Pondering

I skipped posting last week because I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Sometimes it’s hard not to when you work somewhere that makes you face your mortality daily. Anyway, I decided to make a few changes after 4 years of blogging here. For one, I’m retiring Marcus. Instead, I’ll have some sort of photo whether it’s a hot guy or a hot couple or just something really beautiful. I still need a pick me up of the visual sort on a Monday so that won’t go away. More likely than not it’ll be a hottie but it won’t always be.

Next, I will be posting a snippet every Monday of whatever I’ve currently got cooking. There are weeks when I have nothing new because I’ve been busy doing other things so I’m determined to make myself write something each week so I have a snippet to share.

I will still be ranting and yakking about my family as I always have. Some things never change and this is my venue so I have to be me and that means the occasional post about my kid or my old man or one of my cats.

Now that I have that out of the way, I have two things for you this morning. One is a photo Nikki took of Noisy. I have it on my desktop at work and it’s just so funny it keeps me cheered. The other thing is a snippet of something I started last night.

My publisher at Pink Petal Books needs an 8-10K short story with BDSM in it. She thought maybe I’d like to write an Emily and Vahid short. I thought about and decided not to. Because instead, I’m going to write a Colin and Eden short. Here’s a little bit of what you can look forward to from Colin Cuffed:

“Are you sure we have permission to be here?” Colin muttered as Eden unlocked the door to her cousin Emily’s house.

“Would I have a key if I didn’t?” his mate growled back at him.

Colin raised his brows at her. Eden had a habit of doing things she shouldn’t and making it seem as if it was perfectly okay. He’d had his hands full literally from the night he’d first met her.  Of course, they were perfectly suited as mates because Colin had an easy going temperament and an insatiable yen for fun. Once they’d dealt with the unhappiness Eden suffered from thinking her family didn’t want her, she’d become just as playful as Colin. They had a blissful marriage, or so Colin had thought until this night.

“I don’t understand what we could be so lacking in that you think we need to spice up our marriage by breaking into your cousin’s house while she’s gone.”

Eden growled at him again, ushering him into the foyer of the house. “We’re not breaking in, not lacking anything and we don’t need to spice up our marriage. We have plenty of spice. I just thought I’d bring a new flavor into play.”

Colin bit back a grin. “Whatever you say, love.”

Grabbing him by the hand, she pulled him up the stairs. He admired her ass as they climbed. He’d never seen such a fine ass in his life. Heart shaped and taut enough to bounce coins off of.  His wife’s ass never failed to make him drool and tonight was no exception.

“So what’s Vahid and Emily have that we don’t have?” he asked as she led him down the upstairs corridor.

“A playroom.”

Eden stopped in front of an ordinary bedroom door and inserted a key. The door swung open and Colin’s mouth fell open with it.

“That’s not a playroom. That’s a fucking dungeon!” he exclaimed stepping inside.

And now, here’s my Monday photo (I really need a name for this feature!):

That’s Noisy (the big one not the little one) cooling off with a Coke. It makes me grin every time I look at it!

Happy Monday everyone!

 

Scaredy Cat

Last night I was out really late, like half the night it seemed. At the emergency vet. Bitty Junior had a problem and we rushed him to the vet. See, Junior has long fur. On Saturday, he stunk to high heaven.  Yesterday, Motley and I attempted to shave him to get rid of his knots and clean him up, thinking he had something stuck in his fur and that’s why he was stinky. Well, he had something stuck in his fur alright. A big ball of poop stuck under his tail. Ewwww!

He seemed to be in a lot of pain and wouldn’t let us clip him. So we got worried and took him to the vet. They sedated him, gave him pain meds and clipped him. He came home with a baboon butt and higher than a kite which translated to him walking around and around and around the coffee table while panting. Since they didn’t seem to find any reason for his problem, Rott figured he was in pain because his fur was being pulled. I imagined what it would be like to have my hair pulled constantly and winced majorly.

So Motley and I spent a serious chunk of time late last night waiting and waiting for them to get Junior’s butt shaved, cleaned up and to determine if there was something really bad going on that was obvious. They had a couple of critical cases come in so Junior’s butt had to take a backseat for a bit. Eventually, they got him taken care of and we got to take him home. His carrier now has a sticker on it that says “Property of Junior.” The vet put it on there. He cried some in the car going there but not so much going home. I guess he was more scared when he was in pain and didn’t know what was happening than after they drugged him and took the pain away.

I’m tired and still a little worried this morning but all that really matters is that Junior seems to be okay. He has to go to his regular vet to ensure that nothing else was going on inside him to cause this problem and Motley’s gonna get him an appointment to be shaved despite the cool weather. Hopefully, he should be just fine.  He sure gave us a scare though! Not sure who was more scared, him or us!

I had a release last Friday. Kissing Joan Collins is out at MLR Press. If you’re into gay rom you may want to read this. It’s my first ever Valentine’s story and I’ll be guest blogging at Vanessa Kelly’s on Valentine’s Day talking about how this story was originally het. Also, I believe MLR is fixing to release Afterburner and Rousing Caine by themselves in digital format. Both were part of anthologies originally. I do believe I will pick up some additional sales because I’m sure there were people who wanted to read these but didn’t want to buy the anthologies. I’m hoping to write a third story for the guys in Afterburner (the second story was Breath of Heaven, my Christmas story.) Inversion is about the stress on the couple’s relationship due to the hoops they have to jump through in the surrogacy program which is exacerbated by a young man who makes a play for Sebastian. I’m hoping to have it for MLR’s Father Day releases and then the three novellas about my pilots can go to print together. Still thinking about a title for that, but have been thinking of Wingmen. Not sure I like it though.

Today, I’ve got another retro Marcus, something I’ve posted in the past.

That photo just makes me sigh. It’s delicious. Tired as I am, I could still stare at that all day long. Oh! I also wanted to tell all of you that I’ve been on a reading binge lately. Lots of Kim Knox who does a delicious Alpha hero worthy of my yummeh Marcus. I’m also in the middle of Jillian Stone’s An Affair With Mr. Kennedy which is a really lovely Victorian romantic suspense by a fellow OCC member. Read these authors if you get the chance!

Have a fantastic Monday!

 

Coyote Take Out

The canyon where I live has a lot of wildlife. And cows. The neighbor next door said she had a rattlesnake in her yard recently and had to have another neighbor kill it. There’s owls and other birds of prey. And coyotes. The coyotes start singing around 11:30 each night. You can hear the older ones howl and the younger ones yip. We’ve been told not to let the babies out because of the predators. They are house cats so there’s no way we’d let them out. Although, before we got the security screen door, Neko managed to push out the bottom panel on the battered screen door that came with the house and she snuck out. Rott saw the panel down and bellowed, “NEKO!” She came scrambling back into the house, her chubby body sliding on the wood floors. She tried to get out a window once when we first moved in and got stuck, her little legs spinning as she tried to find purchase. Good thing she’s a chublet or she would have gotten out!

Anyway, one night last week Swirly the Guard Cat was sitting in the window sill of my author cave hissing. The window is on the front of the house with a view of the carport. It was open a little (not enough for one of them to squeeze out) and he saw/heard something outside. He’s a pretty good alarm. Anything, anyone comes into our carport and Swirly hisses. The closer they get to the window, the louder he gets until eventually he starts growling. He stopped hissing pretty quick though because the person in the carport was Rott.

Rott comes up to the window and the babies all crowd around as he starts to tell me why he’s wandering around outside at 1:30 am. He’d found a couple of coyotes in our yard stalking a baby possum. Or in Rott’s words, “Coyote Take Out.” He chased them off but they didn’t go any farther than our carport because of the presence of their snack to go. So Rott shooed them out of the carport into the street. While he was telling me about the baby possum and that he saw the rest of the coyote pack up the street, the coyote take out took a hike and made good his escape. With the possum gone, the next time Rott shooed the approaching coyotes, they left and joined the pack, running up the street and around the corner.

After that, Rott and I went to Denny’s for an early morning breakfast. The coyotes stalking the baby possum in our yard was pretty much the highlight of our week. Rott now tells the babies if they aren’t good, he’s going to put them outside to be coyote take out!

Work is going to be pretty crazy for me starting this week because my co-worker is leaving. I’ve no idea how I’m going to get all the work done and I’m seriously unhappy about this turn of events. So I’m hoping to get a bit of a jump on month end over the next couple of days before she leaves. After that, I don’t even want to think about how tired I’m going to be.

Between coyotes in my yard and my co-worker leaving, I need some serious cheering up which of course means I need a Marcus.

Oh, yum. He really does make my Mondays much better! Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Nemesis

Some of you may have heard me talk about how one of the babies wouldn’t settle in the new house. He first hid in a recliner, tearing it up from the inside to dig his way to the center of the chair where we couldn’t get to him. He didn’t come out for weeks until he was thin and sick. We got him out and into the biggest carrier. Put him in there with food and water and a pee pad and had the chair hauled away.

He did okay in the carrier for a few days and then Rott let him out. After that he hid under the futon for weeks. We’re pretty sure he came out once in awhile  to run into the bathroom for food, water and the box. Mopping up after him was a chore because he’d pee and puke from not eating or drinking for days then gorging himself in the night.

In the last ten days Tux has gotten much better. He’s starting to come out regularly. He goes into the bathroom from under the futon (which is near the bathroom door in a corner of the bedroom) all the time. He has no problems with the bathroom although the skylight messed with him in the beginning for probably a week.  In the last week, he’s been coming out to crumb bum when I’m eating and last night he was playing with his brothers. And when Rott came in last night he stood his ground and went to Rott for petting. Just like a normal non-freaked out cat. Rott laughed that it’s only been 3 months that he’s been hiding while his brothers were all okay within a week.

You might wonder what had poor Tux so freaked out. Well, meet his nemesis.

Yep. The ceiling fan. He was completely freaked by it. His brothers all looked at him like he was insane and I’m pretty sure he was for those three weeks. I’m still not convinced he’s a bit on the crazy side. I mean, c’mon. He hid inside a recliner for a month and wouldn’t come out. He’s lucky he isn’t dead.

But he’s out now and doing much better so hopefully, he gets his manners back or relearns them because he’s conveniently forgotten how to use the box every time he needs to go. I know he uses it sometimes but I’m not sure why he doesn’t use it ALL the time. He’s grossing me out and making me angry so his manners need some serious work at the moment. But, as Rott says, at least he didn’t die in that chair.

It’s a busy Monday ahead for me so now that I’ve told you about Tux’s acclimatization, it’s time for a Marcus.

I know he may not spin everyone’s wheels but he sure spins mine. Yum. Yum.

Hey, if you’re local to me, check out the OC Register for an ad from my work about a photo contest we’re having. You could win a $250 Amex card. That’s a lotta moolah! Hope you all have a great Monday!

Himself Didn’t Work

Remember when people were retweeting Neil Gaiman’s call for people to help me find homes for the kittehs? Remember how so many people emailed and said they would take them? Do you know how many of those people actually did what they said they would do? None of them. Well, one person who said she would take one, ended up not being able to, but yanno… she found someone else who would. An author from Lyrical Press came and adopted the only female.

So all of that frenzy was pretty much for naught and makes me wonder if those people just said those things thinking the great Neilhimself would notice them. I’m still left with my life falling apart and pain in indescribable places and the babies still need homes. Oh, they are fixed and have had shots now though.

Nicki’s cat Neko will not be coming home from the foster care home because the vet discovered she has a heart condition that will require expensive medication and treatment. I can’t afford that. I don’t even have a car that works at the moment and I have DH who is looking for a way to not live with or be with me anymore.

I have an ad on Craigslist in the hope that the smallest of the babies will all find homes. I’m afraid to give them all up because then the DH will still leave and I will have nothing. Having nothing to look forward to is a very desolate feeling. I’m pathetic enough to wish to work things out with him. When he says he cannot live like this and he’s going to leave because of it, I just want to throw up and pains begin in various parts of my body. I’ve swallowed some Tylenols so hopefully the physical pains will dull soon.

As for my heart… I think it’s done. Three times I let a man have it and two times it’s been tossed back. Third time doesn’t look like it’s a charm. I really think he’s just gonna stomp all over it and walk away as if the last ten years was ten minutes. When people stop talking to you and tell you they don’t want to talk about it, that’s a pretty significant thing.

So aside from being an emotional zombie who doesn’t know how to do anything except sit and let the hot tears wash down her face, I still need homes for some of the babies. Last time the mobilization got me all jacked up on hope and got one kitten a home. Can it be done again? This time to save my sanity or my life (since my blood pressure is about as high as strokesville.) You tell me.

Am I wasting my breath again? Maybe I should just open the door and push them all out… cats, the DH, the lazy kid. Or maybe I should just quietly get the car fixed, toss some stuff in the trunk, pick up my netbook and walk away from all of them. That seems really irresponsible of me. I’m not usually the type you can’t rely on to see things through, but I’m tired of the lip service from everyone starting with my daughter, the man I’ve been with for ten years, and all those people on here who promised to help me but couldn’t be bothered to return an email. Am I the only person out here with ethics and a heart? Is that why everyone stomps on me? Is that why I feel so miserable that I’m gonna have to run to the sink and yak as soon as I post this?

For years I’ve been responsible for others. I’m still responsible for them, sacrificing for them. And I don’t feel appreciated in the least. Now, I’ve strangers treating me the same way with their empty promises of assistance. Am I wrong to want someone to be straight up with me and just help me without asking for or expecting anything in return or reneging? And those people I would like something from – my kid, my DH – why is it that they care only for their own feelings and nothing for mine? Am I just something they use like a utensil or a car? I’m convenient and acquiescent I guess. Perfect for giving lip service to.

If you know someone who could help find the kittehs homes, please repost and retweet the Craigslist link. I really do need homes for them before they end up in the street. I have a feeling that is where I am headed here soon because I just do not see a HEA up ahead.

wintersig