What Would the Neighbors Do?

I’m back from resting after my month long blogging and annual giveaway. I figured I’d start right out with a funny tale about where I live. I live in a canyon, literally on the edge of a hill. I look out my door and all I see is hills and cows. It’s a mobile home and yes, I live in a trailer park.

Since I’m at the end of the road, I only have one next door neighbor and I rarely see her. Her driveway is next to the backside of my house. Our mailboxes sit at the end of her driveway and the narrow walkway that runs along the back of my house. Most mobile homes have a back door on the carport side of the house. That’s true of her house, but not my house. My carport is wide, not long like most. You have to cross my carport to get to my porch and my front door.

Since my house doesn’t conform to the normal patterns it throws the mailman, the UPS guy and the Fedex guy for a loop. They end up knocking on our back door when there’s a package. Or if they are particularly stupid, they just leave it on the back door step and don’t bother to knock at all.

Now, my washer and dryer are pretty new. Not even two years old. Nice front loaders that we bought when we moved in. They’re just an eensy bit too deep for the washer and dryer space in our laundry room so, of course, that back door won’t open.

Rott tends to watch out for any packages we have coming. For awhile we had a decent Fedex guy who always figured out where the front door was. But most of the stuff we get comes UPS or US mail. The mailmen we’ve had out here? Seriously? They have the IQ of a dirt clod.  They never knock if there’s a package. The package is always left at the back door and it always looks like the moron tried to shove it in the mailbox first. Yep. Crushed box.

So Rott and I shop at a few places online. New Egg, Bath and Body Works, Amazon, Crutchfield, Wen…and Adam and Eve. Rott likes the anonymous looking packages from there. They crack him up mostly because we could give a doody if anyone knows we bought something from there.

The last thing we got from Adam & Eve (NSFW!) wasn’t a very big package. The names of the items were pretty amusing so we couldn’t resist. Anyway, Rott was watching out for the package. He figured it would come in a padded envelope and get shoved into the mailbox.

NUH UH. It got left on the back door step. The only reason Rott knew it was there was because the next door neighbor was standing on our sidewalk holding it in her hand. He heard a sound and peeked out the back door window and there she was. He bolted for the front door, around the front of the house and found her stand there turning the package over in her hands. Slowly, she handed it to him.

“Um, I was going to bring it around to your door,” she said. “I didn’t know if you’d already checked your mail today. Didn’t want the package to get left out. Looks like rain.”

And with that she back to her house. Rott went back into our house.  He thought about it for awhile and when I came home he told me the story. Then he tells me, “I think she was gonna steal it.”

I blinked. “Why would she steal it? She doesn’t have a boyfriend or a spouse that I’ve seen.”

“I dunno, but I think she was gonna steal it. She knew what Adam & Eve was and she was gonna take the toy.” He was adamant.

We looked at each other in silence for a long moment. Then we both went, “EWWWWW!”

Then Rott laughed. “Can you imagine what would happen if the old geezer across the street got it? That mailman’s dumb enough to get the boxes wrong. It could happen.”

For once, I really, really did not want to know what the neighbors would do.

And now some Lex Valentine news…Broken Bonds has been selling well and made it up to #5 or so on the Amazon gay romance list. But yesterday I got an email from ZAM because she saw that Broken Bonds had made it to #1 on All Romance eBook’s Top Ten List. WOOT! I was so excited! It’s an all around bestseller this little Christmas novella. It makes me really happy.

Before I go, I have to show off the cover I did for my friend author AC Katt. I can’t wait to read this book and I was so excited to do the cover for Jim’s story.

JacksBack_432

It’s sort of the sequel to A Matter of Trust so go read that one first!

One last thing, does anyone know WTF is up with the Twitter feed widgets? I cannot find one that works! Anyway, that’s it for me. I’ll be back next Monday with some other tidbits about my life and writing! Happy Monday!

winter-lex

 

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