First of all, let me thank Hilly for letting me guest post at her site yesterday. It was a lot of fun and the Cupcake Girls photo amused me all day! Also, I found Certifiable Princess’ comment so funny I had to check out her blog. And I totally laughed my ass off. She’s a lot like my bitch Mary, so I put her in my feedreader and on my blog roll.
It’s Monday and I feel short on time. I’m sitting here in my towel trying to put together a Marcus Monday post for you and I’m running late. It’s been unbearably hot in my house. I’m not sleeping well. In fact, I’m all out of sorts this morning because I didn’t hear the alarm when it went off at 6. I heard it when it went off again at 6:15, which totally threw me into one of those “moods”. I don’t sleep very soundly so I usually am awake by the time the alarm goes off. I went to sleep so late, and slept so poorly that when I did hit the zone, it was early morning and I missed the alarm by 15 minutes. Have I said I hate being late?
Now, I feel off kilter. I dislike that too. I’m sure I won’t stop feeling panicked until I’m at my desk at the office sucking down Starbucks Caffe Verona. Thank god for a nice dark blend of coffee. At any rate, I don’t remember what I was gonna talk about this morning or which picture I was going to use. Maybe I was gonna tell you all how Jen the Redneck Romance Writer has been encouraging me lately. The woman is amazing. She’s a great cheerleader. She got me to sign up for this Yahoo group of authors from Liquid Silver Books. They were tossing out hot book excerpts most of Sunday.
For some reason, this was like a burr under my saddle. All day, I kept thinking, I can do that! So I went to Liquid Silver and looked at their submission guidelines, and pulled out that freaky dream I had that ended with little red monsters… and I started working it into a piece for their Quick Silver line. The hero has a pussy sounding name, but the heroine’s name is… Jen. HEH.
Oh, yeah. I remembered what I was gonna write about! All those excerpts were from published or about to be published authors. Then there were two excerpts that shocked me to the core. The woman who posted them acted like she was just like any of the other authors there. However, the quality of the excerpts was so far below the others that I think I threw up a little in my mouth.
The writing had bad grammar. It had bad punctuation. It had no capital letters. The excerpt was written badly too. I kept thinking to myself, “rough draft” just to give the writer the benefit of the doubt. Then I checked out her website (not a real website but one of those popular places where you have friends and post stuff) and found a post of hers where she said she’d submitted this work to a bunch of publishers and one was interested. Now, I really had to go rinse my mouth out.
To say I was shocked is pretty mild. I mean, we have Bar writers who write in the same unpolished style as this woman, but at least they know when to use a capital letter! I think I got a little pissed. How could a publisher be interested in something that was so poorly put together that I had difficulty following it? It read like someone was on the phone gossiping to a girlfriend!
In the end, I just figured that the woman was blithely spinning along acting as if she was one of the authors in the group, when she wasn’t yet published, and that everyone was sort of ignoring her and her bad writing to be polite. I mean, I hadn’t seen anyone reply to her the way they had to the published authors. So I ended up feeling sorry for her. I wouldn’t have had the balls to post an excerpt from the Bar in a group where the excerpts were supposed to come from published authors. Some people are just oblivious, I guess. It just ended up being a surreal thing.
Anyhoo, here’s a Marcus to enliven your Monday if you’re female or gay. You straight guys may have to wait until Wednesday for some heat. I think I have a naked Keeley Hazell in my photo collection for you. Hmmmn.
Oh, yeah. In anticipation of me getting my shit together with this writing thing, I updated winterheart.com to look more like an author site. *sigh* Yeah, I’m gonna do this. How can I not with such great cheerleaders as the Bar writers, Susan from West of Mars, and Jen in my corner?
Have a great Monday!