Tuesday Tunes and Wheezing

My brain has been furiously running through songs since I offered up my fractured vocal cords on the altar of Fab’s next Duet show. This is an especially tough thing for me because once upon a time, I had a very beautiful singing voice. Ask David from BellaDaddyBlog. He’ll tell you I could wring tears from your eyes. And not because I sang like fingernails on a chalkboard either. Pffft.

When I turned 30, I was diagnosed with asthma. Don’t laugh. Some people don’t get it as a kid. There have been several females in my family who got asthma after the age of 30. I thought it wasn’t a big deal. Then I got a very nasty case of pneumonia. And another. And another. In the space of 5 years, I’d had it 6 or 7 times. Now, years later, I have the horrid asthmatic wheeze and cough. Meds keep me breathing and attack free, but there has been a price to pay to continue breathing… my vocal cords and breath control. Both are now nicely shot. It’s the toughest pill I’ve had to swallow of all the meds I’ve had over the past 17 years since I was diagnosed.

For me to offer to sing is like asking a painter who is now blind to create a watercolor. Tough stuff. I can half assed carry a tune, but it’s a pathetic shadow of my former glorious voice. I goof mostly now, because to do anything serious puts me in tears. Only David knows how truly hard this is for me. But David being the kind of man he is, he would tell me to do it anyway, and fuck it if I don’t sound like an angel any more. He would tell me to just have fun. (You’re gonna send me an email now, aren’t you, David? Telling me everything I just attributed to you, right? Don’t make me out a liar, dude.)

So anyway, here are the songs I’ve decided I might be able to pull off with Fab. I have something else up my sleeve too, but it’s super secret and seriously amusing. My sense is that if it tickles Fab’s funny bone the way it tickles mine… I might just have to do it. However, it means lots and lots and lots of practice for my asthmatic self. I wonder if I can manage a take without a wheeze or a cough? Maybe I should leave them in. After all, if I can’t be the Diva anymore I might as well be Red Skelton, right? Enjoy the tunes!

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0 Responses to Tuesday Tunes and Wheezing

  1. Winter says:

    A lot of people said I sounded like a clearer version of Stevie Nicks. I dunno. I think I just sound like me.

  2. Winter says:

    A lot of people said I sounded like a clearer version of Stevie Nicks. I dunno. I think I just sound like me.

  3. rxvenomqueen says:

    Ooh…good pick with the Silverstein. I couldn’t sing any of these songs if I tried. You do have me wondering what you sounded like back in the days. Any female singers you can think of that you sounded similar to?

  4. rxvenomqueen says:

    Ooh…good pick with the Silverstein. I couldn’t sing any of these songs if I tried. You do have me wondering what you sounded like back in the days. Any female singers you can think of that you sounded similar to?

  5. Mr. Fabulous says:

    I love deets, the juicier the better!

  6. Mr. Fabulous says:

    I love deets, the juicier the better!

  7. Jennifer McKenzie says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I was a highly honed instrument at one time. Now, from lack of practice and life in general, I’ve lost that sharp edge.
    It’s not as painful as your reasons for struggling, but I could relate to the painter who was blind.
    Anyway, I LOVE that GooGoo Dolls song.

  8. Jennifer McKenzie says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I was a highly honed instrument at one time. Now, from lack of practice and life in general, I’ve lost that sharp edge.
    It’s not as painful as your reasons for struggling, but I could relate to the painter who was blind.
    Anyway, I LOVE that GooGoo Dolls song.

  9. Winter says:

    Stine – Good luck with Brat! If you ever need reinforcement I can have the PITA (my daughter) talk to her. Thanks for coming by.

    Susan – I used to do the cycle until they told me I needed a knee replacement. Ugh.

    Matt – I love that song. As a duet it’s awesome.

    Fab – You just might like what I have up my sleeve. Only you could pull this off. I shall be emailing you the juicy deets!

    Mary – Thanks for the devious mind compliment!

    MUAH! Thanks for coming by everyone!

  10. Winter says:

    Stine – Good luck with Brat! If you ever need reinforcement I can have the PITA (my daughter) talk to her. Thanks for coming by.

    Susan – I used to do the cycle until they told me I needed a knee replacement. Ugh.

    Matt – I love that song. As a duet it’s awesome.

    Fab – You just might like what I have up my sleeve. Only you could pull this off. I shall be emailing you the juicy deets!

    Mary – Thanks for the devious mind compliment!

    MUAH! Thanks for coming by everyone!

  11. MaryO says:

    It almost scares me to know you have something up your sleeve. Some call it fear I call it a healthy repsect for devious minds.

  12. MaryO says:

    It almost scares me to know you have something up your sleeve. Some call it fear I call it a healthy repsect for devious minds.

  13. Mr. Fabulous says:

    You might also consider a song by an artist like Bonnie Tyler or Melissa Etheridge. They don’t have “pure voices”.

    And I wonder what you have up your sleeve…

  14. Mr. Fabulous says:

    You might also consider a song by an artist like Bonnie Tyler or Melissa Etheridge. They don’t have “pure voices”.

    And I wonder what you have up your sleeve…

  15. Matt-Man says:

    Good Luck dealing with the asthma. I have a few friends that deal with it as well. Iris is a great tune. Cheers Winter!!

  16. Matt-Man says:

    Good Luck dealing with the asthma. I have a few friends that deal with it as well. Iris is a great tune. Cheers Winter!!

  17. Susan Helene Gottfried says:

    I don’t know if this would help your voice, but it’ll help the breathing: work out.

    Yes, I’m serious! My asthma’s so much better when I work out REALLY hard (usually spinning or biking does it ’cause you suck so much air). It’s increased my lung capacity and since asthma diminishes lung ability… you see how that benefits.

    Plus, you get really pretty legs from all that biking.

  18. Susan Helene Gottfried says:

    I don’t know if this would help your voice, but it’ll help the breathing: work out.

    Yes, I’m serious! My asthma’s so much better when I work out REALLY hard (usually spinning or biking does it ’cause you suck so much air). It’s increased my lung capacity and since asthma diminishes lung ability… you see how that benefits.

    Plus, you get really pretty legs from all that biking.

  19. Stine says:

    You’ll have fun, AND sound like an angel…
    Thanks for your kind words on Brat and the’Net!

  20. Stine says:

    You’ll have fun, AND sound like an angel…
    Thanks for your kind words on Brat and the’Net!