I’d Fuck You

Pssst! They’re back. My characters from the Bar. They like coming here and hanging out sometimes when I’m busy. And lately, I’ve been busy writing at the Bar. Last time out, Carlisle and Lex guest posted for me. This time it’s Weylyn. Try not to drool too much. *wink* BTW – “were” is not were… it’s WEAR. Short for werewolf.

Woah! This is much different than I’m used to. I mean, I play bass in a band. Usually, I’m up all night sleep all day. Or in my case, fuck all day. I’m just your average every day were-horn dog. If it has a pulse and excites me in some way, I will fuck it. Tall, short, fat, thin, male, female. I don’t have a preference. They just have to engage my interest in some way. Brainless groupies aren’t much my thing any longer, so if you’re beautiful, but you don’t have a thought in your head that is original, move along.

Now, I will be the first person to tell you that I will fuck anything. Truth be told though, I won’t. A person has to draw the line somewhere, right? If you’ve got an STD, take a hike. Werewolves have a keen sense of smell. I can smell the clap a hundred yards away. And if you’re stupid enough to try to get with me when you’re diseased, I have no qualms telling everyone in hearing distance why I won’t fuck you. Sure, that’s spoiling your fun for the night, but I’d rather protect the innocent than let you get your rocks off infecting people.

Another thing that’s a turn off is dumbasses. Asshats. Oh, and mean girls. Believe me, everyone knows when they are one of those, they just choose to act as if they aren’t. So if you are one of those, and you come on to me, you are asking for a major set down. I will put your ass in it’s place so fast it will make your ego spin. I don’t like to waste time that could be spent getting off, playing music, or eating. So don’t piss me off and waste my time hitting on me. I will make you sorry that you did.

Groupies and sycophants annoy me. Why do those people insist on thinking that just because I’m a musician and I like to get laid, I am stupid enough to fuck them? It’s frustrating, I tell you. Being a sexual revolutionary does not mean I’m stupid. I am smarter than the average were. Never underestimate me.

That reminds me, never underestimate the power of my charm either. You’re afraid to fuck me because you’re older than me? I will make you feel young again. Worried about fucking me because I make more money than you? We’ll eat at McDonald’s. Concerned that you’re not attractive, that you’re too short, too bald, too fat, too skinny, too something? Hey, if I want you, why would you worry about any of those things? When I want someone, I make sure that they know that. And if I can see that you are a short, skinny, balding guy or a fat, dumpy, woman with gray roots, and I still want you… then you must know that there is something right about you. Because, I don’t pick my partners lightly.

You see, I may be a horn dog, but I’m still selective. People matter. Who they are. Not what they look like. The best blow job I ever had was a girl with so many freckles she was afraid to go out in public for fear of being made fun of. However, the fact that I liked her, her quirky sense of humor, her racy turn of mind, her openness to trying new things, showed her that she was beautiful where it counted. And she was great in the sack. Best blow job I ever had. Uhh, I said that already, didn’t I? Sorry.

Don’t ever think that who you are is meaningless. I don’t happen to think that’s true. And you can scoff all you like and say that it’s easy for me to say that when I’m young and talented and good looking and people want me. Just because I am those things doesn’t mean I couldn’t have self doubts. I appreciate people who think and live and feel. So don’t sell yourself short and hide in your house because you’re not one of the pretty people. Some of us out here don’t measure people that way. Your odds of me wanting to fuck you are just as good as the other guy’s. Or girl’s. I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy, ya know.

So look. I don’t wanna hear about the things you think you aren’t, or the things you think you can’t be, or even the things that you truly aren’t. I want to know who and what you ARE. In the now. In the moment. All those sexual fantasies you have bottled up inside you? Bring ’em on! Let’s give them a go! Don’t be afraid. If I like you, I like you. Which generally means I’ll fuck you. Grab my ass like it’s a piece of your life and let’s get on this rollercoaster ride cause there is no time like the present for having some fun.

This is too philosophical for you, isn’t it? You’re just used to me just getting my rocks off. Well, I like getting my rocks off, but I wanted you all to know that you have value. I’d fuck you. Really. And I don’t say that lightly despite what you may have heard… or read. I gotta work on my rep a little, I guess. Maybe this guest posting thing will help. Ya think?

Is Annoyed a Color?

Before you read this, you might want to read Jester, Britt, and my post from yesterday including the comments. What’s written below pertains to all of these posts.

After yesterday’s soul baring post about my writing and self esteem, I have something that seems, on the surface, to go along with it nicely. I took this damned color test thingy because Jester did. I wondered if the color thing explained why Jester had been annoyed recently. Maybe it explains why I’ve been so moody lately. That would certainly be the answer for someone who believes in karma and fate and all that stuff. I don’t really happen to believe in supernatural explanations for the inexplicable, however.

At any rate, here’s the results of my Color Test.

ColorQuiz.com Winter took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!“Strives for a life rich in activity and experience…”

Click here to read the rest of the results.

I don’t think we can box any of us up as tidily as all of these quizzes do. No two of us are alike and the answers are too pat. Still, they are kinda fun and this one tied in nicely to yesterday’s post.

At Britt’s yesterday, she had people post the link(s) to posts they wrote that they liked best. Reading them was an adventure. I haven’t finished yet, but it was an amazingly creative thing to post. I liked the way it was interactive and how Britt herself went to read all the posts. It was one of those things that makes you smile about the community that is this blogging world.

I posted the link to my 10th Thursday Thirteen. It was 13 excerpts from The Bar that included a kiss. The reason it is my favorite post is because in the comments people told me how the kisses made them feel, and how they wanted to go kiss their S.O. Reaching people with my writing is important to me, whether it’s here or at The Bar. So on the day my self esteem was feeling bruised about my writing, Britt’s post made me think of that TT and how the readers felt after reading my writing.

I feel much better now. Vindicated in a sense. I loved all the comments I got on yesterday’s post, but Vixen was right in the end. I had to find the satisfaction within me. My satisfaction wasn’t in my writing, but was in the feelings my writing evoked in others. So thank you to Jester, Britt, the commenters on my blog yesterday, and everyone who commented on my Thursday Thirteen the Tenth. My self esteem is totally sending you all hugs right now!

Have a colorful Thursday!

Floating My Boat

It felt like a long weekend. Probably because I spent so much of it writing. Next weekend will be a true long weekend since I spent some of my much horded vacation hours and took Friday and Monday off. I wasn’t sure if I would need recovery time since it’s Dave Diego next weekend. When it comes to bloggers, I’ve only met Hilly and Karl thus far, so Motley and I are truly excited about this event. Not that Hilly and Karl aren’t the pinnacle of bloggers, but you know what I mean.

I went to Blog Talk Radio yesterday to set a reminder for Turnbaby’s anniversary show, even though I knew I wasn’t going to get to listen to the whole thing. I had a Bar writer’s meeting online that I knew would pull me away at some point. However, when I went to set the reminder, I noticed a show that was on called The Mortal Vampire. Me being me, I had to check it out.

The Mortal Vampire seemed really cool and his chatroom was hopping. His guest was Bret Jordan who is an author and artist. They were talking about writing and someone in the chat asked how I’d found the show. So I told them about The Bar and that I write vampires. Bret instantly offered to put a link to The Bar on his links page. Very, very cool. I really enjoyed the show and will be listening again in the future. Many thanks to The Mortal Vampire and Bret Jordan for the plug.

Well, it is Monday, and I do have a Marcus for you. First, I have to say that I am just totally in lust with Christian de la Fuente from In Plain Sight. This guy really pushes my buttons which doesn’t happen very often with celebs. I think I totally called it last Monday when I said he was headed for Marcus status. Not that he would ever take Marcus’ place. No man could do that. I’m more than in lust with Marcus. If I ever met him in person, I would be a babbling fool because he reduces me to complete mush. Really, both these guys more than float my boat!

Last week there was a call for a shirtless Marcus so I’ve got one of those for you today. He’s young here, not that he’s old now, but 39 is old for a model. I guess it’s part of his supermodel status that he still looks good and is still working. Not a lot of guys look as good as he does at 39. He’s certainly inspiration for me when I’m writing hot scenes. My muse doesn’t really help me with those. He just tosses a few Marcus photos at me and heads off to get drunk. He knows the Marcus pictures will invoke the hottest of sex scenes.

I want to call out my thanks to Jen from Redneck Romance Writer and Susan from West of Mars for giving my Zanctuary writing contest entry a lookover yesterday. I appreciated the time you ladies took to read the piece and give me your opinions. The rest of you will get to read Silver Lining after the contest is over. The inspiration came from my past (the dude from yesterday), from Marcus and Christian, from a Lady Antebellum song, and from stuff that happens to people online. It’s an emotional piece from the get go, and yes, there is a sex scene! YAY!

Hope you all have a great Monday with whoever floats your boat!

Can Vampires Be Gay?

The following is an outtake from The Bar. It’s posted in what we call the “Out of Context Forum” because it’s not part of the regular story, but does use the characters from the story. This post is dedicated to Miss Britt, whose own story was an inspiration to Lex.

Lex walked into the living room to find her eldest son staring at CNN. For a moment, she wondered when he had become like his godfather Stein. Then she realized he was frowning. Aric never frowned. Well, except for when he was pretending to be his Uncle Lucius. Usually, Aric was a very content little boy, if slightly serious. His younger brother Ahren was bright and amusing, the fun guy, very much his father’s son. Aric was more like his mother and uncle, which of course made him the apple of his grandmother Maddy’s eye.

“Aric? What’s wrong?” Lex asked as she sat down on the sofa beside her 8 year old son.

Aric looked at her with those steel blue Kohl eyes, so like his father’s, and those of his Uncle Lucius, cousins Johann and Sascha, and his grandfather Konrad. The puzzlement Lex saw in those blue depths made her realize something really was wrong. She reached out and gave Aric a quick hug.

“You know you can tell me and your father anything. Did something happen at school today? Or at Mary’s?” she asked gently, trying to get to the bottom of the odd expression in her son’s eyes.

“At school,” he finally said, his voice low and filled with confusion. “Someone told my friend Mark that he was gay. We didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded bad. When we went to Mary’s after school, Ahren and I asked Jason what it meant. Jason said it was a mean thing to say to someone. Then Jack said at least the kid didn’t call Mark a fag.”

Aric looked up at his mother with worried blue eyes. “Why are kids mean, Mom? And what is a fag?”

Lex’s heart turned over in her chest. No one had called her sons names, but both boys were inherently good children who didn’t understand why anyone would be mean to another. She bit back a sigh and drew Aric into the curve of her arm. She glanced up and saw her husband and bloodmate Alaric standing in the doorway with his brother Lucius and cousin Griffin. All three men looked like they wanted to hit someone. She shook her head slightly at them, then turned her attention back to Aric.

“Aric, remember how we had that talk about how some girls like to kiss girls and some men like to kiss men,” she began cautiously, hoping she was doing this right.

Aric nodded. “Ahren and I thought it was a little weird. I mean, we don’t want to kiss boys.” He wrinkled his nose then. “We don’t want to kiss girls either though. It’s okay when you kiss us or when Dad does or Grandma Maddy. We kinda expect our family to hug and kiss us.”

Lex turned slightly as a warm body wriggled onto the couch and into her other arm. She looked down into a pair of electric blue eyes very like Alaric’s. Ahren grinned up at her and leaned against her breast, his gap toothed six year old smile showing the buds of his fangs.

“I like it when Aunt Opal hugs me,” he told his mother with an emphatic nod. “She smells nice.”

Lex looked over Ahren’s head at Lucius, who was grinning. “You’re definitely one of your Aunt Opal’s favorite nephews,” Lex told him with a smile. “I know for a fact that your Uncle Lucius likes it when she hugs him.”

“She hugs him all the time.” Ahren made a face that was definitely a grimace.

“That’s what I mean, Mom,” Aric cut in. “When we grow up we want to be like you and Dad and Uncle Lucius and Aunt Opal. We don’t want to kiss boys.”

Lex frowned. Had the boys gotten the idea that kissing someone of the same sex was bad? The very idea horrified her. There were a lot of things she would tolerate in her children, but intolerance wasn’t one of them.

“Even though you don’t want to, it would be okay with your father and I if you did want to, Aric. Not everyone thinks like we do,” she stated cautiously. “When Jack said that it was a good thing that the boy at school hadn’t called Mark a … a … fag…” Lex stumbled over the word, her face a mask of distaste, “… he meant that at least the boy hadn’t been more mean to Mark.”

“But what is a fag, Mama?” Ahren asked, his pale face scrunched up in a look of puzzlement.

Lex glanced at the adult men in her life. Alaric looked pissed. Lucius didn’t look much different. It was Griffin whose dark eyes held an expression of deep empathy that made Lex realize he truly understood how she felt about her children being exposed to such cruel words.

She opened her mouth to explain to the boys, but stopped as Griffin came into the room and knelt before the couch. His dark eyes went from Aric to Ahren.

“The word fag is said by ignorant people,” he began. “Mean people who don’t understand that there are many different ways to love. They don’t understand, so they make fun of it and say cruel things. People who are gay love people of the same sex. The boy who called Mark gay was using the word like a curse word, in a mean way. Fag is a cruel name for men who are gay, men who love men.”

“Can vampires be gay?” Ahren asked cautiously. He was obviously thinking hard about everything that had been said.

“Our world has few restrictions, Ahren,” Griffin replied. “In the Otherworld, if you can dream it, you can be it.” He made a face then. “Apologies to Rocky Horror, but if the words fit…” He shrugged. “The point is, boys, that ANYONE can be gay. No one asks to be. They just are. The same as mean people. We don’t know why people are mean… they just are.”

Aric and Ahren looked at each other, and then at their father’s cousin. “We don’t like mean people,” Aric said solemnly.

His brother nodded. “We won’t ever use those words, Uncle Griffin,” Ahren promised.

“Maybe we don’t want to kiss boys, but we understand that just because we don’t want to do it doesn’t mean it’s wrong,” Aric stated, his words slow and thoughtful.

“Love is a good thing,” Lex told them, her throat tight with suppressed tears. “Don’t ever think that it’s not. When someone loves you, you are blessed, whether that person is a boy like you or a girl.”

Now, Lucius came into the room and sat on the arm of the couch beside Aric. “This is like the discussion we had about whether vampires are better than dragons,” he told the boys. “No one is better than anyone else. We are all just different from each other.”

“And sometimes we can’t help who our hearts decide to love,” Alaric said as he sat down on the couch beside Ahren. His long arm stretched out to brush back a stray curl from the side of Lex’s face. The love on his face for his bloodmate and his children was palpable.

“Ugh. You’re not gonna tell the story about how your heart decided to love Mom, are you?” Ahren groaned.

Aric made a little sound and frowned at his brother. “It’s okay when they tell that story. It just means they love us,” he said chidingly to Ahren.

“It means they love each other. That’s okay, but man, we’ve heard that story a million times already,” Ahren complained.

“You’re very lucky to have a family that loves you,” Griffin told them. “Maybe the reason that boy was so mean to Mark is because at home, no one loves him unconditionally, the way your family loves you.”

Aric and Ahren exchanged another look. “We have each other,” Aric told Griffin. “That kid doesn’t have any brothers or sisters. Maybe that’s why he’s mean.”

“Maybe one day someone will love him and he will stop being mean,” Ahren said.

“I feel sorry for him now, even though he was mean.” Aric and Ahren both nodded and the adults heaved sighs of relief as the moment passed.

“Do you think Gerda made cookies?” Ahren asked his mother.

Before Lex could answer, Griffin rose to his feet and held his hands out to the boys. “I bet she did. Let’s go see.”

As the three of them left the room, Griffin was heard to say, “Did I ever tell you about the time your Grandma Maddy tried to make me eat an entire plate of Gerda’s cookies with milk?”

“That was when she thought you were Uncle Lucius’ son!” Ahren piped up, his voice full of laughter.

“But Aunt Carlisle gave you her Chivas instead of the milk, right?” Aric asked, his own laughter joining his brother’s.

Lex looked at her husband and then at her brother-in-law. “This family really is blessed, isn’t it?” she murmured.

“We weren’t always, but apparently, we are now,” Lucius admitted.

“We’re a fucking miracle, Angel. That’s what this family is,” Alaric chuckled. “Another crisis averted.”

“It’s too bad we can’t eradicate the hate in this world as easily as we’ve all managed to find love in this family,” Lex murmured, leaning into Alaric’s embrace.

The Kohl brothers burst into laughter. “I don’t think our roads to love were very easy, Angel,” Alaric told her. “Luc and I both are just damned lucky. Our boys will be too. They have a loving family who teaches them that some of the most important things in life are love and tolerance.”

Lucius stood up. “We better hurry or Griffin and the boys will eat all the cookies,” he grinned.

As the three of them walked toward the kitchen, Lex said, “This family is the most tolerant I know. Look how they put up with Big Al the Drunkard and Luc the Procrastinator for so many years.”

Lucius looked at his brother Alaric over Lex’s head. “For that, I think we are owed her share of the cookies.”

A gurgle of laughter escape Lex. “Not if I beat you to them!”

The tiny petite Lex bolted for the kitchen, leaving the men in her family scrambling to catch up to her. The sound of laughter and love rang out in the big white house where love reigned supreme.

Sun Songs

When I write I sometimes have to have mood music. At the Bar, we often punctuate posts with a song that the writer feels conveys or enhances the mood of the post. Since it’s such a sunny, happy day and I’m such a dark and depressed person, (it’s not just me, I swear! Neko is moping too because Motley is gone) I’m going to give you some of the songs from the Bar that convey happy moments either already posted or yet to come. They are what I call my Sun Songs. You can put them on, put the top down, and drive fast in the sun…

1. Count On My Love – Liz Phair

This is an Alaric and Alexandria song. It’s used after they’re married. Alexandria realizes that for the first time in her life, she has a man she can count on and a love that won’t ever end. After all of the horror she’s been through, this moment in her life is like a ray of sunshine and the sun isn’t ever going to set as long as she has Alaric. For Alaric, after having lost one bloodmate, and being given another one that he just wasn’t interested in sexually, he finally has a mate who is his equal, who understands his dark past and is just as grateful to have him as he is to have her.

2. 8th World Wonder – Kimberly Locke

Nyx and Valerian had a pretty rocky road to happiness and the bumps in their road aren’t finished yet. However, the whole first half of their story is about the two of them trying to accept that they belong together. Nyx is The McClaren, a reknowned spy and hacker. She’s used to being alone and is very resistant to the signs that Val is her mate. Valerian is emotionally damaged. Suffering from PTSS, he almost decapitates his youngest brother, thinking he was the enemy. In horror and anguish, Val trashes his suite down to the studs with his bare hands and then disappears. He ends up in a secret squadron of dragons called the Silver Shadows and spends his time smuggling kids out of the black sept. (Rather like smuggling people out of the Eastern Bloc during the Cold War.) The two of them are so used to being alone that when they finally come to accept that they belong together, it’s a huge moment fraught with tears and happiness and some really funny quips.

3. Only the Young – Journey

I used this in a post where Rhiannon reflects back on the last year of her life, where she finally came of age as a dragon (was able to change into her dragon form from human form) and met her mate Tobias. It was a year that included a huge threat to her life and that of her family, a separation from her family, and falling in love and being mated. For one of the youngest characters, she’s had a very rough year. As she’s crying over some of the mistakes she’s made, Tobias comforts her and lets her know that he supports her and loves her always. Then his brother Helios gives her a proxy to take his seat on the silver sept’s council, a very great honor. Afterward, Tobias asks Rhi to marry him. She says yes, but not now because they’re too young. So they decide that eventually, when the time is right, they will get married. For now, they are just beginning their lives together.

4. Real Life Fairytale – Plumb

Jen chose this song for the post where my character Matt finally asks her character Emmy to marry him. They are behind the veil, in the land of the fae, at Matt’s castle. They’re in the sun filled garden, dressed like characters in a fairytale, and little lights like fireflies are flickering all around them. The lights are Matt’s people, the pixies, who are delighted to have him come home with a mate. After everything Matt and Em have been through, from the time Matt is dumped by Carlisle and Emmy is dumped by Alaric, to all their run ins with the evil Daggon, this moment is shining and perfect for both of them.

5. Beautiful – Trading Yesterday

Bram meets Jensen and is instantly attracted to her. After centuries of being alone, he’s finally found a woman who excites him on every level. They go out a few times and Bram starts to realize she is IT. She’s everything he ever wanted and never thought he would have. I’m going to use this song in the post where he’s just made love to her for the first time, and he’s realizing that he’s got it bad for her. He starts thinking that after all the shit he’s gone through in his life, drug addiction, losing his band and his income and his self respect, maybe a happy ever after is in the cards for him after all. All because of this one woman.

6. Everything’s Right – Matt Wertz

Griffin’s having a tough time of things with his new family and his bloodmate, who just happens to have another mate as well. This song is earmarked for Griffin’s first real physical intimacy with his bloodmate Dante. It’s a moment that means a lot to him because of all the tension in his new family. For once, in all his weeks of upset and tension, everything seems to go right for him as he makes love to Dante for the first time.

7. Trees – Marty Casey & Lovehammers

Bianca and Spyder have gotten back together after being kept apart by lying relatives and circumstances that conspired against them. After giving Spyder a scare (he thought she might be dead) Bianca tells him she loves him. A very shaky Spyder says the same. He tells her he doesn’t care what caused the rift between them, he knows that they belong together. Bianca, who is a wildling, feels a return of her powers as Spyder makes love to her, and the plants in the room begin to grow from the force of her power and their happiness.

8. Something ‘Bout Heaven – Billy Gilman

Dai is the greatest soldier of the black sept. He’s been away from home for a long time. While helping his wyvern regain the sept, he meets a woman named Kyara. Kya is one of the Silver Shadows, part of Valerian’s unit and former girlfriend to Valerian’s brother Helios. When she meets Dai she instantly puts her foot in her mouth. Eventually, on the eve of the battle to regain the black sept, the two get together. They’ve acknowledged their love for each other. They’ve been living together, but so far, they haven’t mated. Dai wants to wait until he goes home to take up his new job with the black sept. When they arrive in Wales and settle in, he finally mates and marks Kyara. When this post happens, this will be the song that accompanies it.

9. Good Times – Tommy Lee

This song was one of the songs in Dominic’s Orphaned Dragon Benefit concert at Club Insolent. It was supposedly one of Dominic’s songs, written about his friends, and about how life gets filled with crap, but it’s okay to set that all aside and enjoy yourself. Dominic’s role in the story thus far has been as a mentor and a savior. He’s the thousand year old vampire with a history no one is quite sure of except that he and his brother Blake were once Knights Templar and that they have “Holy Swords”, imbued with a power that kills anyone and anything that has evil in it’s soul or intent. Dominic hasn’t had a hero role in the story yet, but his day is coming. His mate is a woman with a dark past who thinks she has no future. Rather like Dom himself. She’s also the sister of the woman he always thought was his bloodmate. It’s a twist of fate when the two discover the truth.

10. Glorious – Natalie Imbruglia

This last song is a really bubbly pop song, but it just gets me. Not sure why. I have this song earmarked for when my character Tarren and Jen’s character Helios finally mate. Tarren’s been begging for awhile, but Helios is adamant that he doesn’t want to do it unless the timing is right. He thinks it should be a joyous time, not something driven by fear or anger. This song is meant to be played after they have mated and marked each other. Helios’ mark on Tarren will be a sun, rather like the Bulgari sun. I haven’t figured out yet what Tarren’s mark on Helios will be. In my mind’s eye, I see Tarren standing on the top deck of the yacht, spinning around in the sun to this song, her joy in life and in Helios completely unbound.

Here’s one extra song that isn’t quite a sun song, but it does have a positive message for all of us who have been a little achy lately. At the Bar, this song is for Ainsley whose life has always been dark. Once freed from her father’s legacy, she finds herself, her mate, and love… just like the song says.

One Day You Will – Lady Antebellum

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will

Hope you enjoyed the Saturday Sun Songs!