Yes, it is Monday again. I’m almost glad that it’s Monday. This past weekend was a doozy. First up, here’s our Marcus picture for the week. Now, I know I went a little overboard with pics last week and Marcus was in every post I made. However, in my defense, the women all liked him, and the men didn’t pipe up and tell me to stick Marcus where the sun don’t shine. So this week, to keep we women moving forward in a positive manner, here is Marcus on a motorcycle. Such a manly pic. Almost as manly as the one where you can see the head of his um, you know, through the wet white swim trunks. Just thinking about that pic makes the day go better for me. Today’s pic just adds to the enjoyment.
Now that I am suitably sedated by Marcus, I’ll tell you my tale of weekend woe. I’m watching the giraffe purse on eBay, remember? The auction ends at 4:20 pm Pacific time. Well, at 12:30 I go out to the bank to pull out some lovely refund cash. I’m waiting in line watching this guy roll across the floor in his office chair. I start thinking about my 10 year old beat up office chair at home. Then I start thinking of how my back’s been out for several days, aided and abetted by the broken back on my desk chair. I decide to walk across the bank parking lot to Office Depot and get a new chair once I’ve made my withdrawal.
Turns out Office Depot is now closed. It’s moved to a new location. So I get in the car and head out to Staples. You’re thinking, what a boring set of errands. Why is she telling us this shit? Heh. Did I mention it was supposed to rain? Did I also mention that since I was only going to the bank and then home, and it wasn’t raining when I went out, I left the house in flip flops with no jacket? You’re laughing now. I can hear it.
At Staples, I get a chair for $50. Black leather even. Didn’t even take much time. The clerk rang it up, wheeled it out to my car, and wedged it in the backseat. That’s when my weekend turned to shit. I got in the car and it wouldn’t start. Fuck me. So I call my kid and tell her the car won’t start. I tell her I’m gonna wait a few minutes and try again. After all, the dumb thing’s been acting up a little recently. Twenty minutes later, still not starting. So my kid calls a couple friends to come and give me a jump.
The PITA and I are yakking about the eBay auction, and I’m eyeing the time with a jaundiced eye. 2:10. Not long after that Aaron and Ashley show up. Forty minutes later, after waiting for the car next to me to leave so Aaron can pull his Explorer up to the Intrepid, and after the kids have fumbled the jumper cable thing a couple of times, a nice Joe Citizen comes along and resets the cables, revs the Explorer’s RPMs up, and voila! My Intrepid fires right up.
Now it’s almost 3 pm. The PITA tells me not to come home. She says the smart thing to do while the car is running is to go replace the battery. I’m whining that I want to go home. Did I mention that all through the jumper cable thing, it was fucking pouring rain? It’s stopped at this point, so I look at my flip flops and sigh. I hate it when an 18 year old is right. So I drive to Pep Boys. It’s now twenty past 3, and the Pep Boys guy is telling me it’ll be an hour to an hour and a half before my car will be done.
I grit my teeth, start walking across the parking lot to Marie Callender’s, and pull out my cell phone. I give the PITA my username and password for eBay and have her pull up my watch list. The giraffe purse has less than an hour to go, and it’s still at the same price. I heave a sigh of relief, and go into the restaurant. Half an hour later, I’m picking at a Frisco burger and drinking coffee to get warm. My phone goes off. Text from the PITA. The purse is up to $223. Well, shit. At this point, it’s not really a bargain anymore. If I have to pay $5 more than the current bid, I might as well have bought a brand new set from Dooney and Bourke. I tell the PITA to forget it.
As I’m walking back across the parking lot at the same time the auction is ending, it starts to rain. No jacket. Wet slippery flip flops. Fuck me. I see my car being backed out of the bay as I approach. I pay and get in the car to drive home. When it fires up I find the silver lining to my cold, wet, miserable weekend. My car didn’t pass smog because of 1 single thing. The check engine light was on and no one knew why. I’d been resigned to spending a grand for the mechanic to trace the problem through the electrical system. When I started the car, the check engine light was off. It stayed off the whole way home. Fuck me again. But this time in a good way.
The PITA carried the office chair in for me and put it in front of my desk. I huddled in it, wearing my fleece jammies, trying to get warm, while I thought of that stupid $100 battery. There are times in life when you say, “I’ll be damned.” Sometimes you say it when it’s not really worth it. This time it really was.
Okay, the Marcus Awards for the past week shake down this way: Mary was a busy bitch and earned 5. Matt earned 4, but he gets an extra Marcus because he gave me a COW. Nicholas didn’t give me grief for being fluffy so he ended up with 5 as well. So 5 Marcuses each for Mary, Nicholas, and Matt. Jason from Gorilla Sushi admitted that his computer has the same name as mine! WOOT! I am not alone! Two Marcuses for Jason along with Shiny, Susan, and Mr. Fab. Our one Marcus award winners are: LadyRose, Darla, Karen, TwoPugs, Shawny, Tempest Knight, Denise, and Kaige. Feel free to post the Marcus on your blog!