The monsters in my life invade everything. My day, my night, my absolute everything. You see, the monsters are 2 feral cats and an arrogant kitten. My boyfriend tamed some feral kittens and that’s how I ended up with Swirly and Dum Dum (aka Dummy)Feral Cat. Otherwise known as the Feral Brothers.
The boys are about a year old now and in the past two or three months have gotten bigger and filled out. Okay, Dummy has gotten bigger and filled out. Swirly is still a skinny little thing afraid of his own shadow. They are very loving especially Swirly who likes to sleep with me and burrows under my hand as I sleep so I’m touching him. Dummy, so named because he’s a “big dumb guy” is a little more independent and lackadaisical. That’s Swirly with the big scared eyes.
The first thing anyone notices about Dummy is that he is beautiful. Exceptionally so. I just can’t get over how he turned into a big thick muscular butterball from the tall lean kitten he was before. I mean, I thought he was done growing he was so big, but oh, no! Overnight he seems to have become a big ass tom cat!
Now, added to this mix of the Feral Brothers is my daughter’s kitten, Neko aka Neko Monster aka Miss Sparta. This kitten is an attention whore and she has more energy than both boys put together. She causes a LOT of trouble! The boys were comparatively mellow until she came. She is wired out of her skull! If you’ve ever seen the Mean Kitty Song about Little Sparta the Mean Kitty on You Tube then you have seen Neko in action. She is just like Sparta.
These three monsters invade everything I do. Eating, sleeping, reading, working on the computer. Whatever it is that I am doing one or all of them will invade and mess with me. Usually, Neko Monster is the ring leader. I wonder how I’m gonna survive. I can’t eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom without the monsters. They sleep on my head, my legs, my stomach, my hands. They curl up around my feet if I’m on the toilet or sitting at my desk. They grab my legs when I get things out of the refrigerator. (They especially like the whipped cream can.) My life is a walking nightmare thanks to them. But I’m stuck. They’re so cute and lovable. I hate them and I love them. They make me laugh and they make me want to use them to make a field goal.
So I yell and curse and throw things at them… and let them sleep on me and eat off my plate when I’m done. Then I hear them purr and I know I couldn’t ever do anything really mean to them. Well, at least until the next time I try to put on my work shoes only to find a dried up cat turd they’ve been playing hockey with.