The Vampire Show

At dinner tonight, Motley and I were talking about the blogger radio shows. I told her that I’d been joking in Fab’s chatroom about doing a Vampire Show. She actually thought it was a good idea. She said she’d be on it. Well, she also said she’d be on Fab’s show. Should I tell him? LOL

Personally, I don’t think I could do a weekly show. I mean, wouldn’t I run out of things to talk about? I could go the route of guest hosts and guests who write vampire fiction… but I’m still skeptical. Eventually, there’s nothing left to discuss once we’ve gone through all the cemetery stuff and all the vampire stuff. Wouldn’t me talking about writing and characters be totally boring? I think I’m boring. I figure I must be, cause it’s not like people are knocking down my door to talk to me.

So, I dunno. People seem interested in the cemetery and vampire stuff. Jason X over at the User Pool has used my vampire info as a yardstick against which he’s measured his lover Blair, whom he feels is a bloodsucking vampire. Personally, I think she’s more of the soulsucking type, which makes her a demon from Atersilex at the Bar. I guess I’m sorta on shaky ground cause a lot of people aren’t into vamps. Look at my comments. You’ll see a few of those folks.

The other thing is that there are a lot of radio shows already. Aren’t there just too many for people to keep up with now? Who would listen to me babble when they don’t have time for all the more established blogger shows? Motley suggested I have a basic poll and ask readers to vote. You don’t have to comment, but a vote is appreciated. Should I do a show or not? Cast your vote in the sidebar on the right. If the survey says… YES, then I’ll be back with a poll that is more specific about things like when and where and how long and how often. (Not often. As in, not weekly. No. Effing. Way.)

I suppose I should thank Dragon (did I link to the right person?) for being so enthusiastic about this idea at Fab’s chatroom last week. If no one votes or the votes are negative, I’m blaming this post and poll all on her. Heh heh.

One last thing before I go… Motley still hasn’t downloaded the pic of me at the picnic. Here’s a pic taken by one of the embalmers, Christina. In front of me is my beloved giraffe purse. This was pretty much my set company smile. The LOL caption on this pic at the office is: I may be smiling now, but touch the giraffe and you die!

OH! I almost forgot my big Pimpin Friday! It’s Freaky Frakkin’ Friday at Secondhand Tryptophan. Stop by and YOU could win a prize!

TT the 17th – Vampires

This Thursday Thirteen is about the Bar vampires. Thirteen facts about them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you know these bits of info. These bloodsuckers are nothing like Dracula or Nosferatu!

1. The Bar vampires are not the undead. In the Otherworld, they’re basically another species. They eat and drink and can be injured. They procreate. They have sex… a lot. That doesn’t sound too dead to me.

2. The vampire deity is the Mother of All Vampires. She has a cauldron full of golden orbs that represent her children. She works very hard to match them all up with the right bloodmate. Her daughter is Damaris Fontaine, the Blood Mistress. Damaris runs Les Lignées aka the Library. The Library contains the annals of the vampires. Everything that happens to every vampire of every race including made vampires, is cataloged in the Library. The Blood Mistress has a sister Maerne, who is the Queen of the Atersilex Vampires. Because their mother is the Mother of All Vampires, the sisters have some unusual powers, including powers over other vampires.

3. Aeturnan is the ancient language of the vampires. Letalis is the vampire term for humans.

4. The Bonding process is what vampires go through to become joined to their bloodmate. A bloodmate or bonded bloodmate is the term for a vampire’s eternal mate. Cherished One is an endearment, which is also used as the proper name for a bloodmate. For Otherworld vampires, their Cherished One’s blood is sacred. Once they are bonded to their bloodmate they can only drink that person’s blood or they will die.

5. Our vampires go through several steps in order to bond with their bloodmate. These steps are called the Bonding Path. The path consists of several points which must be completed by the couple. The path does not have to be done in order however, all points along the path should be complete by the time the exchange of blood occurs. Once the path has been completed, the male vampire receives his soul and his thoughts and emotions become one with his bloodmate’s. They have to work very hard to hide things from each other once they’ve been bonded. The bonding path points are: The Finding, which is an initial recognition of the bloodmate, often in some psychic manner such as sharing thoughts, recognizing their particular scent, or sharing a dreams. The First Bite, which is one of them biting the other, but is not necessarily a reciprocal bite. It is an act that signifies the trust between the bloodmates, an exposure of vulnerability. The Second Bite is a bite that occurs during the sex act and doesn’t have to be reciprocal. If the first bite took place during a sex act, then the other partner (if also a vamp) must be the biter this time. The Sacrifice is a selfless act for the benefit of the Cherished One. The Blood Exchange is the final part of bonding. It must be a mutual exchange of blood during the sex act, whether both are vampires or not.

6. Female vampires are called Mortiferians. They do not need to feed as often as males do. They do have souls, but on occasion something happens to make them soulless. For example, Alexandria’s bonded bloodmate is killed by the Nazis. Normally, if a vampire is bonded and their bloodmate dies, they die as well, but in Lex’s case, the vampire deity saved her life by taking back her soul until she mates again.

7. Male vampires are called Acerbians. Male vampires who were born without a soul are Desperians. If their parents were bonded at the time of conception they are born with a soul. Otherwise… no soul.

8. Otherworld vampires can go out in the sun with protection especially if they are very old. By protection I mean a hat, a coat… covering their skin. If they get in the sun they get burnt and can get sun poisoning, a condition that can kill if not attended to. They don’t go up in flames or turn to a pile of ash. They also do not need to sleep the entire day away. The older they are, the earlier they can rise.

9. Vampires who are “made” are called Infuscans. A made/turned vampire will have all the attributes of a born vampire. However, they cannot make/turn vampires themselves, they may or may not have a bloodmate, and they would be unaware of what they can and cannot do. A born vampire must explain it all to them.

10. Pravus are rogue vampires, more commonly called Hellbounds. They are evil and without conscience. They become Hellbounds by virtue of a blood disease something like AIDS, which is hereditary. It is passed from father to son. Hellbounds are never female unless they have drunk the blood of a Hellbound male.  The Hellbound blood disease causes madness and a desire to kill and hurt others. They stick together, sort of in a pack, and hide from other vampires otherwise they would be hunted and destroyed. The disease manifests itself within the first 100 years of life unless the male’s mother was some creature other than a vampire, in that case the disease can stay within the vampire male until something triggers it. Then the degeneration begins, a downward spiral into insanity and a lust for blood, violence, and evil.

11. Vampires in the Otherworld are immortal, but can be injured or killed. You can stake vampires or grievously wound them so that they bleed out and die. If you blow their head off they will die. Otherwise, something more minor will just cause them to have to spend a few days healing.

12. Otherworld vampires have more physical strength than humans and other Otherworld creatures except for those with special powers. They have exceedingly strong minds and can use glamour to wipe a human’s mind or control them. Glamours do not work well on other vamps unless the one putting the glamour on is very old and powerful. It can work on some Otherworld creatures depending upon how strong that creature is and what powers they have. For instance, a glamour might work on a werewolf or a pixie, but not on pixie royalty.

13. Our vampires cannot dematerialize as they do in some stories, they are not affected by religious icons or holy water (except for the Hellbounds who burn if hit with holy water), their fangs only elongate and appear during times of stress or great emotion, in sexual situations, or in a situation of fear or violence. They do not go around biting humans indiscriminately, and they don’t go around killing humans to feed. They can easily drain a human and kill them, but they don’t unless it is some kind of fight for survival. When they bite, they lick the wounds to seal them and they usually begin to heal immediately, fading before your eyes. An exception to this occurs when the bitten one is a pregnant female vamp. Pregnant vampires heal more slowly from everything. Our vamps do drink bagged blood from the blood bank if they don’t have someone to feed from.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Hope you enjoyed this look at our bloodsuckers! May all your bites be yummy ones today!

Fang Tune

Here’s a little vampire tune from my Imeem uploads. Even if no one else likes it, I think Marty might. He likes a lot of the same stuff I do.

There’s a writing contest at Zanctuary so I’ve been mulling over ideas. I have a lot of older stuff I could rework, but I’m thinking of something new. The idea has been bouncing around in my head all day. I can’t say anything about it or I won’t be able to use it in the contest. Suffice to say that it has to do with an adage.

In other writing news, I’ve been working on The Lexography. My intent is to see if the key posts from the Bar that have to do with Lex can actually stand alone to tell her story. My sense is that there will be too many confusing things because of the other missing posts. We’ll see though. I’ve wanted to tell the story of a girl with fangs without the trappings of the Bar, but I’ve been reluctant to try. This is going to be an interesting experiment.

Motley still hasn’t downloaded the pic of me at the picnic. Today, I’m feeling the burn… the sunburn that is. My nose hurts. My face is kinda red, and there are a couple of ouchy patches on my arms. However, the discomfort was alleviated by the arrival of The Best Damn Button in the Universe! (TWKS) Yes, I received a button from Karl of Secondhand Tryptophan. Who knew that the man had such great handwriting? Seriously, thanks for the button Karl!

I’m on a mission to buy blogger shirts. One per month. I have a Zombies Ate My Brain shirt coming from Blogography. Next up is a TWKS shirt. After that, I’ll probably get a Socially Dead shirt. Then an Avitable shirt, and so on and so on… Eventually, I hope to have an entire blogger wardrobe!

Hope you enjoy the vampire song and if you feel like reading my girl with fangs story, stop on by The Lexography. Tuesday tongue kisses, beautiful people!

Heated Humpday

Do you hate it when the alarm wakes you? I mean, that IS it’s job. However, I seriously hate it when the alarm wakes me. I don’t like be startled for one. I like to be already fully awake when it goes off so I can shut it off without fumbling. Well, the past few mornings, my alarm has awakened me. I am so irked! I’m not sure why my body is so tired. At any rate, I think I’ll listen to it and hobble off to bed to watch CNN until Larry King’s croaky-ass voice puts me into the land of Zzzzzzzz. Before I go, let me entertain you by cranking up the heat…

Yeah, I used Avril Lavigne in the Bar. She’s the physical representation of Kendall Reed. Here’s her intro to the Bar as told by Darrien Ellsworth.

She was so intrigued by the vampire punching the dragon that her fangs were half down. The sight of those fangs had me half out of my seat. Her overall package was hot. She was of medium height with long straight blonde hair that was black underneath. Her body was definitely sizzling. She wore a black pleated school girl skirt with red plaid pleats, a black tank top that barely covered her belly button and didn’t reach the waist of the skirt, black leather cuffs on her wrists, and black Converse high top sneakers. Around her neck were several silver chains and on one hung a huge black star. She looked good enough to bite.

I made my way over to the VIP bar where she’d taken up residence at one end. She’d come in with four guys, but they’d all disappeared. As I walked toward her, I decided she looked sort of familiar, but I just couldn’t place where I would have seen her before. I bellied up to the bar next to her and asked the female bartender for a Vampire’s Revenge. The bartender cocked an eyebrow at me in a sarcastic way, but started making the drink.

“Not very subtle are you?”

The husky voice was that of the woman I’d been checking out. I turned toward her with a little smile quirking my lips. “I can be, but what’s the point most of the time?” I told her.

A laugh escaped her. “Subtlety isn’t my strong suit either,” she admitted.

When she spoke, I could see those fangs, and I suppressed a shiver of lust. Her blue eyes gleamed. I could swear she knew how I felt. “Your accent, it’s Welsh, isn’t it?” I asked her as I took my drink from the bartender and paid.

My blonde nodded and tilted her chin toward me. “Yours is pure boarding school English,” she replied. “Like Prince William or something.”

I shrugged. “I went to Eton,” I admitted, not telling her that I’d gone to Eton in 1805 and not with the current Prince William.

She took a swallow of her ale and then licked her lips. My eyes were drawn to the movement of her tongue, and she chuckled. “Not with Wills, I’d bet,” she said catching me out. “How old are you?”

“Two hundred seventeen. I was born in 1790.” I didn’t mind telling her the truth. There was nothing to be gained by lying.

“So old,” she laughed huskily. “I’m the same age as Rune. I was born in 1954.”

“I’m not old. I’m considered very young for a vampire.” I jerked my head toward my table where Sebastian sat. “My brother’s a hundred years older than me.”

The blonde looked over at my brother and pursed her lips then her eyes returned to mine. “I’m Kendall,” she said holding out one hand with short black painted nails.

I shook her hand, ignoring the frisson of awareness that went through me when our skin touched. “I’m Darrien Ellsworth.” She smiled at me again and the sight of those fangs just rocked me. Then it dawned on me where I’d seen her before. Her name had given it away. It had been on a poster advertising a club in London. She was a singer. Kendall Reed.

“You’re a singer,” I said, wondering how she was going to react to me recognizing her.

She stiffened, and I realized that recognizing her was not going to be a good thing. “Yes,” she said curtly and knocked back the rest of her ale, setting the tall glass on the bar. “Excuse me. I’ve got to find my guys.”

“Your band?” I asked her curiously. She flashed me the coldest look I’d ever gotten from a woman.

“Yes.” Her reply was tight and angry. I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong but she’d gone from warm and amusing to an ice cold bitch in the blink of an eye.

She started to walk away, and I caught her arm in my hand. “Wait a second, Kendall,” I said in a carefully neutral voice, hoping to soothe her. It didn’t work. She turned on me with a hiss and a flash of fully dropped fangs.

“Don’t touch me.” She jerked her arm from my grasp. “Men like you are NOT my type. You fucking suck.”

Yeah, she’s a bitchy one alright. Heh. Her story will be told as soon as some other storylines wrap up.

Next, I dug into the archives to give you a piece of Lex Valentine Kohl’s past. This is Chris Evans, who is the physical representation of Johann Kohl, Shinygal’s character. At one point, Lex and Johann sorta had a thing going before she met his cousin Alaric and fell in love. Here’s a taste of Lex with someone other than Alaric.

No one understood me. They all thought I was megabitch Lex, cold and unfeeling. Only Carlisle and Dominic had any clue how much I longed to have my life back, to feel close to someone and feel loved again. No one understood how the real me wept brokenheartedly behind the facade of the cold bitch.

Despair rose within me. I fought it, but I was too weak, and it overwhelmed me. I began to sob as everything I longed for, and everything I felt, became too much for me to bear. I rolled across the bed, reaching for a pillow, but got tangled in the sheet and fell to the floor. I scooted back into the corner that was made by the wall and the side of the bed. I drew my knees up and pressed my face to them as I tried to stem the tide of uncontrollable sobbing that welled up from deep within me.

A muffled curse came from the bathroom door and, even in the depths of my despair, over the sound of my sobs, I felt Johann’s presence standing over me. “Holy Mother, what’s wrong, Lex?” I heard him move. Then I felt the warmth of his body next to me on the floor.

“Go away,” I told him, not lifting my face from my knees.

“No,” he insisted. “I can’t leave you when you’re this upset.”

I cried harder, my whole body shaking with it. I wrapped my arms around my updrawn knees, hugging myself. I couldn’t bear to have him see me like this. I couldn’t bear for anyone to witness this, but most especially Johann. I felt his fingers brush the bare skin of my arm. I jerked my head up from my knees, baring my fangs at him, my eyes feral with pain. “Go the fuck away, Johann!” I snarled, snapping at him with my fangs.

“Not a chance,” he said grimly, his steel blue eyes determined.

My heart sank as I realized the wild anger in me wasn’t going to scare him away. I dropped my face back onto my knees and moaned, begging him, “Please, Johann. Please, please just go away. I can’t bear this.”

I felt his fingers burrow beneath my hair and then between my chin and my knees. He lifted my head and pulled it toward him so that our eyes met, his serious and concerned, mine crazed with pain. He gazed deeply into my red rimmed, tear swollen eyes, and I knew he saw the soulless despair that I couldn’t hide. I’d seen myself in a mirror before when I’d been like this. The loss of my soul made my eyes look like two gaping holes swirling with unfathomable pain and despair. It was horrifying and ugly.

After staring into my eyes for a long moment, a small sound escaped Johann. He reached out and gathered me into his arms, dragging me onto his lap as he sat on the floor. His thighs in the soft sweats were hard beneath me. I could feel the tensile strength in his bare arms as they curved around me, his hands stroking soothingly over my naked shoulder blades. I sat stiffly for a moment, the tears and sobs still racking my body, but as his hands pressed against my spine, I let the pressure move me into the curve of his warm body. Suddenly, I wrapped my arms around his rib cage, and with my face pressed to his hard naked chest, I let go. The pain filled sobs tore through me violently, but his body absorbed the hard quakes and shudders as he held me tightly, soothingly.

As my sobs lessened, I felt Johann’s hands in my hair. “Tell me,” he whispered.

I lifted my head for a moment and looked at him. His pain was there in his blue eyes, not hidden as it usually was. I saw his own despair at being left without his bloodmate, and I knew he had discerned what was wrong with me. I was a mess. My hair a wild froth, sticking to my wet face. My eyes were swollen and my skin blotchy from the rage of tears. Certainly, I was not in the least desirable, but in those few seconds of recognition of a mutual pain, he looked at me with an incredible wealth of sorrow, desire, and the indescribable need to be with someone who understood what rippled beneath the surface of the faces we showed the world.

“I saw the story in the paper about you losing your bloodmate,” I said in a hoarse whisper. “They made it sound like it had never happened before.”

“But it did. It happened to you,” he said in a low tone.

A tender moment from Johann, who later turns into a raging asshole after he and Lex break up. Still, Chris Evans is a hottie, as is Avril Lavigne. We tend to choose some really good looking people for the Bar. It’s easier to write the characters when you want to lick them yourself. Hee hee.

Hope you enjoyed the heat. I’ll be back tomorrow, but I have no clue what I will be posting. Ooooh! Don’t you love a mystery? MUAH, peoples!


It’s been a tough day. I had a number of decisions to make. I’m not going to go into all of them right now, but suffice to say that this blog will be a-changing! Soon. Changes for the better. The downside is that you’ll all have to update your blogrolls because a new address is part of the package.

Part of the changes coming to my “Batty” blog are due in part to the fact that I have weiners, er winners for you! Yes, the tagline search has come to an end. An unexpected end. Here’s the deal: I loved everything that was offered up. I couldn’t make up my mind. David from BellaDaddyBlog sent me “Fangs For the Memories”, but that’s the name of a Kathy Love book. (A really good book too!) I liked the Absurdist’s “Sunlight Is Overrated”. I liked it a lot. But it reminded me of Britt’s tagline. I’ll come back to this tagline in a minute.

So, I was still pondering the taglines while Jester helped me out with the new WordPress theme. I mentioned to him how I changed the verbiage on the Comment Luv to say that it’s trying to sink its fangs into your last post, please wait while it finds a vein. Jester laughs and replies, “I vant to suck your blog!” BINGO. My kid and I both went, “THAT’S IT!” In one fell swoop, without even meaning to, Jester won.

Now, going back to the Absurdist’s tagline, I kept mulling it over in my head because I really did like it a lot. However, to move the idea away from Britt’s tagline, I kept thinking of it as “Sunlight Sucks”. Last night, while letting WP kick my ass and make me cry, I got the idea of just moving the whole kit and kaboodle. I mean, wouldn’t it make it a little harder for the hunter from my office to find me? Not that I’m hiding. I’d just like to make it harder for them on principle. So the Absurdist also wins. I registered tonight.

And there we have it. Two weiners, er winners! Congratulations to Jester and the Absurdist. I am going to try to make a t-shirt with the bat logo on it now. If that doesn’t work out, they can still have the Bar t-shirt. A t-shirt with fangs. Yummo. Thanks to everyone who participated. I appreciate the effort you all put into my need for a tagline.

One last thing, thanks to everyone for visiting Socially Dead. My kid has now pasted her underwear clad ass on her new blog for Half Naked Thursday. She even offered a crotch shot for next week. OY. How did I know she would fit in this well? Happy Friday to all! MUAH!