Pssst! They’re back. My characters from the Bar. They like coming here and hanging out sometimes when I’m busy. And lately, I’ve been busy writing at the Bar. Last time out, Carlisle and Lex guest posted for me. This time it’s Weylyn. Try not to drool too much. *wink* BTW – “were” is not were… it’s WEAR. Short for werewolf.
Woah! This is much different than I’m used to. I mean, I play bass in a band. Usually, I’m up all night sleep all day. Or in my case, fuck all day. I’m just your average every day were-horn dog. If it has a pulse and excites me in some way, I will fuck it. Tall, short, fat, thin, male, female. I don’t have a preference. They just have to engage my interest in some way. Brainless groupies aren’t much my thing any longer, so if you’re beautiful, but you don’t have a thought in your head that is original, move along.
Now, I will be the first person to tell you that I will fuck anything. Truth be told though, I won’t. A person has to draw the line somewhere, right? If you’ve got an STD, take a hike. Werewolves have a keen sense of smell. I can smell the clap a hundred yards away. And if you’re stupid enough to try to get with me when you’re diseased, I have no qualms telling everyone in hearing distance why I won’t fuck you. Sure, that’s spoiling your fun for the night, but I’d rather protect the innocent than let you get your rocks off infecting people.
Another thing that’s a turn off is dumbasses. Asshats. Oh, and mean girls. Believe me, everyone knows when they are one of those, they just choose to act as if they aren’t. So if you are one of those, and you come on to me, you are asking for a major set down. I will put your ass in it’s place so fast it will make your ego spin. I don’t like to waste time that could be spent getting off, playing music, or eating. So don’t piss me off and waste my time hitting on me. I will make you sorry that you did.
Groupies and sycophants annoy me. Why do those people insist on thinking that just because I’m a musician and I like to get laid, I am stupid enough to fuck them? It’s frustrating, I tell you. Being a sexual revolutionary does not mean I’m stupid. I am smarter than the average were. Never underestimate me.
That reminds me, never underestimate the power of my charm either. You’re afraid to fuck me because you’re older than me? I will make you feel young again. Worried about fucking me because I make more money than you? We’ll eat at McDonald’s. Concerned that you’re not attractive, that you’re too short, too bald, too fat, too skinny, too something? Hey, if I want you, why would you worry about any of those things? When I want someone, I make sure that they know that. And if I can see that you are a short, skinny, balding guy or a fat, dumpy, woman with gray roots, and I still want you… then you must know that there is something right about you. Because, I don’t pick my partners lightly.
You see, I may be a horn dog, but I’m still selective. People matter. Who they are. Not what they look like. The best blow job I ever had was a girl with so many freckles she was afraid to go out in public for fear of being made fun of. However, the fact that I liked her, her quirky sense of humor, her racy turn of mind, her openness to trying new things, showed her that she was beautiful where it counted. And she was great in the sack. Best blow job I ever had. Uhh, I said that already, didn’t I? Sorry.
Don’t ever think that who you are is meaningless. I don’t happen to think that’s true. And you can scoff all you like and say that it’s easy for me to say that when I’m young and talented and good looking and people want me. Just because I am those things doesn’t mean I couldn’t have self doubts. I appreciate people who think and live and feel. So don’t sell yourself short and hide in your house because you’re not one of the pretty people. Some of us out here don’t measure people that way. Your odds of me wanting to fuck you are just as good as the other guy’s. Or girl’s. I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy, ya know.
So look. I don’t wanna hear about the things you think you aren’t, or the things you think you can’t be, or even the things that you truly aren’t. I want to know who and what you ARE. In the now. In the moment. All those sexual fantasies you have bottled up inside you? Bring ’em on! Let’s give them a go! Don’t be afraid. If I like you, I like you. Which generally means I’ll fuck you. Grab my ass like it’s a piece of your life and let’s get on this rollercoaster ride cause there is no time like the present for having some fun.
This is too philosophical for you, isn’t it? You’re just used to me just getting my rocks off. Well, I like getting my rocks off, but I wanted you all to know that you have value. I’d fuck you. Really. And I don’t say that lightly despite what you may have heard… or read. I gotta work on my rep a little, I guess. Maybe this guest posting thing will help. Ya think?