Contests, Schmontests

I like a good logic puzzle. I do not like it when I can’t solve something or when there is no way to solve it. So the Air France thing is driving me bonkers. It has spoiled CNN for me. I mean, they play the darned commercial every half hour it seems. And no one, not one of you out here, knows how to find this guy. I’m even giving away a fanged t-shirt and no one can find the winner. Maybe I need to give away the fanged clock, fanged pillow, fanged hat, or fanged boxers instead. What do I gotta give away to get an answer? *sigh* I’m so depressed over this. I hate it when there is no solution to a puzzle.

Mr. Fabulous is going to give out info on his cleavage contest tomorrow. This is great! I have just the picture for him! Me and a black satin Fredericks of Hollywood corset. Unfortunately for me, the PITA bought a leopard print bra yesterday at Frederick’s and gave me a pic for submission to Mr. Fab’s contest. Apparently, she liked the Amish clay man on Fab’s blog. I don’t think I stand a chance against 18 year old double D’s. Well, tomorrow he’s posting the rules, so maybe I can beat her that way. Maybe she’s not eligible. *EG*

I visit Blogs We Luv on occasion. Today I was over there and noticed that they are having a contest. Ooooh… contest. So I checked it out. To get more entries to the contest I had to answer 10 questions about my blog. That wasn’t so hard. I mean, I like to talk about myself and the crap that I post. What’s that? You’re laughing over my use of the word “talk”? Okay, I babble. There. Ya happy now? Geez, the abuse a dork has to take even on the net these days.

Matt-Man over at Bagwine Ruminations gives out a major award each week. Since I was the recipient last week I had to go read the blog of this week’s winner and leave a comment. It’s really nice to click links and be taken to other worlds. Or rather, the world of other people. I am keeping the C.O.W. posted on my blog so that everyone who comes by knows that I said something of worth at least once in this life.

A little appreciation can go a long way toward making someone’s day go a lot better. Whether it’s winning a contest or an award or just telling them that they are “utterly fabulous” (thanks Nicholas!), the appreciation is well, … appreciated! I know that I appreciate all of YOU, who come by here to read my babbles and see the pics of hot men that I post. For you guys, if the PITA doesn’t qualify for Mr. Fab’s contest I will post her bra pic here, just to show you that I appreciate you! And no, I’m not pimping my kid out. The pic’s on her My Space.

I promise to get back to McKenna the writer and her hot model Rafael soon. I gotta get caught up at the Bar, and I’m dealing with some other issues here at home, but I haven’t forgotten that I promised to write the next installment. Maybe I’ll post some slimy Macaire from the Bar to tide you over. He was creeeepy this week. See you tomorrow for Marcus Monday!

Tagged… and Not With Graffiti!

My original plan for this post was to talk about the stuff I have on my plate currently at the Bar. However, I’m starting out my weekend post with a meme instead. I’ve been tagged. I looked at myself to see where the graffiti was, but couldn’t see it. The PITA asked me what I was doing twisting and turning in front of the bathroom mirror. So I told her. She snorted and said, “It’s a cyber tag, Mom. You can’t see it, which you know perfectly well. You’re such a dork. Always looking for blog fodder.”

She’s right. I am. If it’s not angles and ideas for the Bar Story that I’m on the hunt for, it’s blog fodder. I’d be an ambulance chaser if it gave me good fodder for my blog. You see, I struggle to be amusing. It does not come easily to me as it does to say, Matt-Man of Bagwine Ruminations, Mr. Fabulous of Pointless Drivel, or Diesel of Mattress Police. In fact, I don’t think I am amusing. I think I’m a dork. If you all are chuckling, it’s because I’m a dork, not because I’m funny. So, first up is the meme:

I got tagged by Tempest from Midnight Moon Cafe… Ah, Tempest, Tempest! Why you tagged ME for this meme is beyond me. Well, maybe not. You probably thought I’d post some wild outrageous stuff, didn’t you? Heh heh.

Okies, here’s how the tagged thingy works.

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six random things about you.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your blog entry.
5. Let the tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blog.

Now, here it is, Six Random Things About Winter:

1. I was diagnosed with asthma at 31. Never had it before that. It’s a weird, probably genetic, thing in our family. Boys – asthmas as kids. Girls – asthmas after having kids, or turning 30-ish, whichever comes first. Velvet and I are now wheezing our way through our 40’s together, coughing and sucking on steroidal inhalers. (Velvet is my niece. I’m a year older than her. We grew up together.)

2. I’ve always had cats with odd names. Dirty Nose, Coffee Grounds, Skunk, Dummy, Swirly. I never named any of them either. All have passed to the Rainbow Bridge except for Dummy and Swirly who are also known as the Feral Brothers. We still have Skunk too in a sense… his ashes are in a gray marble urn on the entertainment center in the living room. He was really Rott’s cat, but I loved him too.

3. My eyebrows don’t really grow anymore. I don’t have to pluck them very much or very often. I guess I’ve plucked them so much, for so long, that the hair just doesn’t bother to grow anymore. And yes, the arch in them is natural. Do you think I like walking around with an expression of perpetual surprise on my face?

4. I hate shopping. I don’t like going to the mall or the grocery store. I buy stuff online, even my groceries. It takes sooo much less time and the parking is superior! I’m even kinda getting meh about the bookstore. The bookstore shopping has starting sucking because the paranormals and romances are one aisle over from the mangas in my Barnes and Noble. Those manga kids piss me off, sitting in the paranormal aisles, in my way, making noise. Grrrr. Okay, I’m officially in the I hate all shopping in person category now. Even the bookstore.

5. My kid, the PITA, made me a bracelet last year when she was into beads. I got her these cool skull beads from South America so she included a few on my bracelet. Four white skulls and a black one, plus some green and purple beads (her BF Tyler’s fave colors – not sure why she put them on MY bracelet lol), and letter beads that spell out MEEMO. Meemo is what she’s always called me. Well, until she got older. Now, she only says it when she’s wheedling. Meemo stands for Mean Mom. I wear that name like a badge of honor, I tell you.

6. My sex life had always been feast or famine until I met Rott. I went 2 years without having sex with a man and then ended my drought by having a slut year where I screwed my way through about 14 guys. I know. I’m a baaaaad girl. I was 26 or 27 at the time. My parents had both just died. Call it Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It sure sounds better than saying it was a slut year.

Here are the people I’m passing this lovely bit of internet graffiti on to: Mary, Mr. Fabulous, Shiny, the Libertine, Susan, and Nicholas. I can’t wait to see how creative they get with this. *EG* I would have loved to tag Andrei Andrei, but since he is a quasi celeb, could I do that? I mean, he’d just blow me off, wouldn’t he? And yes, Nicholas, I know you did this one already, but c’mon! The last one you did was excellent. Here’s your chance to fascinate me some more. *wink*

Now that the meme is out of the way, here’s the post I had planned for this weekend… what’s on my writing plate at the Bar.

Weylyn Randall – My bi-sexual werewolf is on his way to a rendezvous with Isolde the pixie. She’s drunk and looking to get laid. Weylyn is always looking to get his were on. Should be a match made in sexual heaven. This is bound to be a very hot sex post.

Nyx McClaren – Her nemesis, the Fallen Angel Macaire, has laid down the gauntlet, but the ever resourceful water fairy/spy is busy trying to find her missing brother-in-law. She has a pow wow with the rest of the family, making plans to search for the missing Helios.

Lex Valentine Kohl – My petite pregnant vampire overhears her DH, Alaric the Asshole, on the phone with his brother Lucius. They are talking about their newly discovered cousin Griffin, whom the men do not trust. After the phone convo, Lex and Al get into it once again over the new BMW 5 series sedan that Alaric wants Lex to drive instead of her Mini Cooper. The megabitch lashes out at the asshole… do apologies ensue? Or do they just have angry sex instead?

Griffin Rothchild Kohl – The newest member of the Kohl family ponders his new relatives as he heads for a library to do some research on the Hellbounds vampires. At the vamp library, he meets a woman who is crucial to his destiny. Could she be his mate?

Althea Grenville – The youngest of the Fallen Angel Grenville sisters is in Norway with Lorenzo Moretti, searching for his best friend Antonio Blue. Althea is falling hard for Lorenzo, but knows that she cannot have a mate. The sex is hot between them and her feelings are riding high. Can she give him up once she helps him find Antonio? And what is that weird blue glow in Lorenzo’s chest?

Matt Havens – The Pixie Prince arrives back in the Otherworld with his fiancee, the fire elemental Emmy Morgan. Matt has to meet the parents and prepare to go back to work as a Calvin Klein underwear model. His mate, Emmy, has work too, now that she has a recording contract. Plus, there is an odd mystery going on in the Morgan family surrounding the disappearance and possible death of Em’s cousin Vanora. Can Matt and Emmy balance their careers with the drama in Em’s family and Matt’s obligations to his people behind the veil?

Tait Rockwell – The Queen of the Fairies is comforting Mace over the loss of his mate Vanora. At home, behind the veil, Puck is waiting for her return. She also has an obligation to the rockstar/vampire Rune. She’s supposed to help him finish his album. How can she continue to be Mace’s friend when he’s such a fuck up and her mate Puck is jealous as hell of her prior relationship with Mace?

Jensen Rudolph – My rare white werewolf has to break off her secret affair with Drey, the youngest brother of the man she’s been in love with all her life. Playing the dom to Drey’s sub was fun for awhile, and she’s taught him a lot about how to play the waiting game as the Beta in the pack. Once Drey’s gone from her life, does she dare to call Bram Steele, the vampire who is interested in her?

Dante DeAmbrose – The beautiful young vampire has to ditch her overprotective brothers Vaughn and Christian, with the help of her pal Lilith, in order to meet with Roman Wulf for another round of hot sex. Before she can do that, she has to run an errand for Christian. The errand changes the course of her life.

Bianca Frith – The wildling goes to Club Insolent with rockstar Rune, who is her mate’s best friend. Bianca’s undergone a makeover courtesy of Ruby Morgan and Rhiannon Blackthorne, but she’s still feeling the rejection of her lover and mate Spyder Burke. At the club, Bianca meets Spyder’s sister Gracie and runs into Spyder himself. A heated encounter in a dark hallway between Spyder and Bianca leads to more than either one of them was ready for.

Sterling McCarran – The new Fallen Angel, ex-CIA agent, is trying to find her place in the immortal world. She’s partnered with another new Fallen Angel, the son of her former lover Mace. Mal is handsome and lost in this world. In an effort to cope, Sterling takes Mal to her grave, the beautiful tomb that Mace had commissioned for her at Pere Lachaise Cemetery. Unfortunately, she runs into Mace there. How does she deal with a man she once loved, who has just lost his mate and unborn son? And how does she hide the fact that Mal is the unborn son he lost?

Tarren Griffith – My half black/half silver dragon is sitting in the bay window, waiting for her mate to return, and trying not to fear that he’s died. She is unaware of the fact that the rest of the Kronos family has arrived at a plan for searching for Helios. She’s also unaware of the fact that the evil mage Caden is responsible for Helios’ disappearance during the mission to eliminate the last black dragon death squad. As dawn breaks, Helios appears, flying toward the chateau, releasing Tarren from her watch. Will she hit him or hug him once they are together again?

The Bar is really heating up. Lots of exciting stories and hot sex on tap in the coming days. Okay, that’s it for me. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Leap Year Heat Brazilian Style

It’s Friday. It’s Leap Year. It’s time for we women to just kick back and drool and prepare for the weekend. So here is what I’m gonna do: First off, here’s my fluffy self. Yup. I’m half a blonde now. I hope my brains don’t take a hike as easily as my grey hair did.

Second, CNN is spoiled for me now. They keep playing that damned Air France commercial. Argggh! We have NO winners yet! This is very distressing. SOMEONE has to know who this guy is. Below is a link to the video of the making of the commercial. C’mon people! We gotta find him!

Okay, the last thing before I get into Brazilian Leap Year Heat is this: Here are two links for the guys. They lead to naked Kelly Monaco. View them judiciously with KY or Jergens or whatever greases yer palms. LOL The reason I am sending the men away is because this Friday’s post is for women and hot gay dudes. You straight men go visit the Kelly links and we’ll see you back here this weekend.

Naked Kelly Slideshow

Naked Kelly Video

Now, ladies, since the men are gone, we can get down to business. First of all, for those of you who adore a smart, smartass man wearing nothing but a white circle… visit here: Naked Matt-Man at Bagwine Ruminations

Now for our Leap Year Brazilian Heat, I begin with… the Verga brothers, aka Rafael and Alexandre. I have no idea how any of you managed to miss the fact that there are TWO Vergas. Oh, yeah. Double the heart throbbing, not to mention throbbing in other places. I personally cannot choose between them. They are both hot as f**k. Life is better when you can look at them. Don’t you think so? Click HERE to see Rafe naked. Rafe’s got a really handsome face and has been in all kinds of ads. He’s very popular in gay blogs too. I’m sure you ladies know why. Heh heh.

I think Alex is older, but when it comes to hot bodies there is not much to choose between them. I just happen to think that Alex has a little bit more of a “dirty boy” look in his eyes… like he would be down with all kinds of kinky fun. Rafe looks more like a beach boy. Alex looks like he’d say, “Wanna watch me…” I don’t remember all the ads they’ve been in but somewhere I have a Guess ad with Alex in it. Yum. BTW, at the Bar, Rafe is the visual for Dare Kronos and Alex is the visual for his older brother Valerian. They are silver dragons written by Opalgirl.

My next Brazilian is Andre Coelho, he of the luscious 501s. I have a whole series of him in those jeans, wet and dry. I don’t think the net could stand it if I put them all here in this one measley little blog post. Maybe I should make an Andre page on or What do you ladies think? Should I shoot my wad and show off all the Andre at once? Or should I dole him out to you a little at a time? You can leave me comments to alert me to your preference.

Just in case you happened to think that our gorgeous Andre was all body and no face, I’ve posted a second pic of him. Those eyes… I dunno about the rest of you, but they give me the shivers. Why don’t they make more men like this? I don’t understand how these Brazilians can stare at a camera like that. They make you feel like they are standing in front of you asking you if they can take their clothes off or take yours off. *Fans self* This is a very hard blog post to write. I need a bib. Seriously. And just so you don’t think I didn’t snatch this guy up to use as a visual for the Bar… I did. He’s Griffin Rothchild Kohl, a vampire.

My final Brazilian for this Leap Year is Rafael Lazzini. I always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, but after seeing this picture, now I’m panting to learn. I wonder if he would give naked lessons? Him naked of course. Me… drooling, yet again. Even in clothes this guy is hot and again, it’s the look in his eyes that captures my attention the longest. Sure, the hot body grabs my attention, but the eyes and the expression in them holds it. Men should always look at women like they want to devour them. We appreciate shit like that. Hell, we more than appreciate it. We’d kill for it. This Rafe is also an Opalgirl character at the Bar… Roman Wulf, a werewolf.

Have a happy HOT Leap Year everyone, and have a great weekend, filled with sexy people who look at you with eyes that devour you. If those pics up there got your engine revved and you want some good reading, come on by the Bar. We’re happy to have you read all the erotic posts that I can’t put up on this blog. That Alaric and Alexandria. WHEW! They are like bunnies! Every other Al and Lex post is rated XXX. If any of you visit you’ll find some XXX stuff in my portfolio there. My name there is cemeterywinter and the name of the piece is called Dante and Roman: Runaway Train. It’s about a werewolf and a vampire who meet on a train going from Prague to Hamburg. Basically, they take one look at each other and spend the journey in the sleeper car! Enjoy!

Save My Brain… Win A Prize!

My brain is overloaded and I am frustrated. I have been looking everywhere for the guy in this video. I saw an Air France commercial with a guy who looks like a skinny version of Marcus Schenkenberg. Shiny and I looked and looked for info on who the actor/model is. The longer I looked, the more tweaked I got. I HAVE to know who he is! In fact, I now need this info so badly, I’m willing to put up a prize for whoever can find out who this is, with proof that he’s the dude in the commercial. So posting in comments that it’s Joe Blow the model won’t cut it. Show me a link to a story with pics or a website, something, anything, that proves your submission is the correct dude. If you find the Marcus look alike you will win this prize: A lovely Bar t-shirt! Oooooh! It has fangs…

Here’s the video, your only clue:

Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, it’s time for a Tuesday tune. This band was popular in Southern California in the 80’s. They partied with all the best bands of the era, Motley Crue, Ratt, etc. The lead singer’s name is Jizzy Pearl. He used to have a website with webcams from every room in his house. LOL The people from the chatroom used to hang out in chat and watch Jizzy. It was hysterical some nights because he’d be falling down drunk and do weird shit. Mary, this should be one of your theme songs. I’m posting this for you, cause they say the F word every other line!

Now, for some eye candy for the women. Well, for Mary. This is a wallpaper. There is no pretty boy face to see here. Nuthin’ but carved male muscles… all grungy like, and so real you can smell the sweat. I have to say he doesn’t do much for me. I need a face with eyes that devour me. So all of you who, like Mary, enjoy an anonymous hard body that looks like it could take a licking and keep on ticking… click on this for the full size and download to your desktop.

One last note and then I have to go come up with a plausible excuse for begging off jury duty. Tuesday night I have a fluffy appointment. My hair has gotten so long I can tuck it into my pants in the back. The ends are ratty and stringy and not healthy. So I’m going to get it cut. If I’m feeling really brave, and let them talk me out of my hard earned dollars, I will get it colored too. If I do this and I like it, I’ll have the PITA take a pic of it for Wednesday’s blog. Thanks for reading!

Six Whacked Things Plus One Tune

My tune for this Tuesday is a little ditty that my friend Jen chose for us to use at the Bar. The first time I heard it, I went, WTF is this? But ya know, this song grew on me. I really like it now. I hope you play it a few times and enjoy it too.

So, Nicholas over at A Gentleman’s Domain did a meme about 6 non-important things/habits/quirks about himself. He sorta, in a gentlemanly way, challenged his readers to do the same if they so desired. Well, I didn’t have anything else going for Tuesday ‘cept the song, so I figured what the hell. Here’s six unimportant, whacked out things about me.

1. My daughter and I were born at the same time… sorta. My birth certificate says 12:41 am. Hers reads 12:41 pm.

2. I owned a Starsky & Hutch Gran Torino that I bought my senior year in high school.

3. I own a 6 foot tall inflatable giraffe. Thank you Mary, for a birthday gift that keeps on giving belly laughs and provides blog fodder.

4. I’m not that into sex toys. Fingers before vibrators is my reply when someone says, “I can’t believe you don’t like the rabbit!”

5. I lost my virginity in a grudge fuck. Yes, it’s true. I was that mad.

6. I have six holes in my left ear. By contrast, my right ear has but one. All the holes sport gauged earrings now, either 14 or 16 gauge, from a titanium twist with CZs (thanks Shiny!), to a sterling tribal flame, to a pair of titanium horseshoes. The left ear has 3 flesh piercings and 1 cartilage piercing at the bottom. At the top of the left ear is a double helix piercing. I got those last spring.

That’s all for today folks! Don’t all run screaming from the blog because of my holey ear! Have a great Tuesday!