I saw something today that irked me. Before I get into what it was, and why it irked me, let me preface this by saying that the person who posted the remark is not someone I dislike. Nor is my little tirade meant to bash anyone or denigrate or belittle them. What this is, pure and simple, is a commentary. MY commentary. MY opinion. MY rant, if you want to call it that.
What I saw was a remark on one of the loops about how someone perceived an Alpha male. The part that irked me was the part that said she thought of Alpha males as more well endowed in the penis department than other males. Motley and I looked at each other and said, “WTF?”
You see, I’m a pretty free thinker and I’ve brought Motley up to be the same. Neither of us believes in any of the standard crapola that is rolled out with regard to sex. When women start talking bigger is better… I always beg to differ. So, to us, the idea that an Alpha male must be bigger, thicker, better is wrong, wrong, wrong. And really, as a mother, I think it gives young women the wrong idea about what constitutes good sex. So many of Motley’s girlfriends (all in the 18-21 year old range) think that they will have better sex with a man who has a big dick. I’ve made a point of making sure Motley doesn’t believe this.
When we tell these girls that bigger is better, we’re setting them up for failure. Failure at their relationships with men. They’ll assume that the hot guy with the big dick will be the best lover of their life. They fall in love with love…and with the big dick. You think I’m wrong? I’m not. I’ve seen it happen to women all my life. Sure not every woman believes this. But enough of them do that when the new hubby doesn’t really deliver, they become disillusioned with the sex, and then with him.
I don’t like stereotypes. I think they are harmful to people. I may write that one of my characters has a huge dick or a thick dick, but you won’t ever see me say that it’s X number of inches. One woman’s idea of huge is different than another’s. I let them imagine what works for them. I don’t want to tell anyone what is the best size for them. Cause yanno, to me, it’s not about size anyway.
I could cite examples from my own life, but then this post would get XXX rated. My point is that while it’s nice to think of Alpha males as being something a bit more than the average guy, what’s really that wrong with the average guy? Can’t they be Alpha too? Why do Alphas have to be more handsome and more well endowed? Why does handsome and bigger have to be the synonym for better?
In my world, it’s not and never will be. To me, the Alpha is the male who is smarter. The one who will show his emotions, try to communicate, always strive to do the right thing, who will do anything to please and protect his mate and his family. He doesn’t have to be 6’5″ with long blonde hair to be Alpha. He only has to be unafraid to fight for his loved ones, and unafraid to show a tear when everyone dies in Titanic.
Have a great Tuesday!