The Art of Winning

In the four years I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve probably written on this topic before. I don’t have the time this morning to slog back through four years of posts though so here I am all prepped to talk about winning an argument. Yesterday, Nikki (Motley) and I were talking about arguing with people on the net. I’ve been around the net long enough (18 years) to know there is an art to winning when people on the net are contentious. It’s simple really. You walk away.

Now, for those of you who say walking away isn’t winning, I beg to differ. First, you have to understand the very nature of arguments on the internet. You have people who feel emotion A about a subject. You have people who feel emotion B about that subject. Each side tries to convince the other to change their mind/stance. And they do this knowing full well that they have an audience who is critiquing their argument, some of whom back stance A, some of whom back stance B, some who like to stir the pot, and some who just enjoy watching the fur fly. This leads me to the key to winning.

People engaged in arguments on the net or who are watching or backing those who argue on the net are all in it for one thing…attention.  Therefore, the key to winning is to walk away. Give no attention to these people. Ignore their contentious behavior. You will come out on top guaranteed.

I know lots of you aren’t going to agree with me on this. One reason is because none of us can stop ourselves from correcting someone who has their facts wrong. This type of argument isn’t exactly the kind I mean though. I often have to answer argumentative posts on loops from people who think that just because I used Amy Grant’s Breath of Heaven in the video posted on this blog that I must be infringing on her copyright unless she gave me permission. Um, wrong. And I can prove it. Get your facts straight before you accuse me of copyright infringement. The video is posted to YouTube who has an agreement with most labels for the use of their music. And a lot of artists can’t give permission for the use of their music anyway. Oftentimes, their label owns the copyright not the artist.

So the people who want to be contentious about copyrights and videos need to be told the facts. I don’t argue with them. I state the facts baldly (as I have above) and I usually post a couple of links to articles on news sites about the agreements with the labels and a link to YouTube’s own blog that goes into detail about how the agreements work. End of the argument as far as I’m concerned. I corrected their misguided statements with the facts and at that point, I walk away because there is nothing more to be said. If the contentious person wants to keep arguing their point, they can talk to themselves and their minions. I’m not going to argue with them.

Arguing on the net is a waste of time and the ability to walk away from wasted time and emotion is definitely winning. You are not ever going to change the minds of contentious people. No amount of logic and arguing your points will make them change their stance. You truly need to understand this before you let one of these people suck you in. And those of you who get into these “debates” in order to support, protect and/or defend a friend need to be especially cognizant of the fact that you aren’t going to change anyone’s mind. The best defense of a friend is to teach them to walk away.

People left standing on their own screaming their stance like Chicken Little look pretty ridiculous and pathetic. And they look like losers. So learn to walk away from these people because it really is the only way to win.

Now that I’ve given my lesson on winning net wars, here’s another Marcus from a past post to cheer up your Monday.

A winning stance wouldn’t you say? 😉 I think so, but then I think his arms are pretty sexy. LOL I hope you all have a wonderful, contentious free Monday!

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24 Responses to The Art of Winning

  1. “Therefore, the key to winning is to walk away. Give no attention to these people. Ignore their contentious behavior. You will come out on top guaranteed.” I could not agree with you more! It is sometimes hard to walk away, but I find that I feel better about myself if I do. So state your point in a dignified way and walk away. That’s my motto.

  2. “Therefore, the key to winning is to walk away. Give no attention to these people. Ignore their contentious behavior. You will come out on top guaranteed.” I could not agree with you more! It is sometimes hard to walk away, but I find that I feel better about myself if I do. So state your point in a dignified way and walk away. That’s my motto.

  3. MonaKarel says:

    First of all, GREAT blog title, don’t know how I missed it before. Second, we see this time after time in the dog world. People who don’t have power anywhere else insist on trying to win nonsensical arguments just to give themselves some small feeling of control. It does no good to argue with them since they are convinced theirs is the only righteous word. They go from criticizing a dog to criticizing a judge to tearing into another person, and heaven help anyone who tries to apply logic or reason to the situation.
    I’ve decided the worst of them will be evil beings in my next books so I can burn them at the stake. Or push them off a mountainside. Or have them sucked up into a tornado. So many punishments, such a pleasure.

  4. MonaKarel says:

    First of all, GREAT blog title, don’t know how I missed it before. Second, we see this time after time in the dog world. People who don’t have power anywhere else insist on trying to win nonsensical arguments just to give themselves some small feeling of control. It does no good to argue with them since they are convinced theirs is the only righteous word. They go from criticizing a dog to criticizing a judge to tearing into another person, and heaven help anyone who tries to apply logic or reason to the situation.
    I’ve decided the worst of them will be evil beings in my next books so I can burn them at the stake. Or push them off a mountainside. Or have them sucked up into a tornado. So many punishments, such a pleasure.

  5. Lynn Crain says:

    This is the best blog I’ve ever seen about the art of argue – er – winning. LOL! People will do it just to say they were there. It gets so old after a while.

    And it isn’t much different if you’re doing it via email, Skype or however. Had to tell the kids 7000 miles away to grow up and figure it out. I wasn’t coming home to fix it for them…Mom trumps every time. LOL!

    Thanks for a wonderful post. I really enjoyed it and know it’s so very, very true.

  6. Lynn Crain says:

    This is the best blog I’ve ever seen about the art of argue – er – winning. LOL! People will do it just to say they were there. It gets so old after a while.

    And it isn’t much different if you’re doing it via email, Skype or however. Had to tell the kids 7000 miles away to grow up and figure it out. I wasn’t coming home to fix it for them…Mom trumps every time. LOL!

    Thanks for a wonderful post. I really enjoyed it and know it’s so very, very true.

  7. martymankins says:

    Its hard t walk away sometimes from a heatd conversation, but in order to keep the calm, it’s important to know when to walk away.

    A great post.

  8. martymankins says:

    Its hard t walk away sometimes from a heatd conversation, but in order to keep the calm, it’s important to know when to walk away.

    A great post.

  9. Erica Pike says:

    It’s hard not to say anything, especially if you feel someone’s being wronged, but it’s something I’ll have to do now. It’s nice to get a reminder like this once in a while to keep me on my toes. I haven’t been sucked into an online argument since my gaming days, which was a few years ago, so maybe I’ve grown a little ^.^

    As for the whole trailer copyright issue, I very much appreciate that you took time to inform me of things I didn’t know about. I’d never go and tell someone they were pirating, even when I was misinformed, but now that I know better I might actually attempt to make trailers myself 🙂

    • Winter says:

      I get the trailer thing all the time. I just wish people would bother to do the research themselves before they become accusatory. I don’t mind handing out the links to the facts, but I get a little annoyed with people who have self-righteous attitudes about something they clearly haven’t bothered to research.

  10. Erica Pike says:

    It’s hard not to say anything, especially if you feel someone’s being wronged, but it’s something I’ll have to do now. It’s nice to get a reminder like this once in a while to keep me on my toes. I haven’t been sucked into an online argument since my gaming days, which was a few years ago, so maybe I’ve grown a little ^.^

    As for the whole trailer copyright issue, I very much appreciate that you took time to inform me of things I didn’t know about. I’d never go and tell someone they were pirating, even when I was misinformed, but now that I know better I might actually attempt to make trailers myself 🙂

    • Winter says:

      I get the trailer thing all the time. I just wish people would bother to do the research themselves before they become accusatory. I don’t mind handing out the links to the facts, but I get a little annoyed with people who have self-righteous attitudes about something they clearly haven’t bothered to research.

  11. NJ Nielsen says:

    That was very insightful and so very true. I just don’t understand the wars, I think some of the reasons people get pissed and they start over the littlest of infractions – Me I have learnt to smile and nod. I now refuse to be pulled into anything (Okay, hopefully will never get pulled into anything – LOL).

  12. NJ Nielsen says:

    That was very insightful and so very true. I just don’t understand the wars, I think some of the reasons people get pissed and they start over the littlest of infractions – Me I have learnt to smile and nod. I now refuse to be pulled into anything (Okay, hopefully will never get pulled into anything – LOL).

  13. I could not agree more. It’s like I tell my dog, just walk away…

  14. I could not agree more. It’s like I tell my dog, just walk away…

  15. Cyn says:

    I am missing a Lords of Aether blog can you email me with it please please please.

    crozzy67@nctv.com

  16. Cyn says:

    I am missing a Lords of Aether blog can you email me with it please please please.

    crozzy67@nctv.com

  17. Cyn says:

    I guess I do another form of walking I quit talking to whoever I have been arguing with well really the only people that tend to argue with me is my kids and I just tell them Because I said to do it I do not care if you want to do it you will and shut up. LOL

  18. Cyn says:

    I guess I do another form of walking I quit talking to whoever I have been arguing with well really the only people that tend to argue with me is my kids and I just tell them Because I said to do it I do not care if you want to do it you will and shut up. LOL

  19. Jianne Carlo says:

    You’re so right, Lex. Simply walk away.

  20. Jianne Carlo says:

    You’re so right, Lex. Simply walk away.

  21. Great post, Lex. The nature of interacting with other human beings, whether it’s online or in meatspace, is that there are going to be conflicts. It can definitely be best not to feed those conflicts.

  22. Great post, Lex. The nature of interacting with other human beings, whether it’s online or in meatspace, is that there are going to be conflicts. It can definitely be best not to feed those conflicts.