I can’t remember the last time I was alone for an indefinite period of time. I mean, Motley’s always been here (excepting camp, trips, Rawhide Ranch, that sort of thing) for 19 years. And Rott’s been here (excepting a night or two at his pal Curt’s and 3 months while he waited to get a Prop 9 I think it’s called) for almost 10 years. Now, I’m not sure when Motley’s coming home. I know she will, just not when. And Rott, well he won’t be home for awhile. I’m really freaking alone. It feels… weird.

Since I’m alone this weekend, I might try to write my Zanctuary writing competition piece. It’s 5K words. I did 6K for Pink Chair Diaries in a day. Of course, I was a little inspired there. I’m hoping the Z piece calls me because I’d like to have it done.

Today, since I’m basically free from constraints of any kind, my Friday pimping having been yesterday, I thought I’d give you a little taste of what it’s like to do what I do. I need to write a post for the Bar. It’s from a male point of view in the first person. The guy just found out that he’s related to the Kohl family. He’s sitting at a table with his cousins and his best friend at his half sister’s wedding reception. His half brothers are sitting at the table with the wedding party. One half brother is accepting of him, the other is being a serious prick. The prick’s new girlfriend is sitting with them, as are his cousins’ wives.

I have a little bit of an idea of where the post needs to go. Nothing fully formed. Griffin (the character I’m writing) has thus far been really good about speaking to me when I start typing. He’s got a couple of secrets he’s hiding. One is a secret I can’t tell you in case any of the Bar people come by. Another secret is that he just found his bloodmate, another vampire named Dante. Dante has 2 bloodmates. Griffin and a man named Roman. Roman just happens to be Griffin’s best friend. Nasty little triangle, eh? Dante knows about Griffin and she knows about Roman. She just doesn’t know that they know each other. Neither of the men know that they are the other man in her life. Messy, isn’t it? I love it when it gets all sticky like this.

So Griffin and Roman are sitting at this table, each of them keeping a secret from the other. They’re sitting with the Kohls who are damned wary of Griffin. Griffin also once had the hots for his cousin’s wife because she posed in Playboy before she was married. The guy is seriously uncomfortable.

Now, that you know this… I’m gonna start writing his post, here in this window. Not in Word like I usually do. You’ll see my boo boos etc because I’m not going to edit them out. You’ll see how I took the info I just gave you and craft the beginning of my Griffin post. Ready? Let’s go…

Sitting through Sascha’s wedding ceremony hadn’t been too bad. Sitting through the reception was making me edgy. For one, having Johann’s girlfriend Lacey plop her ass down next to me was NOT going to endear me to my new brother. He was going to want blood for this… my blood… blood that would spill as he ripped my nuts from my body with one wicked twist of his hand. I bit back a sigh. The asshole wasn’t even trying. And regardless of what Lacey said, I wasn’t going to believe in an accepting Johann until I saw evidence of one.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Roman shift uncomfortably. He knew no one here but me. It was just like Roman to get all dressed up in his best Armani suit and attend something like this with me, even though he hated this kind of function with a passion. Later, I would pick his brain because his observations were important to me. I trusted Roman as I trusted no one else. What he saw and heard while in the presence of the Kohls was important to me.

My eyes flicked over to Alaric and Lex. I suppressed a shiver. Lex Valentine was still one of the hottest women on the planet as far as I was concerned. Even married to my 6’6″ cousin Alaric and pregnant with his son, she still outshone every woman in the room in my eyes. I had to keep reminding myself not to look at her breasts or remember what they looked like naked in the magazine photos. Alaric was being protective of her, as usual. He wasn’t stupid.

Next to Alaric and Lex, across the table from me, was Lucius and his new wife Opal. I’d felt Lucius’ eyes on me often during dinner. I didn’t blame the guy for staring. I’d been staring at him too. After all, we looked almost exactly alike. Looking at Lucius was almost like looking in a mirror.

There ya go. The beginning of my post. No edits. No stopping. I wonder how much I’ll have to edit it later after I finish it and before posting to the Bar. So far, all the Griffin posts have been good ones though. He has so much going on in his head, it’s easy to write him. Characters with less going on in their lives are tough to write. Sometimes you have to stretch to find something to write about them. Luckily, my fellow Bar writers always seem to enjoy my posts.

That’s enough freedom for me for now. I’m going to bed where my sheets will tangle my legs and take back some of this freedom. I wish all you Americans a very happy 4th of July. Don’t eat too much or set your asses on fire with rockets. Oh! And if any of you want Rott’s recipe for a really loud BOOM… all you need are one of those small rockets (about 4 inches long) and an empty 2 liter soda bottle. HEH.

Sunday Sex

The Tiara pics from the famous graves will have to wait a day or two. We decided we didn’t want to take the pics with my cell phone, but rather, with Motley’s Nikon Coolpix. In lieu of those pics, I decided to give you some sex from the Bar. Who couldn’t use a little sex on a Sunday, right?

This is actually an outtake. It was an alternate ending to Sterling’s death. However, after I wrote it, ShinyBitch decided she didn’t want to mate Mace to Sterling so I went with another ending that totally changed the direction of the Bar storylines. Had we used the ending I’m posting for you today, the Bar storylines would be completely different today. So, here’s Shiny’s character Mace who has sex with my character Sterling, who died in his arms in the scene right before this.

Mace laid Sterling down in the cramped backseat of the Mustang. She looked so peaceful, as if she was asleep. That is, if you discounted all the blood on her. He touched her cheek softly, surprised that she had cooled only slightly. He got into the driver’s seat and started the car, driving slowly through the cemetery.

His first thought was to take her to the address on the card she’d given him, but it was quite a distance away and he didn’t feel like dealing with it quite yet. Instead, he drove to his rented apartment on the ground floor of an old row house only a few miles from the cemetery. He parked the car in the old garage in the back and entered through his back door into the main hallway of his small place. He carried Sterling into his bedroom and laid her on his unmade bed, sitting on the floor beside her.

He leaned his head against her bloodied hand and closed his eyes. He knew he had to get back to the cemetery to help take in Madspawn. He’d promised Sterling he would help Eden with that because Madspawn was so dangerous. At the moment though, he needed to regroup and get his thoughts and emotions under control so he could go back and face them all.

Mace was shocked at how quickly things had happened. First, he’d seen her in the mausoleum, looking like a lethal angel in black leather with a big gun and a quiet commanding air about her. His heart had flip flopped in his chest and he’d been instantly in lust, his groin swelling in front of anyone who cared to look. She had looked, and he’d noticed that she had. When she’d left to track the Hellbound they’d turned loose, he’d been helpless to do anything except follow her, not that he’d have admitted to that. Every time her lithe body brushed his when they were walking, he thought he’d explode. Finally, when she had come on to him, he’d felt like he’d died and gone to heaven so of course, he’d been an ass to her. She’d dished it right back at him too.

“Don’t try to make me believe you give a shit what happens to me beyond your orgasm.”

The truth of the matter was that he did give a shit. He never had before and didn’t understand why he did now, but her story had touched him more deeply than the pull of overwhelming attraction he’d felt winding around them all evening long.The sex had been mind blowing. Never mind the fact that half of the reason for it was pure adrenalin from squeezing out fifteen minutes in a cemetery full of murderous vampires. The other half of it had been her. He’d never had a woman be so completely uninhibited and in control at the same time. His orgasm had been more intense than any he’d had in his long life. Seeing his cum running down her legs just made him want her again.

However, she’d had strength he’d never imagined a person could have. She’d fixed her clothes and thanked him, making a reference to the fact that she would die this night. Then she’d walked away without looking back. That was when he’d felt it. Something hard and warm rising inside him, urging him to go after her. He did, unable to stop himself. He grabbed her hand and bent her over his arm giving her a kiss like they did in the movies, only this one was for real. She responded instantly. When he’d licked the tear from her face, he had tasted her emotions, her regret. She felt something for him, but he didn’t know enough about emotions to know what it was she felt.

In fact, he didn’t know enough about anything it seemed. When she was dying, he had heard her thoughts in his mind. Usually a vampire could hear only the thoughts of the person meant to be their bloodmate. For him to hear her so clearly in his mind made him instantly realize she must be his. At that point, all thought disappeared and instinct took over. If she was his, he wasn’t about to lose her to death unless it was the death of a turning. So he’d tried to turn her, but it hadn’t worked. He’d found and lost his bloodmate in the space of a night. That seemed to be about par for the course where his life was concerned, he thought. Finding and losing Sterling made him angrier and more hopeless than he’d ever been in his entire existence.

But you haven’t lost me.

Mace blinked. Someone was talking in his mind. Someone female.

It’s me, you idiot.

Sterling’s fingers wiggled beneath his cheek and Mace jumped. He looked up at the bed to find her green eyes twinkling at him. He sprang to his feet and looked down at her. She was still bloody, but the gaping hole in her side had healed. The fang marks in her neck were gone too. She was smiling at him.

In an instant, he was on the bed, on her, and her arms were around him. His mouth found hers, and he kissed her hard, his lips mashing hers, and his tongue demanding entrance. Her fingers clutched at him, her nails digging into the muscles of his back. Within seconds, they were tearing at each other’s clothes and as soon as they were naked, Mace spread her thighs with rough hands and pushed into her without warning, knowing instinctively that she could take him without the preliminaries.

Oh, my freaking God! Tell me I’m not dreaming. He nuzzled her throat as he thrust inside her. She was soaking wet and completely welcoming.

You’re not dreaming, Mace. You turned me. Although I told you not to. She clutched his naked buttocks and returned his thrusts.

He kissed her behind her ear and licked her neck. Fuck you. I heard you in my head, Sterling. You know what that means. How could I not try to turn you when I knew?

Fuck me? She raked her nails down his back, and he arched against her groaning. Fuck you! You didn’t listen to me, Mace!

I don’t wanna listen. I want to fuck you so hard you won’t ever scare me like that again. He thrust harder. The bed shook. She began to moan.

Oh, God! That feels so good. Please, Mace, more.

Mace twisted his hips against her, sliding the full length of his cock out of her before slamming back in. She was so tight and wet he thought he would explode any second.

Wait, Sterling. Wait, love. There is more.

His hands held her head as he turned his own head to the side so that his jugular vein was pressed to her mouth. Suddenly, she growled fiercely, and he felt her new fangs pierce his neck. As she drank, he felt the intense pleasure spiral through him. She was moaning and writhing beneath him. He’d never had a woman go so completely crazy for him. He felt her climaxing, her screams muffled in his neck as she drank. The second her fangs popped free of him, he sank his fangs in her shoulder.She screamed and climaxed again, her pelvis grinding against him, her legs twisted around him.

Mace felt his climax about to explode as Sterling’s blood filled his mouth. She tasted of vanilla. It was the oddest thing, but he only spared a moment for the thought as his climax roared through him. His hands gripped Sterling’s hips. He shuddered as his hot cum gushed into her. His weight pressed her into the mattress, and he felt the hard tips of her full breasts against him. He was so crazed he hadn’t noticed how wonderful their naked shape felt. Earlier, they’d both been clothed. Now, every naked inch of her was pressed against him.

He pulled his mouth from her shoulder and licked it so it would heal. She was breathing heavily, and he closed his eyes, just thankful that she was breathing.

You scared the shit out of me, Sterling. I thought the turning hadn’t worked.

You didn’t know how it worked, yet you did it anyway? You’re an ass, Mace. Her thoughts were wry and teasing, but he knew she was right.

At the moment it happened, I didn’t care. I would have danced naked with the devil and his mistress to save you.

A giggle escaped her. She clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, God. I giggled. I never giggle,” she said out loud with a grin, her eyes glowing.

Mace lifted his head and looked down at her. She looked the same except her faint crows feet were gone, and her skin was flushed from drinking his blood. He reached up a hand and realized he was dripping blood from where she’d bitten him.

“Lick it, baby,” he told her. “It will close up the wound.”

Sterling leaned forward and sucked his flesh into her mouth. The feel of her tongue and teeth on him had his cock rising again. He groaned. “I’ve got to go back. Madspawn needs to be dealt with.”

She gave his neck one last lick. “I’ll go with you.”

“No. You won’t,” he frowned at her. “After a turning you need to rest. I do know that much. Your body is still healing up all the damage from the bullet and from changing. You’ll stay right here so I won’t worry about your ass.”

“But it’s ok for me to worry about yours, bad boy?” Sterling the CIA agent was back. All cool confidence and take charge attitude.

Mace pulled away from her and stood up, ignoring his half hard cock, and looked for his clothes. “You, lover, are gonna keep your beautiful CIA-vampire ass planted right there in my bed until I get back. If you need me, you know how to reach me.”

“I don’t even have to whistle like Bogey and Bacall. All I gotta do is think,” Sterling chuckled. “I could like this bloodmate thing.”

“You better, bitch!” Mace growled, pulling on his jeans but stopping to bend over her menacingly, the fly still open. His mouth caught hers in a rough kiss, then he pulled away abruptly. “I’ve gotta finish this crap. You stay here and out of trouble. I’ll be back to deal with you soon.”

He yanked on his shirt and jacket, turning at the door to look at her. She was sprawled on his completely thrashed bed, naked and glorious and bloody, but she was alive, and she was his. A shit eating grin split his face. “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“Fuck you! I’m the one who got lucky. Go back to work, bad boy. I need my beauty rest!” Sterling grinned at him. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll show you lucky then.

You’d better, blondie.

Have a very sexy Sunday, wonderful people!

Too Damn Hot!

Before I give you the regular dose of Humpday Hotness, I have an announcement. I have my first winner in my Blog Reader Appreciation Week giveaway. Since I posted on Sunday, I tried 18 times to chat with a reader on my blog via Woopra. Eighteen times my “Hello” was ignored. Now, just so you know, I wasn’t paying attention to IPs. I was just looking for the big yellow number to go from 0 to 1 or more, then I’d click on one and send my cheery greeting.

Today, while I was home nursing my double vision from my eyeballs swollen with allergies… I saw the yellow number go from 0 to 1 and I clicked on the person and said “Hello!” Then the number changed to 3, but I was waiting a minute or two before moving on to the second person. Then, lo and behold, the first person REPLIED TO ME! YAY!!!

So, everyone give a big CONGRATULATIONS to the one and only Snackiepoo! She was the first person to ever answer my Woopra “Hello!” When I get my order of cards from Dave2, one deck goes right into Hilly’s hands. As she said, I’ll save on shipping them since she lives nearby, but at the price of gas today I’m not sure I’ll really save much. Heh heh.

I’m really glad the Woopra thing works. I was starting to think it didn’t. I mean, c’mon, eighteen people never answered me! There are still 3 days left to get in your entries for the drawing for the hat. (The Socially Dead one looks HAWT.) All you have to do is leave comments. All the comments posted from the time I posted Mega Monday until 9 pm Pacific time on Friday the 20th are eligible. Every comment gives you an entry.

It’s Humpday so… on to the hotties!

First up is Jason Statham. I loved the Transporter, The Italian Job, and Lock Stock and Two Smokin’ Barrels. Mostly, I liked them because of the luscious eye candy that is this man. I liked him so much I chose him to represent Talon Fychan, who is the best friend and bodyguard of the black wyvern in the Bar Story. Talon’s a tough guy, who doesn’t alway say much, but always looks hot and lethal. Oh, YUM!

Next we have Kristen Bell. Lots of bloggers seem to like her. In the Bar Story, Jen used her as Isolde (Sol) Vespera, a pixie who is um… rather sexually open. When last seen, she was having a marathon sex session with Weylyn that started in the men’s room of a club called Wicked Pleasures.

Whew! Is it steamy in here or is it just me? I’m fanning myself now. Must be time to go have a cold shower. Congratulations again to Hilly for talking to me in Woopra, and everyone go out and have a humping Humpday!

Hotties Again

Since I made you read about Ainsley and Helios yesterday, I thought I’d show you how I see them in my head. Ainsley looks like Famke Janssen, but with pale grey eyes.

Helios looks like Italian actor Raffaelo Balzo. Both are pretty yummy. Eventually though, Helios ends up with Tarren (who looks like Natalie Imbruglia) and Ainsley ends up with Dominic (who looks like Tommy Lee). I know you’re probably thinking poor Ainsley got the crap end of the deal, huh? Never fear, Dom’s got a buttload of money and a holy sword that kills anyone evil with the merest prick. He’s probably as well endowed as Tommy too, so I kinda doubt Ainsley will be unhappy with her mate.

We’ve got new writers at the Bar and things are getting ready to explode on the vampire front. While I’ve had all of this at the back of my mind, I’ve also been thinking of zombies. Thanks to Fab, I’ve got this little conundrum regarding how to write zombie sex. I need to visualize this, so please… help me out and leave suggestions in the comments for who could play my zombie couple and whether it should be two zombies or just one zombie and a person who isn’t dead.

Enjoy the hotties and don’t let the zombies eat your brains today!


Sick Puppies, actually. I love this band. I couldn’t remember if I’d played this song for you before, but if I did I apologize. I just love it, so I can listen to it endlessly. I used it in the Bar for Ainsley, who has an attraction to a man she knows is about to meet his mate. Because she’s filled with despair and loneliness, she offers to spend one night with him before he leaves on a mission where he could die… or find his true mate. There’s a desperation within her when she says goodbye to Helios and the song is the perfect counterpoint. Here’s the song and the post.

It was cold. Or rather, I was cold. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as I held myself, staring out the window at the leaden sky. I was numb. I didn’t know what to think or feel. I’d done something completely out of character last night, but I didn’t regret it. Instead, I was just numb. The water turned off in the bathroom and I sensed Helios coming up behind me. He was showered, shaved, and dressed, and his serious face was back on.

“It’s almost time for me to leave,” he said quietly, his hands coming to rest on my silk covered shoulders.

“I know,” I replied in a flat unemotional voice.

Helios’ eyes searched mine in the window’s reflection. “Do you want me to come back here when it’s over?” he asked. His voice wasn’t tentative, but there was a question in his stormy grey eyes. He was asking me if I wanted him to come back to me. I wished I could tell him yes, but it wouldn’t be the truth. I turned around so I could look at him.

“Helios.” I reached up and touched his handsome face. “I’m not the girl for you. I know you keep picking women who don’t keep you, but I’m not a keeper. I will never have a mate,” I told him solemnly. “If you come back to me you are condemning yourself to a relationship with a woman who can’t have a relationship, a woman who can’t be your mate or give you the children you want.”

I shook my head and reached up on my tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his beautiful mouth. “I’m not what you want or need, Helios. I’ll pray for you to come through this safely and find who you’re looking for to complete your life. But don’t come back here for me.”

“How am I supposed to reply to that?” he asked me in a voice ragged with the beginnings of anger.

I shook my head. “Don’t. Really, it’s better this way. I’m not your mate and you need to find her. Why would you want to come back here and waste your time?”

He frowned fiercely. “Stop it. Being with you isn’t a waste of time, Ainsley. You’re a beautiful woman and you have a lot to offer.”

“No, I don’t. Please don’t make me pick a fight with you and send you from here angry, Helios,” I pleaded quietly. “Just say goodbye.”

Silence fell between us and I stared up at Helios. “I wish I could be what you want,” I told him softly. “But I’m not. Just keep an open mind. Your mate is out there. You may even find her in an unusual place. Don’t close off your options.”

Helios bent and pressed a warm kiss to my lips. “Thank you, Ainsley,” he murmured, his hand cupping my chin and his thumb teasing my lower lip. “You made this soldier’s time of waiting pass in a much more comfortable manner, and you took away my pre-battle bad humor. I’m sure Valerian will thank you for that.” He grinned, and I found myself smiling back at him. He was so damned beautiful.

“Be safe, Helios,” I told him and reached out to grasp his hands and squeeze them. “I’ll see you soon.”

“If you change your mind, Ainsley, you have my number,” he said indicating a note on the table by my cell phone.

I nodded and he walked to the door, turning to look back at me. There was tiny light in his eyes that pleaded with me, but I didn’t budge. I didn’t say anything. Resignation filled his eyes and he turned, opened the door, and was gone in a few seconds. I turned back to look out the window. Half an hour later, I heard the Land Rover leave the grounds. Another fifteen minutes after that, I heard the blades of the big helicopter. By the time an hour had passed, Castle McClaren was again empty and silent, but still I stood at the window staring into nothing.

This is what the rest of my life will be, I thought. This emptiness. I hoped my father died tonight. He had condemned me to this life, now I condemned him to death. Maybe then I would find a measure of peace. I turned and knelt before the fireplace laying and lighting a fire in the grate. I needed the flames and the heat. I needed something that would help me pull myself back up to the level of calm I’d had before Caden DeCameron had reappeared. I lay down on my bed and hugged the pillows to me, knowing that they would smell of Helios. Just a little daydream, I thought. A tiny, little one where I was free of my father’s legacy, and I could have a family and a future…

I closed my eyes and began my prayers. I prayed for the success of the rescue mission. I prayed for Helios’ safety and that of Nyx and Valerian. I prayed for Tristan to win the challenge and rescue his mate. I prayed for Derek’s magic to overcome my father and I prayed for my father’s death. It would be a relief for so many…especially me.

Have a great Tuesday everyone!