Everything irks me. I’m in one of those prickly kinda moods where nothing satisfies. I look at my template and I seethe. I think about all the stuff I wanna tweak in Photoshop because I need to create something “perfect”. I read other blogs and think, why aren’t I this funny or deep? I stand at the refrigerator door, stomach growling like a grizzly bear, contemplating everything that is inside the big white box… and close the door. Nothing in there appeals. Which is fucking bizarre because for one, I have BACON. For another, I buy what I like when I order groceries. I don’t have anyone else to please at the moment when I’m buying food.
This phenomena inside me occurs every now and again. Usually, I cannot write when I’m in this mood. What I end up doing is working on the Bar character pages. Or I make something else new. I’m not sure I understand why I feel the need to build/create when I’m in a dissatisfied state. I mean, the writing is building and creating too. Why can’t I do it when I’m feeling persnickety?
I’ve got a ton of projects I’m juggling and I’m eager to do them all. Why is it that I’m more interested in breakfast at Johnny Reb’s? And not for the food either because at the moment, nothing appeals even though my stomach is protesting. Maybe I just want out of the house. But if that is the case, why am I feeling like I don’t wanna go get the mani/pedi that I have to get because the company picnic is tomorrow? (Cannot show up in flip flops without a fresh pedi. God forbid that I give someone fresh fodder to gossip about me!) I have to go to the bank, but I don’t wanna. I need to watch my races at the sim because I have a 2 year old filly who is so evenly matched against another filly that the race should be incredibly exciting. But I’m dragging my heels about clicking the link.
I don’t think I’m unhappy per se. Dissatisfied with some things, certainly. Depressed about money, always. But what the hell do those things have to do with me feeling bitchy and nitpicky and just… irritated? And before one of you raises the female banner let me tell you point blank that it is NOT PMS. I do not suffer from it. I have never in my life had excess estrogen. I am missing internal girly parts and because of that I have never had PMS. Menopause is going to be a piece of cake for me because I won’t need hormone replacement, I’m told by my doctor. I’ve never had much of it to begin with.
I guess I just have to be a crank ass every now and again. A Scrooge, if you will. Irritated. Pissy. Cantankerous. Bitchy. Whiny. Persnickety. Fussy. Disgruntled. That’s it. I’m a fucking malcontent. A nitpicky malcontent. Luckily, the mood won’t last. Something will perk me up like boobs in a water bra. This mood never lasts. If it did, I might need to shoot myself. Or change my blog template daily.
Have a great non-nitpicky Saturday, people of the Blogosphere!