Today, I have the pleasure of a guest blogger, something I don’t usually do on this blog. However, this author is quite eloquent and an excellent blogger. I’ve watched her grow as a writer and author and I’m very pleased to have her here today. Please welcome Karenna Colcroft.
I recently had a discussion with my husband in which he told me that he wants me to get angry. My usual method of dealing with anger is to hold it in till I can’t anymore, then cry to him for half an hour or so about the situation and a bunch of other stuff. He said when I’m mad at him, he’d rather have me start an argument than hold it in.
I trust him. I know if I argue with him, he isn’t going to lash out at me or hurt me in any way. My problem was that I didn’t trust myself not to lash out at him.
So I made him promise that if I did what he needs, he’ll have my back and stop me if I go too far. Not that I can’t control my temper; I just don’t trust that I will.
The fact that I trust him enough to know he won’t lash out in an argument and that he’ll help me with my temper is due to his working to earn that trust. For a lot of reasons I won’t go into here, I have abundant cause not to trust anyone at all. But he knew that going in, and he’s been patient, kind, and caring to a fault, and has gotten past my distrust. He’s earned the right to be trusted.
I think a lot of people have trust issues of one level or another. All of us have some hurt or slight in our past that we have to overcome before we’re willing to let the next person in. Some of us have more issues than others, of course.
My novella Beginner’s Luck started out being about a couple who wanted to have anal sex, so they bought a butt plug kit online to help them. But when I started looking more closely at the story, prompted along by help from Lex and from Mary at Pink Petal Books, I realized it was more than that.
Kyla, the heroine in the story, doesn’t want anal sex just because it’s hot, or nasty, or whatever. She wants to do it to show her boyfriend Alec that he’s earned her trust. Because I speak from experience when I say that being on the receiving end of anal requires a LOT of trust in one’s partner.
So instead of being just a story about a couple who buy butt plugs, Beginner’s Luck became a story about a woman who had a lot of trust issues to overcome, and the man who found her worth the effort to help her overcome them. It isn’t a story about sex, it’s a story about the power of trust.
Though there is some pretty hot sex in it…
Beginner’s Luck is available through Pink Petal Books.