Thursday Thirteen The Third

Thirteen Quotes From The Bar Story


It’s Thursday Thirteen the Third! (Say that 3 times fast. HEH.) This week I’ve got 13 amusing quotes from The Bar, a serial story that I, and seven other writers, participate in. All of these quotes were written by me. Maybe another time I will do funny one liners by the other writers. Truthfully, the other writers are funnier than I am, especially Mary. I actually had a hard time finding 13 pieces that I thought were amusing. I guess I’m not that funny. LOL So here they are, 13 quotes from The Bar Story! Enjoy!

1. The vampire looked at me with steel blue eyes that were keenly intelligent, despite the fact that he was probably three sheets to the wind. “I’m Lucius Kohl,” he said, grimacing at his full hands.

I grinned and showed him my own full hands. We’d have to forgo the shaking hands shit. “Matt Havens,” I replied easily. “I’m a childhood friend of Rosalie’s come to keep her company while Collin is out.”

Lucius grunted, his hungry gaze on the Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket. “Damn. How come I don’t have friends who bring me food? All my friends come my house to eat.”

2. While they were getting their toes done, a sleepy Johann came in. “What the fuck?” he muttered groggily, taking in the spa atmosphere.

Sascha grinned at him. “Want a manicure Joh?” she teased.

“Yeah, like I want cancer,” he grumbled.

3. “I mean that, as of this moment, I don’t think I’m the Calvin Klein underwear guy anymore. I’m back to being Mattias Alain Erodonius Havenstoll Angouleme du Mordain.”

Emmy blinked at him for a moment, stunned. Then she grinned. “I don’t think that will fit very well on my mailbox, Matt.”

4. “Shut up, Lisp,” Dante growled. “This is important.”

“Fuck you, Dante. I told you never to call me that again. I can speak the King’s English perfectly,” Lilith said in a haughty tone.

Dante started to laugh. “Yeah, when you’re sober. When you’re drunk, you lisp. My name ith Lilith,” she mocked. “Lilith the Lithp.”

5. I opened my mouth and he stuck a tongue depressor in it. I fought the urge to gag. Suddenly, Alaric’s thoughts invaded my head. You’re gagging over a tongue depressor when you’ve easily slurped down my whole…

Arggh! Out of my head Alaric! The doctor is examining me! I can’t be thinking of your dick right now.

6. Valerian shook his head. “I’m dreaming aren’t I?”

Nyx laughed and stroked the back of his head. “I don’t think so, Shadow. Are we going to bed now?”

He shook his head again. “Where do you want it?”

Nyx knew exactly what he was referring to. “Where do you want to put it?”

“Your forehead,” he replied instantly, and after a quick second of shock on her part, Nyx burst out laughing.

“Thereby keeping every male away from me because your mate mark is branded on my face in plain sight,” she grinned. “You’re a devil.”

7. Lorenzo leaned over the table toward Althea. “You mean it’s not my handsome face and scintillating personality that has your panties wet?” he asked in a low voice that reeked of sex.

Althea’s mouth curved up as she murmured, “Well, that too.” She cocked up an eyebrow at him. “I think it was really the little boy lost air about you that drew me. I wanted to rescue you and feed you milk and cookies.”

Lorenzo’s eyes gleamed. “Milk and cookies?” He gestured toward her breasts and the juncture of her thighs. “Is that what they call it in England these days?”

8. “How many times have we done it in the shower?” Matt asked Emmy, as he slipped a hand between her thighs.

Her eyes glowed with desire. “Not enough.” She pulled his head down and kissed him.

Good answer, Matt thought smugly.

9. “You’d be a lot more attractive with your mouth sealed shut,” Johann goaded snidely, his blue eyes furious.

“I’m sure you find the duct tape look sooo attractive,” Lex scoffed in an acid voice.

10. “I can hear those lascivious thoughts you know,” she teased, as she slid out of bed and reached for a short green silk robe.

“I know.” Matt sat up, watching her belt the robe. “Doesn’t hurt for you to know what you do to me.”

She grinned and tossed back her long dark hair. “I turn you into a perv? I would think there’s something in your genes that causes it, not me.”

“There is something in my jeans that causes me to think sexual thoughts about you.” Matt shoved back the covers and let her stare at his raging erection. “Well, it’s not in my jeans at the moment, and if I tried to put it in my jeans in this state, it would protest.”

11. The vampire deity smiled at them. “Alexandria? I was touched by how you overcame your fears about money and spent ten thousand dollars on an oversized giraffe as a gesture of love for Alaric. It was beautiful…”

I gasped in shock. I recalled telling the concierge to get the biggest giraffe at FAO Schwarz… but ten thousand dollars? He’d bought a ten thousand dollar giraffe for Alaric? Oh, hell. My credit card was maxed out now…

12. Dominic checked Carlisle’s fingers and pronounced her hand fine. “No more hitting people. Okay, Car?” he said with a grimace. “Mary’s a friend. In fact, I’ll have to take you over there sometime soon. The two of you will probably get along like a house on fire.”

“Or set fire to the house with their fighting,” Stein muttered sarcastically under his breath.

13. “Skinny dipping always leads to seduction,” Nyx grinned, walking to the door.

“For you, maybe. For me it leads to sand in my butt,” Ainsley grumbled wickedly.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

And there ya have it! Thirteen amusing moments from the Bar. Everyone is welcome to come read our story, which is written by eight writers, male and female, from around the world. Happy TT, peeps!

Thursday Thirteen The Second

Thirteen Things I Wish Were Mine
Some of these are way, way out of my league. Others aren’t if I scrimp and save…

1. The Janie. Janie is a megayacht. I saw the pics of the interior and completely fell in love with her.

2. The Paris Dream house. Some of the interior is really yucky and would need renovation, but overall I love the house. The website is actually parisdreamhouse.com.

3. This body. It’s Kelly Monaco’s. In reality, I’m older, taller, heavier…

4. A Tiffany padlock. There are cheaper ones but I love this one. It’s not that expensive, but it is one of those things only a man should buy for you.

5. The Brabus Rocket. This is the fastest sedan in the world. It’s the shit.

6. A Dooney and Bourke giraffe bucket purse. Okay, I kinda have a giraffe fetish thing happening these days. I was already a Dooney idiot, but then they had to go make this purse. I’ll prolly get one before the end of the year but I’d really like to have the purse and all the matching accessories, which is way too expensive for me.
7. A pair of Manolo Blahnik’s. I really like these, but they look like they should be worn with a wedding dress.

8. My own carousel with giraffes and white horses and dragon chariots.

9. A dragon tattoo. I’m too chicken though. Keloids run in my family and I’ve had a little trouble with my double helix piercing so I don’t think I’m brave enough to try a tatt.
10. A chaise lounge in my bedroom. I don’t have the room right now because I’ve got my desk and a recliner in there. The feral cats have taken over the recliner. If I ever get the Paris Dream house, I’m getting this chaise! (And the red lips couch too!)

11. A thoroughbred racehorse. Even just part of one. Owning a whole stable would be interesting though. Like the Alan Paulsen Trust who owned Azeri. She was an awesome mare.

12. My own island like Sir Richard Branson. Necker Island is gorgeous. Branson bought the uninhabited island and did what he wanted with it. It sounds soooo relaxing!

13. Marcus Schenkenberg. *sigh* You knew I was gonna say that, didn’t you? I am so obsessed with this man, and so pathetic aren’t I? LOL

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday 13 the First

What the heck is a Thursday Thirteen? I thought I’d try this to see if I like it. I prolly will. LOL So far, I’ve been enjoying the blogging world! So here are 13 things about me to start off my first TT.

Thirteen Things about Winter

1. I write…all the time. If it’s not the blog, it’s the Bar or something else.
2. I’m Emo… per my kid. She hates this about me. I say I’m moody. She says pfft.
3. I feel old…about half the time. The half where my bones ache.
4. I don’t give a shit about the state of the nation. I only care about the state of my bills vs my bank account.
5. I could probably eat Mexican food every day of the week, and I’m not even Hispanic.
6. I’m not good at parties. I hang out in the kitchen. Can you say wallflower?
7. I’ve been to auto racing school twice. Once at Sears Point and once at Laguna Seca.
8. I learned how to swim (sort of) at the age of 26 thanks to 2 teenagers, Jason Marquez and J.J. Jones. (Thanks guys!)
9. I met the love of my life on the internet at KNAC.com. His hair is longer than mine.
10. I love creme brulee. Apparently, all my best female characters do as well.
11. My favorite smells are fresh ground coffee beans and Lovespell.
12. I collect giraffes because of a fictional character who looks like Marcus Schenkenberg.
13. I was born on Halloween.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!