Ow! Ow! Ow!

I’m in menopause hell. Hence the OWs. I have a couple things to say and then I’m heading to my bed where a heating pad awaits.

First of all, congratulations to FEDORA who is the big winner of my Morning After post over at Liquid Silver Books’ blog. Fedora wins all three of the Phoenix Prophecy books. 🙂

Next, I have little bit of follow up on yesterday’s post. One of the VPs where I work (the one who read Shifting Winds and Hot Water) is a very smart lady (not just cause she read my books *wink*) and she gave me some info to pass along to those of you who are not married. Here’s what Tiffany said:

People who are in a partnership and are not registered should have a durable power of attorney for health care.  In that document, they can appoint their attorney in-fact who will supersede all blood kin.  They will have the right to control end of life decisions with the hospital as well as control the disposition after death. However, it will not address money, homes and material matter. For that, they need a will or a living will or become registered domestic partners.  Things can get messy and the better prepared we are, the smaller the mess becomes.

Hopefully, her words will give those of you who are not prepared a place to start.

Thanks to everyone who stopped over at Jason’s website to offer your condolences and words of support. The outpouring has meant a lot to him.

Since it’s Tuesday, I’ll offer you a tune and then I’m headed to the heating pad! This is Colorful by the Verve Pipe.

Share Platinum & Gold Collection by The Verve Pipe

Have a pain-free Tuesday and again, congrats to Fedora!

What You Wish For

Today, I have a Tuesday Tune and then I’m gonna get all personal on you.

When people ask me what my favorite Christmas song is, I usually offer up the old carols. The songs I sang in accapella choir. The Boar’s Head Carol, the Coventry Carol, the Holly & the Ivy, Carol of the Bells… you know the stuff. The very old non-commercial stuff. I could tell you all about the Coventry Carol and Lady Godiva and some other stuff, but MEH. No one cares anymore. Everyone likes modern music. Madonna doing Santa Baby. That Mariah Carey song. Aaron Neville.

Don’t get me wrong. I like some of ’em too. Bing Crosby and David Bowie doing the Little Drummer Boy. But the truth of the matter is that in some ways I am a child of the 80’s still. The band that rose to such huge prominence and to this day retains as much respect for their politics as their music holds a place in my heart with their Christmas song.

Last year, I cried for hours. I just wanted Rott. I was so lonely without him. I was worried about him too up in the Sierras in the cold. I wanted things to be like they used to be. Of course, stupid me was thinking back several years instead of just one or two years. Our first Christmas together in Huntington Beach.  The year we were homeless and he brought a tree to the motel on Christmas Eve. I missed just holding him and having him hold me. Last year felt so much like my first Christmas without my parents that I got a little drunk. Couldn’t take the pain.

This year he’s home and all the joy and love that I thought would be there isn’t. It’s been replaced by wariness, caution, fear, trust issues, and a host of the most painful emotions I’ve ever experienced. I’m beset with loss and the man is right there. Things may not be hopeless but at the moment my limboland is painful and painfully barren. I’m not alone like last year, but the loss of so many of my hopes has left me feeling raw and even more lonely than I was last year.

I laughed at myself a few days ago about getting what you wish for. All I could wish for last year was to have him home with me where I knew he was safe and where I could show him that I loved him. This year… I know he’s safe at least. And when he smiles, I can see it. And I know that all this churning emotion at least tells me that I am still alive inside this shell.

And even if we can’t yet cross the chasm between us, and may never be able to, I have those places I can go to in my heart where I can still feel the heat of those memories we made together.  In my mind, Christmas will always be about that night we struggled to decorate a tree that filled a little room and how we laid together in the dark, holding hands, listening to midnight mass on the TV as the lights blinked on that dried out tree.

Sometimes, the best Christmas’s are the ones in your heart.


It’s a Tuesday Tune for the holidays. I love Soundgarden so this has been one of my fave Christmas songs ever since I first heard it.

Last night was a special Jester Show featuring Dave2 of Blogography. They talked about a lot of interesting stuff from iPhone apps and politics to touching up supermodels and cruise ships.  Iron-Fist (Vahid) called in as did Snackiepoo (Hilly) and me. My very short convo with them at the end of the show was about Throbbing Vampire Cock, my favorite Davetoon of all time.

If you didn’t get a chance to listen in to the show live, check out the podcast above. Fans of Ride the Lightning will get to hear the real Vahid and Dave speak! Yes, they both sound incredibly sexy as does Jester who has the best laugh in the world.  Jester Shows are never to be missed. They are so much fun!

Have a great Tuesday!


Dave Does TVC

I feel all speshul when I get an email from Dave2. It’s even better when I arrive at his blog and discover that I’ve been the inspiration for a cock that sucks you. (You gotta love that line.) I was all kinds of amused and delighted. I love Dave’s toons and this one totally made me laugh out loud. Usually, I don’t laugh at cock. Too busy describing it, I guess. Or trying to get some.

So, seriously people, you gotta read Dave’s blog post. For one, it describes the origin of TVC. For another, you get to see a TVC. It’s not only an amusing story, it’s a look into Dave’s head and how he comes up with a great toon. Who doesn’t wanna know what’s behind the genius?

After you read Dave’s post, you have to see the actual cartoon. TVC is a bad guy. You have to find out if he wins the day or not. What happens to the TVC will make you grin. Who doesn’t want to grin on a Tuesday? So run over here to read the full TVC toon.

I’m off to work in a minute and later I have to work on TPC (throbbing phoenix cock) so I’m gonna leave you with a Tuesday Tune. I haven’t done one in for-effing-evah. Here’s some Motley Crue to start the day!

Have a great Tuesday!