Who Dares

I suppose I don’t talk about my emotions enough here. I just sort of skate along the surface of things. Mostly, I don’t feel that there’s all that much happening in my emotional life that I could fill a blog post. My life doesn’t vary all that much. Work, struggle, struggle, work. And write. Occasionally fight with Rott or Nikki. If I had to dig deep and pull out a bunch of emotions I suppose I could, but I just don’t feel the need to. I spend too much time putting them away so I can get stuff done.

When I do take them out and think about them, nothing changes so I just don’t do that a lot anymore.  It’s not living in limbo. It’s survival and I spend (and have spent) a lot of my life just trying to survive. Now that I’m actually writing books, a dream I’ve had for most of my life, I expend a lot of my emotion there. I give mine to my characters. It’s an easy way to express them and deal with them. And then I don’t have to come here and put so much of me out there for you to read. I mean, I say enough stuff that ya’all are always feeling sorry for me. Don’t need more. I feel guilty enough as it is for saying some of the things I do say!

At any rate, I got an email yesterday that made me think about love. Now, I think about love on a regular basis since I’m a romance author. But, sometimes I don’t think about it in more personal terms. Here’s what happened yesterday: I got an email (it’s a newesletter type blast not a personal email) from a popular cover model. He said he hadn’t posted any photos in awhile because he was suffering from a major broken heart and just hadn’t had the motivation to do anything.

Talking with a couple of other authors our first thought was who the hell would break this man’s heart? Yeah, he is hotness personified, but on top of that he’s NICE. Like really NICE. C’mon, nice guys who are hot do not grow on frickin’ trees! I mean really, who would dare to dump or hurt such an awesome guy? Obviously, a woman who doesn’t see what we see.

And there is the nutshell.

None of the nice guys I know deserve to have their hearts broken whether they are cover model hot or not. It’s just that we all assume that the hot nice guy has a lot more opportunities to find a perfect woman. Yet, while he may think she is perfect for him, he may not be perfect to her. She doesn’t see what we see.  Beauty, and niceness, is in the eye of the beholder always. Sure, there’s like thousands of us who think this man is amazing, but all it took was the one who didn’t to hurt him.

*sigh* Love sucks. We all know it. It’s why I make money at writing love stories. Because no one is immune from being burned. There is always someone out there who dares to break our heart. Lucky people never connect with that person. Some of us meet more than one. We salve our hurts and bolster our hopes by reading the Happily Ever Afters that romance authors offer.

I guess that makes it okay that I don’t come here and bleed out all over this blog. I do my bleeding in private and use it to fuel the stories that help other people who are bleeding out. I like that I’m giving people enjoyment. I like that I’m giving something back. And I like that my emotions and my struggles and my pain can be channeled into those stories that make others happier.

In Julia Quinn’s Romancing Mister Bridgerton, one of my all time favorite books, Colin is hugely jealous because the woman he loves has something to show for her life. Penelope has a body of work (writing a snarky column) that people talk about and that she will be remembered for. And he’s jealous that she has that when he has nothing. The jealousy makes him more possessive of her.  Which kinda turns on the reader and makes her adore Colin all the more. But the thing is, there’s that whole notion of pouring your emotions into something that gives to others.

So instead of me giving you the blow by blow of my deepest emotions here, I give you books filled with hope that even if your heart gets broken, it will mend. And not every person you meet will be one who dares to hurt you.  I strongly believe that everyone has someone, and sometimes more than one someone, who will make your life richer and make your heart soar. If I didn’t believe that, I would never write it into a book.

I know that you’re all expecting a Marcus today since it’s Monday, but in honor of an amazing man who didn’t deserve a broken heart, I give you Jimmy Thomas instead. He’s just as hot if not hotter than Marcus so feel free to drool.

Quick bit of news then I’m outtie. First, if you check the Lex Valentine blog, you’ll see my new hot cover from Ellora’s Cave. The book, Rock My World, is about to go into edits so I’m hopeful that you may see this book before the year is out. Also, Sunstroked, the next Tales book has gone to my editor so I believe it will be out in October. I’ve got a Veteran’s Day project in the works that is something from last year that was tabled and my Spellbound Treasure book should coming in the next couple of months too.

Wishing you all a wonderful heartbreak free Labor Day! MUAH!

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34 Responses to Who Dares

  1. Winter says:

    Thanks for coming by, Angela! I’ll have to go check out your site. 🙂

  2. Winter says:

    Thanks for coming by, Angela! I’ll have to go check out your site. 🙂

  3. Hi, Lex.

    I stopped over here because of the link on Jimmy’s FB page, and that was the first time I’d heard of him. The post his heartache inspired is great! As a fellow writer, I don’t express my emotions on my blog either, and never really gave that much thought until reading your words.

    With as many kind things as other authors say about Jimmy, I get the feeling that the person who broke his heart is truly missing out!

    Nice to “meet” you.
    Angela Cameron

  4. Hi, Lex.

    I stopped over here because of the link on Jimmy’s FB page, and that was the first time I’d heard of him. The post his heartache inspired is great! As a fellow writer, I don’t express my emotions on my blog either, and never really gave that much thought until reading your words.

    With as many kind things as other authors say about Jimmy, I get the feeling that the person who broke his heart is truly missing out!

    Nice to “meet” you.
    Angela Cameron

  5. This is my first visit to your blog (via a link from Jimmy on facebook)

    It is a risk to put yourself out there emotionally, whether on a blog or in a relationship. To chance being hurt, especially when you’ve been hurt before. It requires a different kind of strength and courage. The kind that isn’t often talked about.

    I met Jimmy for the first time at the RT convention in Ohio this year and was struck not only by how beautiful he is on the outside, but by the beauty of his spirit. He genuinely cares about people and animals and he does more than create beautiful images for us to admire and enjoy (which is wonderful in itself but he is so much more than that), he makes a difference in this world. And that is no small thing.

  6. This is my first visit to your blog (via a link from Jimmy on facebook)

    It is a risk to put yourself out there emotionally, whether on a blog or in a relationship. To chance being hurt, especially when you’ve been hurt before. It requires a different kind of strength and courage. The kind that isn’t often talked about.

    I met Jimmy for the first time at the RT convention in Ohio this year and was struck not only by how beautiful he is on the outside, but by the beauty of his spirit. He genuinely cares about people and animals and he does more than create beautiful images for us to admire and enjoy (which is wonderful in itself but he is so much more than that), he makes a difference in this world. And that is no small thing.

  7. Winter says:

    Thanks to everyone who came by after Jimmy posted the link to this post on Facebook. He’s a nice guy and I’ve always felt that nice guys often can’t catch a break in this world when it comes to love. Everyone loves Jimmy’s images so much it makes me wonder if I shouldn’t have a second day of the week where I post an image of Jimmy instead of Marcus! Maybe Jimmy Thomas Tuesday…Hmmmn. Sounds like a great follow up to Marcus Monday. 😉

    Marianne – My Veteran’s day project is a M/M novella about two Air Force pilots. It touches on the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy as well where the right to wed in CA leaves gays in the military. It’s not a paranormal story like the last anthology novella I wrote for MLR Press. It’s contemporary, but the characters are strong, hot, sexy, and I hope the storyline will touch the hearts of readers.

  8. Winter says:

    Thanks to everyone who came by after Jimmy posted the link to this post on Facebook. He’s a nice guy and I’ve always felt that nice guys often can’t catch a break in this world when it comes to love. Everyone loves Jimmy’s images so much it makes me wonder if I shouldn’t have a second day of the week where I post an image of Jimmy instead of Marcus! Maybe Jimmy Thomas Tuesday…Hmmmn. Sounds like a great follow up to Marcus Monday. 😉

    Marianne – My Veteran’s day project is a M/M novella about two Air Force pilots. It touches on the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy as well where the right to wed in CA leaves gays in the military. It’s not a paranormal story like the last anthology novella I wrote for MLR Press. It’s contemporary, but the characters are strong, hot, sexy, and I hope the storyline will touch the hearts of readers.

  9. Marianne Strnad says:

    OMG-I had no idea about Jimmy-what a crime! Lex, your blog broke MY heart!!! 🙁 As a medical technologist who works in the chemistry lab of the VA here in Seattle-and a budding writer and FF&P member, I am VERY interested in your Veteran’s Day project. Keep us posted Lex!!!

  10. Marianne Strnad says:

    OMG-I had no idea about Jimmy-what a crime! Lex, your blog broke MY heart!!! 🙁 As a medical technologist who works in the chemistry lab of the VA here in Seattle-and a budding writer and FF&P member, I am VERY interested in your Veteran’s Day project. Keep us posted Lex!!!

  11. Stephanie Williams says:

    This is a beautiful man inside and out, it will take someone very special to see that and appreicate it! Hang in there Jimmy, she’s out there looking for you!

  12. Stephanie Williams says:

    This is a beautiful man inside and out, it will take someone very special to see that and appreicate it! Hang in there Jimmy, she’s out there looking for you!

  13. Alannah says:

    I married and divorced young (20/21). I remember being in my mid-twenties saying, “If I ever get married again, it will be forever. Even if it’s awful, I’ll stick with it because I’ll never go through all this dating stuff again.”

    It’s so hard to put yourself out there, to get close to someone, and put your heart on the line. For everyone still looking for your HEA, I hope, from the bottom of my heart, you find the one who will handle your heart with care and be worthy of receiving it! And don’t settle for someone who isn’t deserving of it!

    Hugs,
    Alannah

  14. Alannah says:

    I married and divorced young (20/21). I remember being in my mid-twenties saying, “If I ever get married again, it will be forever. Even if it’s awful, I’ll stick with it because I’ll never go through all this dating stuff again.”

    It’s so hard to put yourself out there, to get close to someone, and put your heart on the line. For everyone still looking for your HEA, I hope, from the bottom of my heart, you find the one who will handle your heart with care and be worthy of receiving it! And don’t settle for someone who isn’t deserving of it!

    Hugs,
    Alannah

  15. Michelle U says:

    Loved the blog! I got the email and had the same reaction as everyone else. I’ve never met him, only a few comments exchanged on FB, but everything I’ve read about him has impressed me. Not only is he gorgeous and talented, but apparently he has brains AND is genuinely a good guy….a rare combination. I have no doubts he’ll get his happy ending.

  16. Michelle U says:

    Loved the blog! I got the email and had the same reaction as everyone else. I’ve never met him, only a few comments exchanged on FB, but everything I’ve read about him has impressed me. Not only is he gorgeous and talented, but apparently he has brains AND is genuinely a good guy….a rare combination. I have no doubts he’ll get his happy ending.

  17. Areana says:

    Sadly, Art imitates life all too well. Yes
    but as far as drooling…
    I don’t think I can produce any more LOL * I say as I wade waist deep yet again *
    Seriously, our subject is an extremely nice guy . I have no doubts he will be better than the Phoenix who will rise above all of this and shine even brighter as a result. Keep the faith my friend , Ta Leme.
    And to you, Winter, thank you for your blog, and much continues success to all
    Areana

  18. Areana says:

    Sadly, Art imitates life all too well. Yes
    but as far as drooling…
    I don’t think I can produce any more LOL * I say as I wade waist deep yet again *
    Seriously, our subject is an extremely nice guy . I have no doubts he will be better than the Phoenix who will rise above all of this and shine even brighter as a result. Keep the faith my friend , Ta Leme.
    And to you, Winter, thank you for your blog, and much continues success to all
    Areana

  19. Jodi Olson-author says:

    I agree with everyone, super nice guy along with being hot too. Have talked in a couple of emails, he is so sweet.
    Wasn’t happy at all someone broke his heart.Don’t like it at all.
    Jodi

  20. Jodi Olson-author says:

    I agree with everyone, super nice guy along with being hot too. Have talked in a couple of emails, he is so sweet.
    Wasn’t happy at all someone broke his heart.Don’t like it at all.
    Jodi

  21. Carol M says:

    Great blog post and I agree Jimmy is a wonderful,down to earth guy.I have never met him,only bantered with him on FB. In my opinion anyone who can stand in front of a camera and do what Jimmy does is well…special. You have to be,I imagine its ‘very’ hard work not only to keep his body looking wonderfully fit and natural looking whether he is posing with a Highlander’s broadsword or holding the girl all snugly like. But its a job and one to respect if done right and I think Jimmy is one of the best cover models I have seen.You are down to earth,like-able,handsome and talented. Oh and Jimmy?….without trying to sound like a ‘mom’ the one for you will come along and smack you upside the head when you are not looking for it…trust me you wont know what hit ya when it happens. I know from experience….my favorite saying? ‘All things cometh to him who waiteth,if he worketh like hell while he waiteth’…

  22. Carol M says:

    Great blog post and I agree Jimmy is a wonderful,down to earth guy.I have never met him,only bantered with him on FB. In my opinion anyone who can stand in front of a camera and do what Jimmy does is well…special. You have to be,I imagine its ‘very’ hard work not only to keep his body looking wonderfully fit and natural looking whether he is posing with a Highlander’s broadsword or holding the girl all snugly like. But its a job and one to respect if done right and I think Jimmy is one of the best cover models I have seen.You are down to earth,like-able,handsome and talented. Oh and Jimmy?….without trying to sound like a ‘mom’ the one for you will come along and smack you upside the head when you are not looking for it…trust me you wont know what hit ya when it happens. I know from experience….my favorite saying? ‘All things cometh to him who waiteth,if he worketh like hell while he waiteth’…

  23. Colleen Love says:

    Hi Lex,
    Great blog post! There are so many great points in your blog today I don’t know where to start! Mostly, that love does suck! Why do we put ourselves through it? Sometimes it’s like a sickness, I swear!
    I too, got that email from Mr. T and it made my heart just hurt for him. It just seems unfair! What kind of girl hurts a nice guy like this?
    I think everyone deserves their ‘happily ever after’. Hopefully he will find his soon!

    I’m still just shaking my head in wonder…
    Colleen

  24. Colleen Love says:

    Hi Lex,
    Great blog post! There are so many great points in your blog today I don’t know where to start! Mostly, that love does suck! Why do we put ourselves through it? Sometimes it’s like a sickness, I swear!
    I too, got that email from Mr. T and it made my heart just hurt for him. It just seems unfair! What kind of girl hurts a nice guy like this?
    I think everyone deserves their ‘happily ever after’. Hopefully he will find his soon!

    I’m still just shaking my head in wonder…
    Colleen

  25. SamMccart says:

    Jimmy is great guy.Your right what he does is not easy.People look at him as a picture on a cover not the whole person.(which so far I have found is amazing). Its got to be hard on him to really find someone thats not bothered by what he does thats not in the business.that understands a shoot is a shoot.and that when its over he is coming home to her. I hope he can find that person.

  26. SamMccart says:

    Jimmy is great guy.Your right what he does is not easy.People look at him as a picture on a cover not the whole person.(which so far I have found is amazing). Its got to be hard on him to really find someone thats not bothered by what he does thats not in the business.that understands a shoot is a shoot.and that when its over he is coming home to her. I hope he can find that person.

  27. ZAM says:

    Hard to imagine anyone not adoring Jimmy he’s beautiful, but he’s also kind. I love that about him. It’s enough to know that there will be lines of people of all walks of life for him to choose from when he’s ready, and until then, we can all wish him well and fill the books whose covers he graces with happy endings!

    Great blog, Gorgeous pictures,
    ZAM

  28. ZAM says:

    Hard to imagine anyone not adoring Jimmy he’s beautiful, but he’s also kind. I love that about him. It’s enough to know that there will be lines of people of all walks of life for him to choose from when he’s ready, and until then, we can all wish him well and fill the books whose covers he graces with happy endings!

    Great blog, Gorgeous pictures,
    ZAM

  29. Jimmy reminds me a lot of my son, Dusty. Both, good looking guys who get their hearts trampled again and again. There’s a woman out there who will one day love each of them unconditionally. It takes a strong and sensitive man to admit he’s suffering a broken heart in public, and I admire that. When the time is right, true love will walk into their lives and all the women who have wronged them will realize what they’ve lost.

    I have to believe there is someone out there for each of us, or I couldn’t write romance. Some are lucky and find it. Some never do, but we have to keep trying. 🙂

    Hang in their JT.

  30. Jimmy reminds me a lot of my son, Dusty. Both, good looking guys who get their hearts trampled again and again. There’s a woman out there who will one day love each of them unconditionally. It takes a strong and sensitive man to admit he’s suffering a broken heart in public, and I admire that. When the time is right, true love will walk into their lives and all the women who have wronged them will realize what they’ve lost.

    I have to believe there is someone out there for each of us, or I couldn’t write romance. Some are lucky and find it. Some never do, but we have to keep trying. 🙂

    Hang in their JT.

  31. Renee Wildes says:

    Wow – you’ve been busy, sweetie!

    Can’t wait to see the new book, and the veteran’s day defiitely caught my interest. Can’t wait for more details on that one!

    Broken hearts are interesting in fiction, but they SUCK in real life. Would that we could just “write” everyone a happy ending – world would be a much cooler place!

  32. Renee Wildes says:

    Wow – you’ve been busy, sweetie!

    Can’t wait to see the new book, and the veteran’s day defiitely caught my interest. Can’t wait for more details on that one!

    Broken hearts are interesting in fiction, but they SUCK in real life. Would that we could just “write” everyone a happy ending – world would be a much cooler place!

  33. Carol says:

    Good blog, Lex.

    I got that newsletter as well, and wondered exactly like you did. WHO would break this man’s heart?

    But I loved that he admitted his emotional trouble and shared it. Made him so real to me, so sensitive.

    It is like you say, Lex. Just because a person can be hotness personified doesn’t mean their heart is unbreakable.

    And I’m like you. I can much more easily share my emotions–good and bad–through my characters than I can talking to others about them, or even bloggign them.

  34. Carol says:

    Good blog, Lex.

    I got that newsletter as well, and wondered exactly like you did. WHO would break this man’s heart?

    But I loved that he admitted his emotional trouble and shared it. Made him so real to me, so sensitive.

    It is like you say, Lex. Just because a person can be hotness personified doesn’t mean their heart is unbreakable.

    And I’m like you. I can much more easily share my emotions–good and bad–through my characters than I can talking to others about them, or even bloggign them.