You all know that my old man is kinda…different. Witness the growling cows statement from an earlier blog post plus a host of other things I’ve probably talked about but can’t recall right off the top of my sleepless head at the moment. Well, I’ve decided he’s even weirder than I thought which is saying a lot because we’ve been together 14 years.
Here’s the deal. We have a couple of fruit trees in our yard. One seemed to me to obviously be a lemon tree. He pretty much concurs that it is. The other tree has these freakishly deadly thorns and what appears to be oranges on them. I’ve always been undecided on exactly what kind of fruit it bears. The leaves look like orange tree leaves. It’s definitely a citrus fruit. Some of the fruit is orangey but most is yellow and not even a dark yellow like the lemons but pale. Granted, most of the fruit on this tree hangs in the shade and doesn’t get sun.
Anyway, one day Rott decides to find out just what the hell those are all over that tree. He braves the rattlesnakes (okay it was only 1 and it was sort of young and totally non-aggressive) and picks a fruit. He peels it and eats it. When I get home, he tells me he ate one and it was sweet and juicy and definitely an orange. I’m not one to argue with him so I figured, okay, we have pale oranges. Go figure.
Then, my pal ZAM sends me a juicer. I buy a bunch of oranges at Sprouts and made orange juice that kicked ass so hard I’ve been drooling for weeks afterward. Since I’m allergic to citric acid if I ingest too much at one time, I lay off the citrus stuff in the juicer until this week. I send Nikki out to pick the “oranges.” There are no rattlesnakes this time but she’s dive bombed by some huge ass insect called a hawk something or something hawk. It’s part of the wasp family I think. Anyway, between the bag Nikki picked and the box Rott picked (he got tired of her whining about the hawk bug and finished her job) I had a lot of fruit to juice!
On Saturday, I had Nikki chill the “oranges” in the fridge then peel them. I go into the kitchen prepared to juice, she hands me a bowl of peeled citrus and the scent of GRAPEFRUIT assails my nose. I break a couple of them open. Uh huh. Grapefruit. Nikki immediately says we should test them because how could Rott mistake a grapefruit for an orange? By now, I’m just thinking Rott must have ate a lemon or something before he tested that grapefruit and found it SWEET. No way are the fruit in my bowl oranges.
I juice 4 of them. I sip from the cup. EEEWWW that’s sour and bitter! It’s definitely grapefruit!
Now, I have a huge glass of the stuff and I’m not gonna drink it. Nikki sips it and makes a face and ponders if it’s fixable as a drink if we add other fruit and sugar. I’m like, EW NO.
I go on to juice some real oranges that I had luckily purchased in the store, not being all that positive myself that those big yellow fruits were oranges. I add strawberries to the oranges. OMG. Super sweet. The strawberries were awesomely sweet. Full of potassium too which I appear to need in abundance. I filled my huge beer stein mug and drank it all down. Damn it was good after that mouthful of grapefruit juice. Now, I just have to figure out what to do with the fresh squeezed grapefruit juice I froze…
Since it’s Monday, it’s time for a Marcus!
Wishing you all great Monday and a Happy 4th of July if you’re an American!