I gotta talk about the Bar today. The reason for this is that I’m looking for inspiration. Or motivation. Not sure which. It’s funny how those two things can become interchangeable. And actually, I think my problem is distraction, not inspiration or motivation. Too many “shun” words for a Saturday morning, I think. My head’s already buzzing and I haven’t even had a glass of water yet.
Distraction is in the form of the lovely pre-paid card that I use on the internet. It’s not attached to my bank accounts so I feel a lot better about using it online. I went to albertsons.com last night and did my grocery shopping for the next two weeks. $97 later, I’m ready to check out. Card declined. WHAT? You fuckers, it’s freaking PAYDAY. No way is my card declined. Then I think, shit… new girl doing payroll. She coulda effed up anything. I call the automated system. “Account balance $513.76. There are no pending deposits or transactions at this time.”
Now, I’m really going WTF? I try to get a live person. Instead, I get the “If you need to speak to a live customer service representative, please call back between our normal business hours of 9 am to 5 pm Pacific time, Monday thru Friday.” I’m really stewing now. All the stuff I planned to do this weekend has now been fucked up. For some reason, even though there is plenty of money on the card, whatever I try to do gives back a “declined”. Grrrrr.
I had to call the cable company and tell them I will WALK a payment in. The girl at Time Warner was very helpful and sympathetic. She said if I didn’t really feel like walking the payment in, she would just give me an extension so I could call in the payment once the card issue was resolved. Why couldn’t the card company be this easy and assessable? All the bills were pretty accommodating. Apparently, this is a common card problem so all the companies I was going to pay were willing to wait a few days for payment until the situation was cleared up. That was great! Except for my groceries.
I’m sitting here with my stomach growling and my brain set on Grrrr because I can’t get my groceries delivered. I have food. I bought $176 bucks worth 2 weeks ago and then ate out most of last week. My cupboards are pretty full. It’s the principle though. I give you my freaking money and pay 50 cents a transaction PLUS $5 a month to use this card online. The least they could do is let me use it when there’s clearly a bunch of money on it!
Okay, enough about my distract-SHUN. On to my motiva-SHUN. I wanna write. I’m trying to put myself into writing mode because I do have stuff I need – want – to crank out. However, I think the distraction has affected my motivation. My annoyance level is high and my mind isn’t on Griffin the way it should be when I’m about to start a post about him getting ready to attend his newfound sister’s wedding. So maybe my motivation isn’t quite where it should be yet. If I write Griffin now, will he be all pissy and angry? Will that be a waste of my writing time if I have to edit the whole freaking thing to change how he sounds?
This brings me to inspira-SHUN. Griffin is a complex character. He has a lot of twisted things happening in his life. He’s supposed to be on edge and nervous, faced with a situation where he clearly wants to be accepted, but he’s feeling apprehensive and cautious because his newfound brother thinks he’s a monster. He’s going to need some hand holding to make it through this event, so he’s looking to his best friend since childhood to attend with him. He’s also going to wonder what his new family will think if he brings a man to the wedding. Of course, he knows that there is a simple explanation for why he’s bringing Roman. Roman is not only his best friend, he’s his business partner. When Griffin went to Paris to meet his long lost family, Roman accompanied him. Griffin does know other people in Paris – females – but his new family doesn’t know that. They do know he arrived with his business partner so maybe they won’t question the fact that he’s shown up with a man at an event where everyone has a date.
Hmmn. I’m starting to feel the pull. The annoyance is receding and my characters are calling me. if I make myself some food will I lose the little bit of headway I’ve made toward recapturing my groove? Or will the growling and pain in my empty gut be yet another distract-SHUN?
BANG! CRASH! THUMP! I think the decision was just made for me. I’m now looking at two very guilty orange faces. Something has gone down in the living room. The Feral Brothers are looking at me like they are in trouble. If I haul my ass up to check it out, I might as well make breakfast. So, I’m off to clear away the disaster – or call Motley to – and make some chow. Hopefully, when I return to this computer the twats won’t keep me from getting into Griffin’s head and turning out his post about his sister’s wedding.
Wish me luck.