with black polish. He totally outdid my purple nails.

Dave can charm more than bloggers. The waitress was dazzled by his… pirate button. Dave being the giving soul that he is, the waitress walked away with a tray full of buttons for herself and the wait staff (who were all females in short skirts.) I got ten buttons, among them were the penis salad button, Lil Dave Nirvana, Bad Monkey Devil, Lil Dave Zombie, Try Evil, an Amethyst, and the Dave Seal of Approval!

Contrary to other blogger reports, Hilly’s driving is fine. As soon as she put on mellow music on the drive home, I dozed off! I am clearly old, and excitement is too much for me. Oh, and DaCar is comfy.

The drive to Dave Diego was interesting in a riCOCKulas way that had nothing to do with DaCar.

Jester has the most beautiful smile.

Uncle Monkey Boy is beyond beautiful.

Gooster never did tell us what his name means.

Othurme has these super hero eyes that see all and know all and make you wonder just what sly thing he is thinking and/or plotting behind his uber intelligent face.

Get a few Guinnesses in Karl and you can get him to sing!

PseudoSJ is a tiny thing! It’s not often that I am taller than people.

All the twats I was getting on my phone were from Dave Diego attendees. We must have been dominating the Twitter world.

Vahid is flirty and fun and up for anything, AND he’s a total gentleman who will give a 19 year old the shirt off his back when the A/C gets too cold. Most men would have just let Motley get hard nipples.

And really… EVERYONE loves Hilly’s boobs… especially the gays.

I shared an “our little secret” moment with Vahid. Then I had one with Jester at the art show. The kindness of the people in this group is incredibly touching. My heart is filled with love this morning.

Dave is an amazing person. He shows up, hands out lanyards with name tags, starts putting together buttons, hands out packs of Blogography playing cards, talks to everyone… He’s so happy that people came out to meet him. He poses for pics and tells stories (the karaoke in Sweden one was funny) and plays host without playing host. The man knows how to throw a party.

My overall impression of Dave Diego? HUGE SUCCESS… because the people are all so much more than larger than life. They are all so very real, and very, very nice. In a world where there is a glut of people who are extreme, these people are so nice they are comfortable to be around. And that is saying a lot in my world.

A very special thank you, big hugs, and a huge MUAH to Hilly, without whom, Motley and I would have been stuck at home reading the twats instead of sending them.

Motley and I made a slideshow from my Flickr Dave Diego Set.

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

Happy Dave Diego Sunday Aftermath to you all!