Tuesday Tunes and Wheezing

My brain has been furiously running through songs since I offered up my fractured vocal cords on the altar of Fab’s next Duet show. This is an especially tough thing for me because once upon a time, I had a very beautiful singing voice. Ask David from BellaDaddyBlog. He’ll tell you I could wring tears from your eyes. And not because I sang like fingernails on a chalkboard either. Pffft.

When I turned 30, I was diagnosed with asthma. Don’t laugh. Some people don’t get it as a kid. There have been several females in my family who got asthma after the age of 30. I thought it wasn’t a big deal. Then I got a very nasty case of pneumonia. And another. And another. In the space of 5 years, I’d had it 6 or 7 times. Now, years later, I have the horrid asthmatic wheeze and cough. Meds keep me breathing and attack free, but there has been a price to pay to continue breathing… my vocal cords and breath control. Both are now nicely shot. It’s the toughest pill I’ve had to swallow of all the meds I’ve had over the past 17 years since I was diagnosed.

For me to offer to sing is like asking a painter who is now blind to create a watercolor. Tough stuff. I can half assed carry a tune, but it’s a pathetic shadow of my former glorious voice. I goof mostly now, because to do anything serious puts me in tears. Only David knows how truly hard this is for me. But David being the kind of man he is, he would tell me to do it anyway, and fuck it if I don’t sound like an angel any more. He would tell me to just have fun. (You’re gonna send me an email now, aren’t you, David? Telling me everything I just attributed to you, right? Don’t make me out a liar, dude.)

So anyway, here are the songs I’ve decided I might be able to pull off with Fab. I have something else up my sleeve too, but it’s super secret and seriously amusing. My sense is that if it tickles Fab’s funny bone the way it tickles mine… I might just have to do it. However, it means lots and lots and lots of practice for my asthmatic self. I wonder if I can manage a take without a wheeze or a cough? Maybe I should leave them in. After all, if I can’t be the Diva anymore I might as well be Red Skelton, right? Enjoy the tunes!

Tagged… and Not With Graffiti!

My original plan for this post was to talk about the stuff I have on my plate currently at the Bar. However, I’m starting out my weekend post with a meme instead. I’ve been tagged. I looked at myself to see where the graffiti was, but couldn’t see it. The PITA asked me what I was doing twisting and turning in front of the bathroom mirror. So I told her. She snorted and said, “It’s a cyber tag, Mom. You can’t see it, which you know perfectly well. You’re such a dork. Always looking for blog fodder.”

She’s right. I am. If it’s not angles and ideas for the Bar Story that I’m on the hunt for, it’s blog fodder. I’d be an ambulance chaser if it gave me good fodder for my blog. You see, I struggle to be amusing. It does not come easily to me as it does to say, Matt-Man of Bagwine Ruminations, Mr. Fabulous of Pointless Drivel, or Diesel of Mattress Police. In fact, I don’t think I am amusing. I think I’m a dork. If you all are chuckling, it’s because I’m a dork, not because I’m funny. So, first up is the meme:

I got tagged by Tempest from Midnight Moon Cafe… Ah, Tempest, Tempest! Why you tagged ME for this meme is beyond me. Well, maybe not. You probably thought I’d post some wild outrageous stuff, didn’t you? Heh heh.

Okies, here’s how the tagged thingy works.

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six random things about you.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your blog entry.
5. Let the tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blog.

Now, here it is, Six Random Things About Winter:

1. I was diagnosed with asthma at 31. Never had it before that. It’s a weird, probably genetic, thing in our family. Boys – asthmas as kids. Girls – asthmas after having kids, or turning 30-ish, whichever comes first. Velvet and I are now wheezing our way through our 40’s together, coughing and sucking on steroidal inhalers. (Velvet is my niece. I’m a year older than her. We grew up together.)

2. I’ve always had cats with odd names. Dirty Nose, Coffee Grounds, Skunk, Dummy, Swirly. I never named any of them either. All have passed to the Rainbow Bridge except for Dummy and Swirly who are also known as the Feral Brothers. We still have Skunk too in a sense… his ashes are in a gray marble urn on the entertainment center in the living room. He was really Rott’s cat, but I loved him too.

3. My eyebrows don’t really grow anymore. I don’t have to pluck them very much or very often. I guess I’ve plucked them so much, for so long, that the hair just doesn’t bother to grow anymore. And yes, the arch in them is natural. Do you think I like walking around with an expression of perpetual surprise on my face?

4. I hate shopping. I don’t like going to the mall or the grocery store. I buy stuff online, even my groceries. It takes sooo much less time and the parking is superior! I’m even kinda getting meh about the bookstore. The bookstore shopping has starting sucking because the paranormals and romances are one aisle over from the mangas in my Barnes and Noble. Those manga kids piss me off, sitting in the paranormal aisles, in my way, making noise. Grrrr. Okay, I’m officially in the I hate all shopping in person category now. Even the bookstore.

5. My kid, the PITA, made me a bracelet last year when she was into beads. I got her these cool skull beads from South America so she included a few on my bracelet. Four white skulls and a black one, plus some green and purple beads (her BF Tyler’s fave colors – not sure why she put them on MY bracelet lol), and letter beads that spell out MEEMO. Meemo is what she’s always called me. Well, until she got older. Now, she only says it when she’s wheedling. Meemo stands for Mean Mom. I wear that name like a badge of honor, I tell you.

6. My sex life had always been feast or famine until I met Rott. I went 2 years without having sex with a man and then ended my drought by having a slut year where I screwed my way through about 14 guys. I know. I’m a baaaaad girl. I was 26 or 27 at the time. My parents had both just died. Call it Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It sure sounds better than saying it was a slut year.

Here are the people I’m passing this lovely bit of internet graffiti on to: Mary, Mr. Fabulous, Shiny, the Libertine, Susan, and Nicholas. I can’t wait to see how creative they get with this. *EG* I would have loved to tag Andrei Andrei, but since he is a quasi celeb, could I do that? I mean, he’d just blow me off, wouldn’t he? And yes, Nicholas, I know you did this one already, but c’mon! The last one you did was excellent. Here’s your chance to fascinate me some more. *wink*

Now that the meme is out of the way, here’s the post I had planned for this weekend… what’s on my writing plate at the Bar.

Weylyn Randall – My bi-sexual werewolf is on his way to a rendezvous with Isolde the pixie. She’s drunk and looking to get laid. Weylyn is always looking to get his were on. Should be a match made in sexual heaven. This is bound to be a very hot sex post.

Nyx McClaren – Her nemesis, the Fallen Angel Macaire, has laid down the gauntlet, but the ever resourceful water fairy/spy is busy trying to find her missing brother-in-law. She has a pow wow with the rest of the family, making plans to search for the missing Helios.

Lex Valentine Kohl – My petite pregnant vampire overhears her DH, Alaric the Asshole, on the phone with his brother Lucius. They are talking about their newly discovered cousin Griffin, whom the men do not trust. After the phone convo, Lex and Al get into it once again over the new BMW 5 series sedan that Alaric wants Lex to drive instead of her Mini Cooper. The megabitch lashes out at the asshole… do apologies ensue? Or do they just have angry sex instead?

Griffin Rothchild Kohl – The newest member of the Kohl family ponders his new relatives as he heads for a library to do some research on the Hellbounds vampires. At the vamp library, he meets a woman who is crucial to his destiny. Could she be his mate?

Althea Grenville – The youngest of the Fallen Angel Grenville sisters is in Norway with Lorenzo Moretti, searching for his best friend Antonio Blue. Althea is falling hard for Lorenzo, but knows that she cannot have a mate. The sex is hot between them and her feelings are riding high. Can she give him up once she helps him find Antonio? And what is that weird blue glow in Lorenzo’s chest?

Matt Havens – The Pixie Prince arrives back in the Otherworld with his fiancee, the fire elemental Emmy Morgan. Matt has to meet the parents and prepare to go back to work as a Calvin Klein underwear model. His mate, Emmy, has work too, now that she has a recording contract. Plus, there is an odd mystery going on in the Morgan family surrounding the disappearance and possible death of Em’s cousin Vanora. Can Matt and Emmy balance their careers with the drama in Em’s family and Matt’s obligations to his people behind the veil?

Tait Rockwell – The Queen of the Fairies is comforting Mace over the loss of his mate Vanora. At home, behind the veil, Puck is waiting for her return. She also has an obligation to the rockstar/vampire Rune. She’s supposed to help him finish his album. How can she continue to be Mace’s friend when he’s such a fuck up and her mate Puck is jealous as hell of her prior relationship with Mace?

Jensen Rudolph – My rare white werewolf has to break off her secret affair with Drey, the youngest brother of the man she’s been in love with all her life. Playing the dom to Drey’s sub was fun for awhile, and she’s taught him a lot about how to play the waiting game as the Beta in the pack. Once Drey’s gone from her life, does she dare to call Bram Steele, the vampire who is interested in her?

Dante DeAmbrose – The beautiful young vampire has to ditch her overprotective brothers Vaughn and Christian, with the help of her pal Lilith, in order to meet with Roman Wulf for another round of hot sex. Before she can do that, she has to run an errand for Christian. The errand changes the course of her life.

Bianca Frith – The wildling goes to Club Insolent with rockstar Rune, who is her mate’s best friend. Bianca’s undergone a makeover courtesy of Ruby Morgan and Rhiannon Blackthorne, but she’s still feeling the rejection of her lover and mate Spyder Burke. At the club, Bianca meets Spyder’s sister Gracie and runs into Spyder himself. A heated encounter in a dark hallway between Spyder and Bianca leads to more than either one of them was ready for.

Sterling McCarran – The new Fallen Angel, ex-CIA agent, is trying to find her place in the immortal world. She’s partnered with another new Fallen Angel, the son of her former lover Mace. Mal is handsome and lost in this world. In an effort to cope, Sterling takes Mal to her grave, the beautiful tomb that Mace had commissioned for her at Pere Lachaise Cemetery. Unfortunately, she runs into Mace there. How does she deal with a man she once loved, who has just lost his mate and unborn son? And how does she hide the fact that Mal is the unborn son he lost?

Tarren Griffith – My half black/half silver dragon is sitting in the bay window, waiting for her mate to return, and trying not to fear that he’s died. She is unaware of the fact that the rest of the Kronos family has arrived at a plan for searching for Helios. She’s also unaware of the fact that the evil mage Caden is responsible for Helios’ disappearance during the mission to eliminate the last black dragon death squad. As dawn breaks, Helios appears, flying toward the chateau, releasing Tarren from her watch. Will she hit him or hug him once they are together again?

The Bar is really heating up. Lots of exciting stories and hot sex on tap in the coming days. Okay, that’s it for me. Hope you all have a great weekend!